If you sell pee for a living...

Urine business.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?

Urine trouble.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aksurah
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the professor say when the Urology student did not know the technical name for pee?

Urine idiot.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr3vak
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What's it called when you pee in Europe

European

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Last-Stand3148
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee?

Because they are dead

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I came up with the top ten reasons you shouldn't pee on an electric fence...

(#1 will shock you!)

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ozzyfilms124
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Some guys are talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one of the friends say "I sit down when I pee"

Another friend proceeds to curse and weep at the first friend yelling "I though you were a stand-up guy!"

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scarfbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Wife: I have to pee.

Me: Yeah, well I have three pee!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PicklePillz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife told me she had to pee while I was mid stream.

I told her to join the club.

It's called Urine-Nation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnforcerBiggin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I once visited a country where a lot of people were called Yuri and it stank of pee.

It must have been the Yuri-nation.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pirate who's mad because he can't pee?

irate

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call teenagers who pee in their pants at the age of 14?

Peenagers

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/burijazz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Were did the bee go pee?

At the BP station

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoSprinkles6127
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad would walk me to the bathroom when I was scared to pee at night...

That’s a number one dad

πŸ‘︎ 376
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I just threw a pee-filled water balloon at my son

He was pissed.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
If you're a flapjack and you need to go pee you maple the 3rd handle
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wtflagnard
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 spots away? We should call that "social pisstancing".

It's topical and stuff

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paulphicles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Where is the best place to go pee?

IP Address

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyNameIsDiet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
If you pee on an electric fence,

Urine trouble.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Enrapha
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
i have a pee every morning at 7

problem is i don't wake up until 7:15

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrEpididymis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
If you spill pee on people

Urine trouble.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ri3habh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Are you the one who signed up for the pee drinking club because if so urine
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cartman8764
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear a CVS manager had to pee in the forest?

He used the toilet-trees.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/suamigojose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If one person has to go to the bathroom, they have to pee

If two or more people have to go to the bathroom, they have to queue

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bentup85
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I went swimming today and took a pee in the deep end

The lifeguard noticed and blew his whistle so loud, I almost fell in

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Went to the swimming pool the other day and desperately need to pee so just peed in the pool

Got such a fright when the lifeguard blew his whistle that I nearly fell in..

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sardonicuis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t chickens pee?

Because they eat with their peckers

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Pee Pea Pun Attack !
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlakeTheMadd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I had to check my pee if i was healthy

It was unclear.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notsafeforh0me
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
want to hear a joke about pee?

urine for a treat

πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oofmeupanddown
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
How does the rock pee?

He Dwaynes his Johnson.

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, β€œQuick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…

β€œThat’s for stinging my wife!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My pee-riod

F(21). I have an overactive bladder due to anxiety disorder. Once every month for a few days, my bladder starts acting up and I'm peeing like 20+ times a day. Decided to call it my pee-riod from now on. Feels like it, hurts like it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/msshivani
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you don’t let a pirate pee?

He gets irate

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If your here for pee jokes, urine luck
πŸ‘︎ 153
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billibob2283
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I told my doctor my pee was a weird color. He said, huh,

Urine trouble.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/analytik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?

He wanted to go where no man had gone before.

(My dad dropped this one out of nowhere over coffee this morning.)

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Finally found out why it hurts to pee
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeyBlaze
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens to you if you pee on the floor?

Urine trouble.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aksurah
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Don't pee on the seat, or urine trouble.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrytiLaughs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Went swimming today. Took a pee in the deep end.

Lifeguard noticed. Blew his whistle so loud, I almost fell in.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dottree
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
If you hold your pee

urine trouble

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyBlueCat
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
why cant you hear the pterodactyl pee

because its dead

πŸ‘︎ 187
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mosqui_toe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a rock pee?

He Dwaynes his Johnson

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BassWizard420
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report

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