Why was the anus sad?

Because it has been dealing with shit for years

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ikennaezeee
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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Which Norse realm do the protecters of the anus go?

Assguard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vs424reddit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Mercury is in your anus.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sageofsixpaths69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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My cat was walking on my furniture, as he does. Suddenly, he tripped on my bowling first-price award and both fell down, the award landing in the cat's anus.

It was a cat-ass-trophy

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BLenciusMount
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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My anus had two cars,

but she rectum.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atom644
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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What happens when you don’t brush your anus?

You get an anal cavity!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewowen_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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Did you know that when the Stanley Cup was first made, a series of absurd miscommunications resulted in it being mistakenly engraved with the image of a feline anus?

It was a huge catastrophe.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Case_Ace
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2017
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I can't believe there's now jewelry you can cover your cats anus with?

It's a catastrophe.

Edit: Don't ask what that question mark is doing there?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alfherin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
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Why was the snowman embarrassed when people saw him buying a bag of carrots?

He got caught picking his nose!

πŸ‘︎ 397
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frugatti_cuse
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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A was the Impostor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HillAreasYT
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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My pregnant wife hobbled into the hospital with one hand on her back...

A nurse asked her what's wrong, and my wife screamed, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Didn't!"

The nurse shook her head and said, "I'm sorry…I don't understand."

My wife's face contorted in pain as she shouted, "Can't! Won't! Don't!"

The nurse, bewildered, turned the doctor.

"Admit her," the doctor said. "She's having contractions."

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
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Why is Star Trek like toilet paper?

They both go around Ur anus looking for Klingons

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RB9k
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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The single β€˜worst’ dad joke I’ve ever heard, from my own dad.

Have you ever heard the story of the penguin who breathed through its anus?

Well, it sat down and died.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dino0801
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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What planet stinks?

Ur anus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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Why is toilet paper more powerful than the USS Enterprise?

Because it can circle Ur anus and wipe out kling ons

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πŸ‘€︎ u/josamo8
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2017
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What is a four-letter word for 'wind instrument'?

Doing a crossword, I asked for a four letter word meaning 'wind instrument':

Mum: Oboe

Dad: Anus

Edit: improved formatting.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinags
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2015
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How to pronounce Uranus

Whenever someone pronounces Uranus like "urANUS," my dad is quick to tell anyone who will listen that it is pronounced "URuhnus," and that "it's not any more your anus than it is my anus!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rcmartin1609
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2015
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