Did you hear of the poor chap who lost his Right buttocks in an accident?

All his best days are now left behind.

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👤︎ u/ojohn69
📅︎ Dec 13 2020
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Haven't got laid in so long I'm getting turned on by Dwayne Johnson's buttocks

I think I'm hitting ROCK BOTTOM

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👤︎ u/d7my_d7oom
📅︎ Nov 15 2020
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My daughter got the letters Y and U tattooed on one buttock and the letters L and G tattooed on the other...

It's one messed up, ugly ass tattoo.

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📅︎ Jun 29 2020
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Excuse me, doctor - my husband was rushed in with violent spasms in his buttocks. Where is he please?

ICU baby, shaking that ass

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👤︎ u/CPike90
📅︎ Apr 17 2019
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Does anyone know if it's possible to take a skin graft from your buttocks and put it on somebody who isn't family?

Arse skin for a friend.

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👤︎ u/hughdman
📅︎ Jun 27 2019
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A nice buttocks.

A great butt listens.

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👤︎ u/mstassi
📅︎ Jan 20 2015
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Back, back, back... Gone!

When you are afflicted by Heaven with pain down your back, buttock, and hamstring: SCIATICA D'SHMAYA.

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👤︎ u/psetnik
📅︎ Oct 22 2020
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My 8 year old son's joke: What do you call an ox with big butt?

Buttocks

Source - from the jokes forum.

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👤︎ u/viky_boy
📅︎ Nov 06 2020
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Fatherly flatulence

When you fart, your buttocks (butt talks)

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Jan 07 2015
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Dear daughter: Rules for usage of your prom dress I just spent an hour ironing

This was my contribution to my daughter's prom tonight.

Posted it to FB and gave my daughter some advice:

[daughter],

Today I learned that ironing is good meditation. While getting your dress ready, I came up with some rules:

Rule 1: Do not sit down in this dress, even (especially!) in a car. Sitting down will cause wrinkles, especially in the buttocks area. Long, 3-mile hikes to the high school can be very romantic.

Rule 2: Do not eat or drink in this dress. For fluids, since your arms will be bare, might I suggest an IV. For solids, have your manservant (aka "date") feed you with a long spoon while you wear one of those full-body aprons like at the barbershop.

Rule 3: Do not dance in this dress. Dancing--especially "touching" dancing--can cause wrinkles. If you really must experience physical contact during the slow dances, your date may grasp non-dress parts of you, such as your forearms or head.

Have fun at your first prom!

Love, Dad

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👤︎ u/akambe
📅︎ Apr 23 2016
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Conversation at dinner

Mom: All these Hollywood people inject drugs in their butt to make them bigger.

Dad: What buttocks ?

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Jan 06 2014
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Does anybody know if its possible to take a skin graft from your buttocks and put it on somebody who isn't family?

Arse skin for a friend

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📅︎ Jan 02 2019
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