πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pollworker54
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
If you cut your right butt cheek...

Are you left behind?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hosuabii
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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When you swim in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek

That's a moray

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Now I can smell cheeks
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blast_Off_to_Room
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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My boyfriend gave me a butt massage today, but only focused on one cheek...

It was very half-assed

πŸ‘︎ 135
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arteminxx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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What did one butt cheek say to the other?

Together we can stop this shit

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Did you see Thor put some subtle rouge on his brother’s cheeks with just a hint of eye shadow?

It was pretty Loki

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlatinumCalf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?

Between you and me, something stinks!

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youworryaboutyou
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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I once saw an Egyptian pharaoh honk his horn and put his bum cheeks up to the window of his vehicle.

It was a toot and car moon.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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What is it called when one butt cheek is bigger than the other?

Assymmetrical

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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So I walked into my daughter's room with a tape measure the other day, and she was lying on her bed reading a book. I stood in the doorway and started slowly extending the tape measure, all the way across the room, until it touched her cheek. "What??" she asked me. My response...

"I'm measuring your patience!"

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Piccolo_Bass
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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β€ͺAt one point, I had so much acne on my face, that a blind person mistook my right cheek for braille.‬

β€ͺI was so embarrassed. Boy, was my face read‬

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheChickenNecks
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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My kid got sunburned on only one of their butt cheeks

My wife said I did a half ass job applying sunscreen

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommyWiseaus_butt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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Is butt cheeks one word

Or should I spread them apart?

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlancaPagina
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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My aunt always put a wad of Copenhagen between her cheek and gun before swimming...

She liked taking a dip.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother visited the cemetery today to see our mom. He walked up to her grave stone, closed his eyes and with a tear running down his cheek, said

Look who’s grounded now, mom.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sioswing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman goes to the doctor clutching her cheek...

The doctor asks β€œWhat’s the problem?” The woman removes her her hand to reveal an area of green grass with a tree growing out of the middle, with some people in deck chairs picnicking next to a small lake. β€œOh that’s nothing to worry about” said the doctor, β€œits just a beauty spot”.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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When I see names like this I turn the otter cheek.
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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My daughter has a fungal rash on her cheek, so my wife calls her a mushroom when applying the ointment.

I tell my daughter, β€œIt’s ok, I’m a fungi too!”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papa-heph
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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My wife and I were drinking wine last night, and she looked over to me and said: β€œWow... your cheeks get really red when you drink wine, it could be Rosacea.”

I looked back and her and naturally said: β€œ...actually it’s Cab.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dr00b
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek when the cops pulled them over?

β€œQuick. Hide the crack!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkpredator67
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek?

"If we stick together we can stop this shit!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shredbmc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?

If we stick together we can stop this crap!

πŸ‘︎ 251
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrofessorBroDown
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mosquito sitting on your spouse’s cheek?

A golden opportunity.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
When your butt cheeks are different sizes...

You're Ass-symmetrical!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bootsycline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?

You cracked me up.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jessiefok28
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What did one butt cheek say to the other?

Nothing...it just cracked.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
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If I cut off my right butt cheek...

Would I be left behind?

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gori_randi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2016
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So I just playfully licked my girlfriend on her cheek...

And my dad says "HEY. You can't do that without a liquor license."

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Comrade_Commodore
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2014
🚨︎ report
Did you see Thor put some subtle rouge on his brother’s cheeks with just a hint of eye shadow?

It was pretty Loki.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PlatinumCalf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one butt cheek say to the other?

Together we can stop this shit

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/camilodmoreno
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one butt cheek say to the other?

Together, we can stop this shit.

πŸ‘︎ 120
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyesboyee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?

Together we can stop this shit!

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/detrickster
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What did one butt cheek say to the other?

We can stop this shit together

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EdGacey
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the right butt cheek say to the left butt cheek?

If we stick together we can put a stop to this shit

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ecudorian
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2013
🚨︎ report

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