The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds...

...they will be subma-weiners.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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What do you call a place that studies dogs?

A labratory.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"

The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Saw this in a YouTube video, thought it belonged here.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Motor46
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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Maid Got Fired

I hired a new maid last year but she wasn’t doing a great job. I called her into the study and told that I was sorry but I was going to have to let her go. I tipped her an extra $20 and thanked her for her services. As she was leaving she threw a $10 bill to our dog, Lucy. I asked her, β€œWhat was that for?" She replied, β€œCan’t forget my helper! Lucy has a great tongue, and always helped me do the dishes!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/specklesinc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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My earbuds fell in a dogs turd.

So I'm just going to begin this story with myself coming home from school after a long day. My sister after doing everything around the house asked me if I could walk the dog. "Yeah sure! No problem." No problem. So I plug in my headphones and leave to take her for a walk. So I left the house and within 5 minutes my dog had sat down and refused to move until at least 10 people had passed for no real reason. She then proceeded to rear up on her hind legs and drop possibly the biggest crap pattie I had ever seen come out of this dog. Luckily for a change I have bags so no biggie, I pull one out, bend over and suddenly my music gets slightly quieter. Now, after a long day of studying and tests and whatnot I didn't really notice what had happened until I went to stand up and felt the slightest resistance in the cord, I look down only to see my earbud covered in dog crap. I had no choice but to un plug my headphones and abandon them like a wounded soldier in battle. Of corse I come home to see my dad and my sister sitting on the couch talking about their day only to see me walk in looking a bit angry. "Hey what's up with you?" My Sister asks, "Like why do you look so grumpy?" In my mood after this irritating mishap I can only grumble "I dropped my headphones in her turd" I reply, only for my dad to retort with "Hey, how about you stop listening to shitty music for a change!"

I hope you enjoyed the story of my struggle, he said this and all I could think of was posting this.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the-dools
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2014
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