If you wanted to take a bunch of bullets and forge them into a sword fit for a king what Caliber would you use?

Excalibur

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📅︎ Jan 28 2021
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Chores at Valley Forge?

George had 2000 lbs of Laundry to do. That's a washing-ton!

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👤︎ u/mftuchman
📅︎ Dec 08 2018
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What happens in you put Tea in a Forge?

I forget. :D

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👤︎ u/Durien9
📅︎ Sep 15 2014
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I apopted a dog from a blacksmith today

As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door

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👤︎ u/acideath
📅︎ Dec 17 2020
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Did you hear of that fake metal that was fraudulently sold to companies as "steel"? It turned out to be an alloy mostly made up of tin. Guess you can call it FORGED steel
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👤︎ u/figgerer
📅︎ Nov 26 2019
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One of the stars of Suicide Squad stated that he might start forging iron.

This raises the question: Will Will Smith Smith?

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📅︎ Aug 18 2016
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My eating utensils were forged from Valerian steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
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📅︎ Feb 23 2019
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Why did the blacksmith reject his newly forged sword?

It smelt funny

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👤︎ u/Rorasaur
📅︎ Jan 11 2017
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I don't really understand the game of starting out calling plays for T-ball games then advancing to calling plays in the World Series...

The whole idea of Forge of Umpires confuses me.

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📅︎ Jul 22 2020
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Naming our future children.

Told my girlfriend I had some ideas for names for our future kids.

First was Penelope for a girl, because I always liked the nickname Penny. Girlfriend thought it was cute and agreed.

Next was Dimitri because it's not too common and sounds artsy. Girlfriend was not much of a fan, but agreed it would sound good with our last name.

Last was Nicholas Levar for a son's name. Named after Santa Claus and Star Trek's Geordi La Forge. I love Christmas and my girlfriend loves Star Trek. Girlfriend shot it down.

At this point I said, "But the nicknames are good! Penny, Dime, and Nick L. We would have 16 cents to our name! It makes cents to me!"

Not sure if she wants to have kids with me now.


EDIT: To the guys saying Dime isn't a nickname for Dimitri, they're MY imaginary kids, I'll call them what I damn want.

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📅︎ Oct 25 2015
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What do you get when you cross LeVar Burton with Sylvester Stallone?

Reading Rambo.

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📅︎ May 27 2018
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I think the dog I adopted used to belong to a blacksmith,..

...because as soon I got it home, it made a bolt for the door!

(Blacksmiths make bolts for doors)

Credit: Random Contestant on Forged in Fire

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👤︎ u/noyfbfoad
📅︎ Feb 06 2019
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How does a blacksmith find food?

He forges

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📅︎ Mar 13 2019
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Blasphememe

What do you call metal that has been forged by satan?

Hell bent

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📅︎ Jul 29 2019
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Puns for a character name

I'm currently building a war forged bard. He has a chest that acts as a record player and his left arm is the horn. I'm need of name pun brilliance!!

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👤︎ u/Zonero174
📅︎ Feb 13 2018
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[Request] A x-mas themed pun about slag/smelting

Context: My brother made a forge this summer and mom kept the slag from his first firing. She's using it in a x-mas ornament present for him and we can't think of anything witty to write on it. If anyone can think of a good one, we'd love to hear it!

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👤︎ u/Xattle
📅︎ Dec 22 2017
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What did they say when the first metal-cast bust was made?

Wow, that artist is really forging a head

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📅︎ Jan 31 2019
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[x-post /r/Jokes] [OC] An old blacksmith was working in his shop...

when there was a terrible accident. The fire in his forge had gone out of control and set fire to the shop. The blacksmith nearly lost his life. He was bedridden for many months and relied on the help of his children and grandchildren to feed him, bathe him, and take care of all of his needs. Eventually he was able to get back on his feet, though his outlook on life had turned quite grim. He was now able to take care of himself, but he had lost much of his strength and dexterity from the injuries he sustained and he was unable to practice his trade. He fell into a deep depression and he spent most of his days sitting at home in front of the fireplace gazing into the flames, longing for the days when his strong hands could grasp a hammer and strike a hot piece of iron, slowly forging it into a beautiful piece of work.

One evening when the old man was sitting in front of the fire, he heard a knock at the door. It was his granddaughter, whom he hadn't seen in many months. She had overheard her father talking to her mother about how her grandfather was slowly slipping away into depression and hopelessness and she wanted to help. To the old man's surprise, she had brought him a puppy. "I thought that since you're always here all by yourself that you might want someone you keep you company," the granddaughter said. The old man's eyes welled up with tears and the little puppy instantly jumped into his arms and began licking the tears from his face. The old man and his granddaughter spent the next several hours sitting on the floor of his house watching the puppy chase around a rubber ball, bouncing, jumping, panting, and licking. In that short time, the old man had made complete turnaround from being sad, lonely, and hopeless, to smiling from ear to ear, full of joy with his new-found companion. As the hours grew late and the puppy grew tired, the granddaughter said "Well Opa, I'm glad you like your puppy, but it's late and I should be heading home. By the way, what are you going to call him?" "Life," said the old man, "because he has given me a new meaning and joy to mine." The granddaughter kissed her grandfather on the cheek, wished him goodnight, and she left.

Many years passed and all the while, the old man and his little dog were inseparable. Everywhere the old man went, Life was always with him whether it was the post office, the grocery store, and even when the old man went to the barber shop, the little dog would sit patiently until the last hair on

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Aug 27 2016
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Making Dad proud at the barber

I was getting my hair cut today and told her how I started blacksmithing this summer and made my own forge.

Barber: "Oh that's really cool!"

Me: "Actually, it's really hot!"

Barber audibly groans.

Thanks for raising me right Dad!

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📅︎ Jun 26 2015
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A dad joke from a blacksmith

I was at a renaissance fair a few weekends back and there was this blacksmith putting on a forging show. At the end, he took questions from people. Someone asked "What's your favorite thing to make?" Without skipping a beat, he responded with "Babies."

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👤︎ u/LunarWulfe
📅︎ Oct 14 2013
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Bought a dog from a blacksmith.

He's great, as soon as I got home he made a bolt for the door.

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📅︎ Sep 29 2020
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I adopted a dog from a Blacksmith...

As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the backdoor

👍︎ 10k
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👤︎ u/B-man44
📅︎ Sep 16 2019
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How does a blacksmith find food?

He forges

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📅︎ Nov 03 2018
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