A hammerhead shark made from hammer heads
I was always wondering why hammers fall down.
Why didnt Captain America lift Thor’s hammer untill he needed to?
He didn’t want to steal his thunder
Who invented the door hammer?
Once i told a hammer joke
What happens to the files in my Dell laptop when I smash it with a hammer?
This guy with a hammer kept screaming like it was an emergency...
This is not a drill! This is not a drill! STOP!
I never like going over to MC Hammers house
He never lets me touch anything
“I need some nails and a hammer”-fiancé
‘I have 10 nails but I’d rather not hit them with a hammer.’ -me
My son just played "Don't Break The Ice" by himself with two hammers and exclaimed "I won!"
To which I replied "but on the other hand, you lost"
What do you call a bearded man holding a Hammer and a Sickle
What do you call a hammer bought in april 1st?
What do you get when you cross a cookie and a hammer?
I was helping my dad with construction he told me to get the hammer but I accidentally gave him the drill
He said I could have nailed it, but I screwed up
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
Meet my new friend - hammer.
Why the did hammer hit the nail through the wall.
To drive the point across.
Have you ever been in MC Hammer's house?
It's horrible, you can't touch anything
Why doesn't Thor keep his hammer by his chest?
Because that's where his thorax is.
A ribeye looks over at the spiky hammer, and asks the cube steak, "What's that?"
This hammerhead shark made of hammer heads.
Why did the hammer feel bad?
Because he hit his head.
(From my 5yr old daughter; I’m so proud)
If thor throws his hammer a long distance,
Does that make it Mjol-far?
Home Depot wouldn't let me buy a hammer in store.
They said they have to mallet to me.
Me: "Dad, why are you banging a hammer on the rib roast?"
Dad: "Just fixing dinner."
How fast did thors hammer get destroyed?
I was trying to hammer down a loose board at the cottage...
I'm not much of a craftsman but my fiancé says I nailed it.
A 16oz hammer is a pounder.
I just bought this cool electronic hammer.
I guess you could call it a battery ram.
Did you hear about the hammer's performance at work?
Had an argument with my wife earlier. We were fighting hammer and tong...
She won, She had the hammer.
My Dad says I hammer like lightning!
I never strike in the same place twice.
What happened when the Norse God of Thunder dropped his hammer on his hand?
What did the hammer say after hanging up the poster
The Jack hammer was a ground breaking invention.
I hate watching hammer throw.
Just a bunch of people throwing their weight around.
My son was having trouble figuring out how to use a hammer and nails.
My wife encourages me to have a lot of hammers...
We're in a poly-hammerous relationship
A blind man picked up a hammer and saw.
Miley Cyrus licks a hammer and everyone loves it but
I do it and get kicked out of the hardware shop ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So, after shopping for a hammer this weekend...
I'm curious if they are priced by the pound.
How do they figure out the price of a hammer?
Why did the piece of wood break up with the hammer?
Because he was nailing other boards.
"Oh I see," said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.
My grandfather's favorite dad joke.
Did you hear MC Hammer has a new album of George Gerswhin covers?
After I had bent three nails in a row with my hammer...
Why did Thor hit a sick man with his hammer?
He was trying to norse him back to health.
Did you hear about the blind guy who picked up a hammer and saw?
What did Jesus Christ say when he hit his thumb with a hammer?
What's the difference between a ladder and a hammer? --You can't climb the latter.
I heard Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer were making a sequel movie
The Loan Ranger: Collecting Interest
My dad dropped the hammer
My dad, who is Indian, lives in a small college town with a small community of modest, nerdy Indians.
Enter the one fashionista who shows up at a get together sporting a DKNY shirt. My dad walks up, seemingly completely ignorant, and loudly asks, "WHAT IS THIS DONKEY SHIRT?"
Fashionista cried. I died.
Why did the wall trust the hammer?
The wall knew that hammer always nailed it.
Why would MC Hammer be a good employee at a museum?
Don't touch that!
One of my dads.
Did you hear about the guy who vandalized a park bench with a hammer?
It was an act of mallets.
Today my father hit his thumb with a hammer while holding a nail. He asked me how he could have avoided it.
He answered "just hold the hammer with two hands instead"
I never had MC Hammer's pants...
...because I can't touch this.
"I see" said the blind carpenter, as he picked up his hammer and saw.
These go on for days all based on similar puns