Hammer - This is Not a Drill
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IronThin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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A guy walks into a bar holding a hammer over his head.

"Ladies and Gentlemen" he yells!! "This is not a drill."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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My hammer has 100% nail hitting accuracy

because if I miss the nail, I hit my nail

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolf_cy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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I just made a song about hammers.

It's a real banger.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/person7849
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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The Hammer Time dance should be considered a ball room dance.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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As a child a friend hit my left eyeball with hammer once

It has really impacted my outlook on life

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dulonko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Today I will be talking about the Makita 18V Cordless 1/2-Inch Hammer Drive

You know the drill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sictirul
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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A hammerhead shark made from hammer heads
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vermillion_-_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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If you can’t hammer screws

Screw screws

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joachim_s
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Once i told a hammer joke

I nailed it.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DimitkoRD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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I bought a new hammer for a cheap price

I really nailed it this time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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I was always wondering why hammers fall down.

Then it hit me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Burn_Stick
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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Why didnt Captain America lift Thor’s hammer untill he needed to?

He didn’t want to steal his thunder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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Who invented the door hammer?

Doesn't ring a bell

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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What happens to the files in my Dell laptop when I smash it with a hammer?

They get Dell-eted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sylveon10101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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I never like going over to MC Hammers house

He never lets me touch anything

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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This guy with a hammer kept screaming like it was an emergency...

This is not a drill! This is not a drill! STOP!

.

.

.

Hammer time!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConfidentDuck1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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Hammer time!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bondmemebond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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β€œI need some nails and a hammer”-fiancΓ©

β€˜I have 10 nails but I’d rather not hit them with a hammer.’ -me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nightowl024
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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What do you call a bearded man holding a Hammer and a Sickle

A Bolsheviking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daxx_banjar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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My son just played "Don't Break The Ice" by himself with two hammers and exclaimed "I won!"

To which I replied "but on the other hand, you lost"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/badenglishihave
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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Meet my new friend - hammer.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miks0nGraWGry
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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I was helping my dad with construction he told me to get the hammer but I accidentally gave him the drill

He said I could have nailed it, but I screwed up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhoIsPharoah17
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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What do you call a hammer bought in april 1st?

April tool

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πŸ‘€︎ u/9874123456
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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What do you get when you cross a cookie and a hammer?

Cookie crumbs!!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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Hit the hammer that judges have and says β€œworm court is in session”. Then says

β€œAll writhe”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Babyblu4321
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Have you ever been in MC Hammer's house?

It's horrible, you can't touch anything

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kortbug2000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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This hammerhead shark made of hammer heads.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reddituser_373
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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Why the did hammer hit the nail through the wall.

To drive the point across.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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Why did the hammer feel bad?

Because he hit his head.

(From my 5yr old daughter; I’m so proud)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElricGreywolf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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A ribeye looks over at the spiky hammer, and asks the cube steak, "What's that?"

Cube steak: beats me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nutbagger18
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Home Depot wouldn't let me buy a hammer in store.

They said they have to mallet to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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If thor throws his hammer a long distance,

Does that make it Mjol-far?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toasterwaffle90
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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How fast did thors hammer get destroyed?

Hela fast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarchmallowMax
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
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Chain Saw and Hammer Drill imgur.com/rUlPQDT
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jambronia
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2017
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I was trying to hammer down a loose board at the cottage...

I'm not much of a craftsman but my fiancΓ© says I nailed it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain-Americano
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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A 16oz hammer is a pounder.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drunk98
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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I just bought this cool electronic hammer.

I guess you could call it a battery ram.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mc-Breezy-Butt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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Did you hear about the hammer's performance at work?

He nailed it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cfunman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Had an argument with my wife earlier. We were fighting hammer and tong...

She won, She had the hammer.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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My Dad says I hammer like lightning!

I never strike in the same place twice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dimick1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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The Jack hammer was a ground breaking invention.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vodka_twinkie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2017
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What happened when the Norse God of Thunder dropped his hammer on his hand?

He had a Thor Thumb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
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A hammer.

Does that ring a bell?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BingSerious
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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