A hammerhead shark made from hammer heads
Once i told a hammer joke
What happens to the files in my Dell laptop when I smash it with a hammer?
This guy with a hammer kept screaming like it was an emergency...
This is not a drill! This is not a drill! STOP!
“I need some nails and a hammer”-fiancé
‘I have 10 nails but I’d rather not hit them with a hammer.’ -me
I never like going over to MC Hammers house
He never lets me touch anything
My son just played "Don't Break The Ice" by himself with two hammers and exclaimed "I won!"
To which I replied "but on the other hand, you lost"
What do you call a bearded man holding a Hammer and a Sickle
What do you call a hammer bought in april 1st?
What do you get when you cross a cookie and a hammer?
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
I was helping my dad with construction he told me to get the hammer but I accidentally gave him the drill
He said I could have nailed it, but I screwed up
Why the did hammer hit the nail through the wall.
To drive the point across.
Meet my new friend - hammer.
A ribeye looks over at the spiky hammer, and asks the cube steak, "What's that?"
Why doesn't Thor keep his hammer by his chest?
Because that's where his thorax is.
Have you ever been in MC Hammer's house?
It's horrible, you can't touch anything
This hammerhead shark made of hammer heads.
Why did the hammer feel bad?
Because he hit his head.
(From my 5yr old daughter; I’m so proud)
If thor throws his hammer a long distance,
Does that make it Mjol-far?
Home Depot wouldn't let me buy a hammer in store.
They said they have to mallet to me.
Me: "Dad, why are you banging a hammer on the rib roast?"
Dad: "Just fixing dinner."
How fast did thors hammer get destroyed?
I was trying to hammer down a loose board at the cottage...
I'm not much of a craftsman but my fiancé says I nailed it.
A 16oz hammer is a pounder.
I just bought this cool electronic hammer.
I guess you could call it a battery ram.
Had an argument with my wife earlier. We were fighting hammer and tong...
She won, She had the hammer.
Did you hear about the hammer's performance at work?
My Dad says I hammer like lightning!
I never strike in the same place twice.
What did the hammer say after hanging up the poster
I hate watching hammer throw.
Just a bunch of people throwing their weight around.
What happened when the Norse God of Thunder dropped his hammer on his hand?
I spent fifteen minutes trying to teach my daughter how to hit a nail with a hammer today.
But in the end she just got board with it.
The Jack hammer was a ground breaking invention.
My son was having trouble figuring out how to use a hammer and nails.
My wife encourages me to have a lot of hammers...
We're in a poly-hammerous relationship
A blind man picked up a hammer and saw.
Miley Cyrus licks a hammer and everyone loves it but
I do it and get kicked out of the hardware shop ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
How do they figure out the price of a hammer?
So, after shopping for a hammer this weekend...
I'm curious if they are priced by the pound.
Why did the piece of wood break up with the hammer?
Because he was nailing other boards.
"Oh I see," said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.
My grandfather's favorite dad joke.
Did you hear MC Hammer has a new album of George Gerswhin covers?
After I had bent three nails in a row with my hammer...
Why did Thor hit a sick man with his hammer?
He was trying to norse him back to health.
What did Jesus Christ say when he hit his thumb with a hammer?
Did you hear about the blind guy who picked up a hammer and saw?
I heard Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer were making a sequel movie
The Loan Ranger: Collecting Interest
What's the difference between a ladder and a hammer? --You can't climb the latter.
My dad dropped the hammer
My dad, who is Indian, lives in a small college town with a small community of modest, nerdy Indians.
Enter the one fashionista who shows up at a get together sporting a DKNY shirt. My dad walks up, seemingly completely ignorant, and loudly asks, "WHAT IS THIS DONKEY SHIRT?"
Fashionista cried. I died.
Why did the wall trust the hammer?
The wall knew that hammer always nailed it.
Why would MC Hammer be a good employee at a museum?
Don't touch that!
One of my dads.
Did you hear about the guy who vandalized a park bench with a hammer?
It was an act of mallets.
Today my father hit his thumb with a hammer while holding a nail. He asked me how he could have avoided it.
He answered "just hold the hammer with two hands instead"
I never had MC Hammer's pants...
...because I can't touch this.
"I see" said the blind carpenter, as he picked up his hammer and saw.
These go on for days all based on similar puns