A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
What's the difference between curing bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment, the other requires oinkment
When the doctor told me that there was a cure for dyslexia,
What happens, when a doctor catches a disease, that he already found the cure for?
He gets a taste of his own medicine.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called '1001 cures for itches."
I guess, I've got to start again from scratch.
After many years of therapy, my psychologist has finally cured me of the desire to sit in the corner in public and blow on people that walk by! But now I have the urge to wear teen idol t-shirts and lean against the wall...
Long time fan, first time poster.
I invented the cure for Covid, it's made of my own breed of coffee.
I call it the Mcafee antivirus
My daughter invented a writing instrument that never runs out of ink, never smudges and cures any other difficulties associated with writing...
What do you call the time period between the Bronze and Iron Ages where humans learned to cure meat?
I made a medicine using ducks that can cure cancer...
I used to be blind but I cured it. My wife was the first person I saw
It was love at first sight.
A coworker of mine told me that eating fertilizer cured him of COVID-19
but i bet he was just full of crap.
How do you make a cured ham?
Well first you find a pig with the sniffles...
Instead of medicine, my hippie girlfriend cured her hemorrhoid using only the "power of positive suggestion."
They developed a cure for my vampirism AND my blindness!
Never thought I'd see the day.
A blind man asked a doctor if there was a way to cure his blindness
The doctor said eat plenty of sea salt.
This one will give you a headache. Or Cure it.
Did you hear how the mathematician cured his constipation?
He worked it out with a number two pencil.
How did the doctors cure the invisible man?
They took him to the ICU.
I have found the cure for blindness!
Has anyone heard that joke that seemingly cures Covid-19?
I havent yet, but I heard its a riot
If Mustard cured constipation .....
They'd have to spell it different.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.
Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis
Did you guys hear about the deli at the medical research clinic?
I guess they successfully cured cancer.
My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin, to draw out excess moisture....
I’ve dedicated my whole life to finding a cure for insomnia.
I won’t rest until I find it.
When you're driving but can't see that well...
Pretty much the first dad joke I've ever seen that requires a video punchline.
https://i.imgur.com/pfZya7P.gifv
Originally posted to /r/IdiotsInCars/ by /u/My_Memes_Will_Cure_U
So I walk into the pharmacy, and ask for a coronovirus cure.
Them: Ammonia cleaner?
Me: oh sorry I thought you were the pharmacist.
I used to have erectile dysfunction
I created a vaccine for apathy,
unfortunately no one seems interested.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called '1,001 cures for itches.'
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I lost my notes I was writing for my book called "1,001 ways to cure an itch."
Guess I'll have to start from scratch.
I’ve dedicated my whole life to finding a cure for insomnia.
I won’t rest until I find it.
I will not rest until I find the cure ..
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