It’s been a week now and she’s still not talking to me.
Chemist says, "Sure, that'll be 95 cents!"
Duck: "Put it on my bill please."
But I couldn't complain
She still isn’t talking to me
PS. This is a cross post from r/ShittyLifeProTips
Me: 'Aww, are your lovely lips feelin' like cowboy hips?'
her: '...What?'
Me: '.... Chapped?'
And asks the cashier to put it on his bill
Women really know how to hold a grudge. My wife asked me to pass her a lip balm. And by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue. It’s been a month now and she’s still not speaking to me!
need upvotes pls
"I have a balm!"
Dad: because it’s the balm!
The balm.
Edit: My wife's response:
"God you're such a dork."
Tonight my family goes out for Chinese. Its winter. My mom drops lip-balm mid-use and cannot find it. "Can anyone see my chapstick?" she asks. "You can use mine!" says dad with a shit-eating grin on his face and a chopstick in his hand.
Me: I had a little time to kill before my meeting, so I picked up a couple lip balms since I'm running out.
Him: Your lips are going to explode if you keep putting all these bombs on them!
So my daughter is sick and has been taking antibiotics for the past week. These antibiotics cause some unwanted side effects (unholy diarrhea) that require us to put a paste on her butt that keeps it from getting chapped. This lead to the following brief exchange between my wife and I:
(While she was changing an explosive diaper)
Her: Have you seen the butt balm?
Me: Yeah, it's right there in her diaper...
You are the balm!
She is still not speaking to me.
She’s still not talking to me.
It's been a week now and she's still not talking to me.
I have her super glue by mistake. She’s still not talking to me!
She's still not talking to me...
It's been a week and she's still not talking to me
