How about this? A potion that gives the drinker Tourettes.

A profanity philter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pyranders
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Eye of Newt, of witch potion lore, is...

nothing more than mustard seed emulsified with oil. So mustard could actually be called newt butter. Or, for those who have their doubts... I Can’t Believe It’s Newt Butter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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How does the male pedophile witch make potions?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zylrilla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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What do you call a potion that turns you into a cat?

Cat-a-tonic!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tbonethehero
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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Poor little bunny

A doctor is driving home one night along a lonely road when a rabbit suddenly bolted in front of his car. The doctor swerved and tried his best to stop, but it wasn't possible and the car hit the bunny.

He immediately pulled the car to the side of the road and got out to see if he could help the poor bunny. It didn't look good. He raced back to the car to retrieve his bag, but realized almost instantly that he was driving his wife's car and so his bag wouldn't be there.

He frantically rooted through the glovebox, trying to find gauze or water - anything that could be useful. He found a bottle of what he expected was water and brought it back to where the bunny was laying. With great care, he poured a cap full and let the bunny drink.

To the doctor's amazement, the rabbit sprang back to life - jumping up on his hind legs and wiggling his tail. He smiled at the doctor and waved as he began to prance back toward the woods. He hopped a couple of feet, paused, turned and waved again. Hopped another few feet, turned and waved yet again. He reached the edge of the trees and again, he turned and waved at the doctor.

Stunned, the doctor brought the bottle up to the light to see what magic potion he had discovered. Squinting his eyes, he read the label aloud, "Hair restorer with permanent wave".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Variations on Cake by the Ocean

Having dessert in Professor Snape's class? That's
Cake by the potion

Having dessert while moisturizing your skin?
Cake by the lotion

Having dessert in limine?
Cake by the motion (mine)

Having dessert along with kinetic force?
Cake by the motion (my daughter)

Having dessert while dividing it?
Cake by the quotient

Having dessert while you blow things up?
Cake by the explosion

Having dessert while you come up with an idea?
Cake by the notion

Having dessert while watching chaos?
Cake by the commotion

Having dessert next to someone who is getting a new job? Hopefully it's
Cake by the promotion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dedtired
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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I was alone in the desert, hungry, and couldn't think of any puns...

.. then I met this magical pig, and she gave me a potion to make me funnier.

Best ham sand witch ever.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrankyBiker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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/u/7SevenEleven11 pulls a classic [X-post /r/mindcrack]

/u/BananaPotion

>I'm what language and framework did you make this op?

/u/7SevenEleven11

> Hello What Language and Framework, The op did make this.

Thread in question

Congrats to /u/7SevenEleven11 for becoming a father!

<>{

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ichthus95
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2013
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Eye of Newt, of witch potion lore, is actually...

nothing more than good, old-fashioned ground mustard seed emulsified in oil. This means mustard could actually be called newt butter. Or, for those who have their doubts... I can’t believe it’s newt butter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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