I need to start a witch themed spicy steak sauce company.

Our slogan would be, β€œThe only acceptable way to be burned at the steak.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
Made my friend draw me a ham sand witch!

https://preview.redd.it/spig22o65o651.png?width=830&format=png&auto=webp&s=58d660e5243952036705bbb43d4c37ceec0bb61f

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theneatdude2004
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the one about the illiterate witch?

She can't spell.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kikasphalt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
🚨︎ report
I have a friend who is obsessed with the Scarlett Witch, Captain Marvel, and Black Widow.

I guess you can say he's a heroine addict.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drogers5606
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drsmba729
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
🚨︎ report
What is a witch's favourite TV show?

Game of Crones.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Abcd4321__
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
What sound does a witch's car make?

"Broom Broom!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirAnalog
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
Which Witch is a Sandwich
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gingernuts13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do witch doctors never get fat?

Because they’re always exorcising.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sheglet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?

I’m smelting!!

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
What do you call a witch that only eats sand?

malnourished

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RobertHamburgers
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My 7 yr old son came up with this today. How do you make a witch itch?

Take away the w.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fuhurina
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?

She looked really good afterworts

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redrickfloats
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Man-witch
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hfuga
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
witch one is it?
πŸ‘︎ 188
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amrha
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t Mr. and Mrs. Witch have babies?

Mr. Witch had a hollow weenie.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ecmm
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Escape to Witch Mountain

That mountain

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MovieGuyMike
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What subject does a witch teach at school?

Spelling

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fransisco_flores
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?

A sandwich...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LaxinPhilly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
what kind of mail does a witch carry her broom?

hex-press mail

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/easiermarais
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a witch do in school?

Focus focus.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pdxp2b
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witches wrist.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Boom223
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm a primary school teacher and one of my kids got me in the lols with this one today... what's a witch's favorite subject?

Spelling

πŸ‘︎ 125
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a witch's favorite dessert?

An ice cream crone!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad asked me why there was a lion and a witch in the wardrobe?

I said its Narnia business

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Poely002
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What's an ice witch's favorite tool?

A cold-ron.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zachalope64
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a DJing Witch?

A wicky wicky waa waa wiccan.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why doesn't the witch want to go to the beach?

Because she's afraid she might turn into a sandwich.

Told by my 5 yo. Said he thought of it himself. I'm a proud granddad.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/austozi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw this witch picking her feet.

I got to thinking,that must be where candy corn comes from.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
When I saw the witch...

I knew trouble was brewing.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orbin8mysoul
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a witch on the beach...

A sandwich

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HaHa6798
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What sound does a witch's vehicle make?

Broom

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Distasion
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A witch is about to boil me alive.

I'm in hot water.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CoruscareGames
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Once upon a time an evil witch decided to curse a young prince into a bear. The cursed prince sought help from a good wizard, but he refused. Why?

The prince was unbearable.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Keksyz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do Scarlet witch and Daredevil have in common?

They lost their vision.

πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shinj1-_-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Why couldnt the warlock get the witch pregnant?

Because he had a halloweenie

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tvissey
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a witch who rides dune buggies?

A sand-witch.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cjjsteen3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My dermatologist had a witch come in the other day,

He said she had a really bad case of hexima.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redknotsociety
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Hansel and Gretel were both quite ill before they met the witch.

They had Munch housen syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wimple007
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What sound does the car of a witch make?

Broom Broom

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iAmAnFagit
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What do a lion, a witch, and a wardrobe have in common?

Narnia business.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kipperAVL
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2015
🚨︎ report
I thought of this Halloween joke today: what's a witch's favorite kind of bar?

A brewery.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/imamidget
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Maybe this will be better appreciated here... Two witches were arguing about who was the better witch reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SakuOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked "Daddy will you be a man witch for Halloween?"

Our 5 year old was a witch for Halloween and asked dad to be a "man witch" to match her costume. And so begins the dad joke costume: https://i.imgur.com/1qLrHEE.jpg

(I posted this on the Halloween contest in r/pics and was told to share it here.)

πŸ‘︎ 129
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SquirrelNinja3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2017
🚨︎ report
What is the tastiest kind of witch?

A sandwich............

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the witch have any children?

Because her husband had a halloweeny.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mikemclovin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call transactions made between a lion a witch and a wardrobe that are none of your concern?

Narnia business!

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Souldrax
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Ox that got mad when a witch turned him into a Fox?

He felt he got effed.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LYKAF0XX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2013
🚨︎ report
For World Book Day, I dressed as a wardrobe. People asked me why I didnt dress as a lion or witch...

I've never seen them feature in the IKEA catalogue.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sigurkarm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
🚨︎ report
What does a witch use to do math?

A cackle-ator.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Chowder-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Who is the sister of the Sea Witch?

The Sandwich

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seaweed_is_cool
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2015
🚨︎ report
Lets try it without the witch.
πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mjsmiley
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2014
🚨︎ report
Knock knock, Who's there?, Witch doctor, Witch doctor who?

Tom Baker.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2017
🚨︎ report
How did the witch-doctor label his voodoo dolls?

With a Black-Magic marker.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stuewe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2016
🚨︎ report
In Salem, MA doing a Witch Tour and Dad pulls this one...

Guide: I love questions, so at any point on the tour feel free to ask!

Me: Witches are part of the Wicca religion, correct? (Having little knowledge of it)

Dad: Don't ask the guide, look it up on....wiccapedia. Get it?

Tour guide laughs and I facepalm.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2013
🚨︎ report
What's your favorite witch?

I actually said this to my daughter (she's 3 and a half):

me: "hey, what's your favorite witch?"

her: "hmmm, Ursala the Sea Witch!"

me: "mine's a sandwich!"

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/steve626
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2013
🚨︎ report
What sound does a witch's car make ?

Broom Broom !

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

πŸ‘︎ 200
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/f1sht1tt13s
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a witch who eats only sand?

Malnourished.

πŸ‘︎ 190
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AYKW
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a witch who only eats sand?

Malnourished

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AVeryLONGPotato
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report

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