By applying a liberal amount.
Johnson & Johnson.
It really gets under my skin.
I said 'No, thank you' and then looked down at my daughter and said 'Can you believe she thought I'd trade you away for just a tiny bit of lotion? I'd need a whole bottle, at least!'
She thought that was pretty funny.
So they dont get ashy.
It was a scentless act of cruelty.
Cashier: "Will this be all for you?"
Dad: "No, this is a gift for my daughter"
But I think it might be too topical
I actually pulled this one off two days ago in history (not even a dad):
Girl next to me: I can't even talk talk to you, just crack me up
Me: Well I can get you some lotion.
It took her a full 2 seconds to get it and started laughing so much, and to boost my ego even more the teacher had heard it and started laughing too, and that's how I got my 5 seconds of fame. I know, not the best but I just wanted to share
is really the cream of the crop.
Roommate: what are you doing?
Me: money laundering.
My girlfriend was trying some lotion out and apparently it's all nice and smooth and organic and erotic.
"Honey, it's like it's not even lotion!"
"Wow, you're right. It must be odd lotion."