Why do they put lotion in tissues?

To soften the blow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_SHIT_A_BRICK
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
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Yknow what lotion I use when I masturbate?

Jerkins

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SummerDearest
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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Here’s my best advice for getting a job in the lotion industry:

Apply daily.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laymans_Terms19
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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How does a democrat apply lotion?

By applying a liberal amount.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLonelyKerbal
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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What brand of lotion would someone born with diphallia use?

Johnson & Johnson.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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I do not like lotion at all.

It really gets under my skin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spiffypack
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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Walking through the mall with my 9 yr old and a kiosk saleswoman waves a sample of lotion and asks 'A gift for your daughter?'

I said 'No, thank you' and then looked down at my daughter and said 'Can you believe she thought I'd trade you away for just a tiny bit of lotion? I'd need a whole bottle, at least!'

She thought that was pretty funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nocatsonmelmac
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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Cake by the... Lotion...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MissGrafin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2017
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Why do volcanoes need lotion?

So they dont get ashy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shaunthebald
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
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Why does Peter Parker need lotion?

He's ashy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/errsta
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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Someone stole my fragrance-free lotion...

It was a scentless act of cruelty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/l3mm1ng5
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2016
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So we bought my sister some bath lotions

Cashier: "Will this be all for you?"

Dad: "No, this is a gift for my daughter"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scubamane
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2016
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I was going to post a joke about lotion

But I think it might be too topical

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sasquatchent
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2015
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Want some lotion?

I actually pulled this one off two days ago in history (not even a dad):

Girl next to me: I can't even talk talk to you, just crack me up

Me: Well I can get you some lotion.

It took her a full 2 seconds to get it and started laughing so much, and to boost my ego even more the teacher had heard it and started laughing too, and that's how I got my 5 seconds of fame. I know, not the best but I just wanted to share

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πŸ‘€︎ u/muffinscat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2015
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I guess you could say the most popular hand lotion for farmers...

is really the cream of the crop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2076baseballbat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2017
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I had spilled lotion on some coins and was rinsing them off...

Roommate: what are you doing?

Me: money laundering.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elyezabeth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
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Lotions.

My girlfriend was trying some lotion out and apparently it's all nice and smooth and organic and erotic.

"Honey, it's like it's not even lotion!"

"Wow, you're right. It must be odd lotion."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toke81
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2014
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The best way to get a job in the lotion industry

Is to apply daily

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flubba_T_Waffle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2018
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