Scientists developed a male birth control gel but it only targets the X/Y chromosome

Theyre calling it "Son-Block"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Bastards.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YDAQ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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Someone put LSD in my hair gel

My hair has been spiked

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3ltaforc3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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The guests in this hotel are always stealing all the soaps, shower gels and shampoos from their rooms...

Dirty bastards!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoliH-Entai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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Your friends when you get gel acrylics and they don’t
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheyennne_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2018
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I saw some shower gel in the supermarket.

I thought, "How pointless is that? Showers don't even have hair."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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We were burgled today, they stole the soap, shower gel and shampoo

The cops think it was a robber ducky

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/this_chucklehead
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2017
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Doctor told me my insurance doesn't cover Viagra, but he can prescribe me the generic.....

Mycoxafloppin

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πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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A guy walked into my shop.

"I'm looking for quite a big tub of hand gel," he said.

"Here's one," I showed him, "this is 250ml."

He said, "Wow, that's far too expensive."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?

Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/totally80s
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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Stolen from a friends Facebook post

OK... so did you ever notice how every time you spend 4 days alone in the woods and you make it out without a scratch or even a mosquito bite, and you're feeling all peaceful and relaxed and at one with the universe, you're not home 20 minutes and unloading the back of your truck when you slam your right shin into the trailer hitch... and amid the flashing white stars around you, your fists clench, your teeth grit, your body tenses and every "mean, nasty and ugly" word you ever read, heard, uttered or even imagined ("Wait... is #*&%#@!!! even a word??? Oh what the heck? It works!") goes tearing through your brain.... and eventually it passes and you keep working, surprised you're not even limping and it doesn't hurt more than it does... and almost an hour later, when you're finished and getting undressed to take your first hot shower in days, you see a lump on your shin the size of Rhode Island... and the first image that pops into your head is John Merrick yelling "I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!... in fact, it literally looks like a second knee on your right leg... so you spend the rest of the evening keeping it elevated and icing it on and off, alternating between a blue gel pack and a bag of frozen peas.... and when you go to bed, you keep the gel pack on while you read and then take it off before you go to sleep... and then you wake up around 3AM and decide to check your shin and the swelling has gone down quite a bit... but since you still have several hours before you get up, you decide to ice it again... but the gel pack on the floor is no longer cold so you get up, walk to the kitchen and open the fridge... and after taking a bite of leftover pizza from last night (because... well, you're here and what the heck?), you go into the freezer, grab the bag of frozen peas and take them back to bed with you... but they're all frozen into one big solid ball and well, that won't do... so you lay the bag on the bed to pound it once or twice to break them up, but instead the bag bursts open and suddenly there are frozen peas sprayed all over the bed and rolling onto the floor... and all those words from yesterday come rushing back into your head as you kneel to gather them all up... but suddenly your anger completely vanishes and you can't help laughing to yourself as you think, "gee, I can't remember the last time I pea'd the bed in the middle of the night"???

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Markwittz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2017
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What's a dot?

An asterisk with hair gel.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NutsEverywhere
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2016
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Post Grocery Shopping Dadjoke

My dad literally just came out with this one. Mum and dad have just come back from shopping, and my brother had asked for shaving foam/gel. So mum says "I forgot to get you any mousse." And dad comes out with "She got you a musk ox instead." Groans were definitely heard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/izzylovesian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2015
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I told my girlfriend that I will let her know what she can do with her hair, she asked "Who are you the hair police?"

I answered, "I'll put you in hair gel."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sungawd
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2014
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My dad asked me about my new manicure....

I explained to him that they set the gel polish with a UV light.

He replied "How do they get it off? ..... With a VU light? snicker"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/constancer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2014
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Star War-sy mood...

Help me, bottle of shower gel... You're my only soap...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tehhobear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2013
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Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Bastards.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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