Ointment Puns

A list of puns related to "Ointment"

“I’d like to prescribe you a topical ointment for your skin irritation,” my doctor said.

“Woah, woah, doc,” I said, “Let’s not make any rash decisions.”

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👤︎ u/whomikehidden
📅︎ Jan 20 2020
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I just spent hundreds of dollars online buying expensive ointments for my skin condition.

That was a rash decision.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Aug 02 2019
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I've been using an ointment recently.

Let that soak in for a minute.

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👤︎ u/ErwtEnBernie
📅︎ Aug 17 2019
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My doctor prescribed me ointment for my impulsiveness.

He said it would help with my rash decisions.

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👤︎ u/TraditionSmashed
📅︎ Jun 10 2019
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My daughter has a fungal rash on her cheek, so my wife calls her a mushroom when applying the ointment.

I tell my daughter, “It’s ok, I’m a fungi too!”

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👤︎ u/Papa-heph
📅︎ May 17 2019
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If you’re looking for a prefix to extend the word ‘ointment’

There's an app for that

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👤︎ u/Dannnehhh
📅︎ Apr 23 2018
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I tried to come up with a new name for vanishing cream.

But it just resulted in Dissap-ointment.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Jan 10 2021
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What is a pigs favourite medecine

An oinkment.

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👤︎ u/williamd002
📅︎ Jan 29 2018
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What’s the saddest thing you can put on your skin

Disapp-ointment

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👤︎ u/ChocolateSquid5
📅︎ Jun 07 2019
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The doctor prescribed me a new salve, but it didn't work.

I have to say, it was quite the disapp-ointment.

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👤︎ u/BarmixD
📅︎ May 02 2018
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My first dad joke

My wife (changing the diaper): Aquafore? Me: It's a moisturizing ointment for diapers, but that's not important right now.

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👤︎ u/f00f_nyc
📅︎ Dec 25 2014
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