I tried to invent an indestructible piece of paper. It didn't go well...
Spider-Man offered to give me spidey powers to invent new quips for him.
I guess you could call it a quip pro quo.
When the view is so good that you need to invent a new phrase to describe it !
I decided to invent a time machine you wear like a belt
It turned out to be a complete waist of time
Ya hear about the first guy to invent garden shears?
It was cutting-hedge technology.
Dad tried to invent a new lithium-ion battery.
But he failed, because he wasn't Goodenough.
I’m going to invent “alarm clock pants”.
To help everyone who’s legs keep falling asleep!
Why was Thomas Edison able to invent the light bulb?
Because he was very bright
Al Gore really did invent the internet
It's why it uses ALGORithms
I was bored so I decided to invent a new word
It's true! The Clinton Administration's second in command DID invent the internet!
Look at any web page's source and you will see an Al Gore-ithm
Hitler invents a time machine...
It's some time in the second world war and Hitlers top scientists have built a time machine. Eager to use it, but fearing an accident, the fuhrer instead sends one of his henchman forward to 1985, hoping to gain knowledge of the future to use against his enemies.
Much to Hitlers chagrin however, the henchman quickly returns to the present with only a Casio Keyboard in hand. Breathless with excitement, he declares "Mein Fuhrer! With this device we shall wage sonic warfare on our enemies!"... He hits the demo button and the room is filled with sound.
"So... what do you think?" says the henchman.
Hitler, aghast at this otherworldly device says
"You must be mad Schultz! There's no place in this world for a Nazi Synthesizer!"
I have decided that I am going to invent a steam-powered cell phone.
That way, when someone asks me to send a picture, I can tell them that I can't because I have low selfie steam.
What did they call the person to invent denim?
So if he didn't invent the internet...
then why does everything in it run on "Al Gore rhythms"?
The man who invented velcro died today :(
What award should the person get who invented knock knock jokes?
I had a dream that I invented a new color
But when I woke up I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.
I've invented a sandal for one legged people...
I visited the birth place of the guy who invented the toothbrush.
The invention of the wheel was no big deal.
It was the invention of the axel that really got things rolling.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the no-bell prize!
Before crowbars were invented...
Most crows drank at home by themselves.
To the man who invented the door knocker
I hope you win a Nobel prize
The guy who invented the Hokey Pokey died last week.
Turns out they had a lot of trouble putting him in his coffin. Because everytime they put his right leg in, he put his right leg out.
To the guy who invented the number zero:
What invention allows us to see through walls?
Did you hear about the priest who invented a vegetable-based fragrance?
The toothbrush was invented in Arkansas
If it were invented anywhere else, it would be called a “teethbrush”
Who invented the first plane
My Grandmother invented Nair...
Shoutout to the individual who invented orthotics!
If it were up to me, you’d be a shoo-in for the Nobel Peace Prize.
Which knight invented the round table?
The man who invented autocorrect has died
Did you know the Allen key was named after the guy who invented it.
His name was Sir Anthony Key
The person who invented Russian roulette
I just invented a new number puzzle game that is reminiscent of another commonly known game!
The guy who invented throat lozenges just died
There was no "cough-in" at his funeral.
The inventor of the bomb was so amazed by his invention...
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke
Should get a 'No-bel' prize
What was the world’s first groundbreaking invention?
Who invented the word invention?
I sometimes wish I had invented the shovel
It was a real groundbreaking invention
I've invented a new golf ball that will automatically go into the hole if it gets within 4 inches...
DO NOT carry them in your back pocket.
I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent....
It goes without saying...
I invented a way to communicate in dots and dashes to Norwegians...
I invented a new word today
William Otis showed his son his evolutionary invention.
He said, "Son, this is a ground breaking creation."
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
I still believe Bill Clinton's Vice President invented the internet
Why else would we use Al-Gore-Rhythms?
Before crowbars were invented
^(most crows drank at home by themselves.)
The guy who invented Velcro died this morning
Who ever invented "Knock - Knock" jokes.
Should get a No-Bell prize.
😅🤣😎✌.
Before crowbars were invented...
...most crows drank at home by themselves.
What did they say to the guy they invented the number 0?
My Grandmother invented Nair...
Before they invented crowbars
Most crows just drank at home
Did you hear about the guy that invented the knock knock joke?
He just won the NOBELL prize
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