So I used to have an interest in coloring fabrics, but I decided to make puns instead.
Basically, if I couldn't make puns, I'd dye.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
Please vote here: When a prince ties fabric around his neck, is it a scarf, cravat or an ascot?
Voting has ended. It's a tie.
π︎ 70
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︎ Jul 16 2020
My wife has been online this week, buying lots of black and white fabric.
I do hope she doesnβt make a habit of it
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︎ Jul 08 2020
My friend is inventing breakthrough upholstery fabric that can self-mend rips and tears. When I asked how he's progressing, he replied....
π︎ 10
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︎ Aug 01 2020
I want to tell a joke about fabric...
But Iβm out of material.
π︎ 25
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︎ Aug 07 2020
βDad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?β
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jul 17 2019
Man shot 200 times with upholstery gun.
Surgeons revealed he is now 'fully recovered'.
π︎ 35
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︎ Dec 09 2020
My Dad has always been a Fabrication head at a lift company and my mum is a retired nurse..
According to him, their first date was "A Casual tea"..
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 13 2020
What do you call evil fabric? Satin
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 20 2020
Are underpants with a 3.14 mm wide crotch fabric called
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 14 2020
What type of fabric softener does iron man use ?
π︎ 52
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︎ Aug 15 2019
I lost a court case against a fabric softener
I fought Lenor and Lenor won!
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 21 2019
A monastery decided to liven up their old clothes by tie-dying them, but the fabric became stiff and uncomfortable. When the Abbott asked a sister to explain, she gave a simple reply:
π︎ 13
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︎ Oct 22 2019
Have you heard the joke about the gold metalic woven fabric?
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 23 2019
I got a build a bear with too little fabric and tried to build it.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 03 2019
Why wasn't the fabric softener doing so great?
It was feeling rather Downy.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 13 2019
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas.
Everything I touch becomes felt.
π︎ 25
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︎ Oct 07 2019
What do you call awesome guys named Richard?
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 16 2020
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 18 2019
I just have a preference for certain fabrics.
Nothing you say will dissuede me!
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 26 2019
Wife: βshould we get the hypoallergenic fabric softener?β
Me: βno the regular stuff is fine weβre only a littleallergenicβ
π︎ 6
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︎ Aug 02 2019
I strongly considered joining the muslin faith until I realized the entire thing was a fabrication.
π︎ 377
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︎ Dec 22 2017
What's Jaw's favorite fabric?
Denim.....denim...denim..denim.denim
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 11 2019
Wanna know why I started trying out fabric arts and crafts?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 29 2019
Fabric shops are materialistic.
π︎ 15
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︎ Aug 31 2018
Why did the comedian go to JoAnn Fabrics?
He wanted to get some new material.
π︎ 21
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︎ Jul 03 2018
The Fabric of Our Lives
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 01 2018
What do you call a helicopter made of old fabric?
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 23 2019
Did you hear about the new fabric that can send text messages?
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 17 2019
Used a fabric softener bottle to spread rock salt on the driveway, had to label it properly
π︎ 89
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︎ Feb 18 2015
What kind of fabric makes you procrastinate?
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 26 2019
Is that felt? *Obviously cotton fabric*
Son responds, "No."
*Touches said fabric* - "It is now!"
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 27 2019
What do you call a psychic fabric?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 18 2019
Iβve heard southern comfort is nice,
Because normal comfort just tastes like fabric softener!
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 23 2020
What happens to the fabric when it reaches consciousness?
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 28 2018
I dropped my wife's epilepsy medicine in the washing machine instead of fabric softener....
Now her clothes don't fit.
π︎ 8
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︎ Aug 31 2018
What Beatle is entirely made out of fabric?
π︎ 8
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︎ Aug 18 2018
I ran out of fabric softener today.
It's going to be a rough week.
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 22 2018
My friend lied when he said he didnβt make an entire book out of cloth.
His story was completely fabricated.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 08 2020
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas.
Everything I touch becomes felt.
π︎ 189
π
︎ Mar 08 2018
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas
Everything I touch becomes felt
π︎ 435
π
︎ Jan 15 2017
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas
Everything I touch becomes felt
π︎ 71
π
︎ May 17 2018
βDad, why did you wrap my birthday gift with this weird fabric?β
βI wanted my presents felt.β
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 08 2018
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