I spent most of the weekend fastening pieces of fabric together for an upcoming project.
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︎ Jan 11 2021
So I used to have an interest in coloring fabrics, but I decided to make puns instead.
Basically, if I couldn't make puns, I'd dye.
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Please vote here: When a prince ties fabric around his neck, is it a scarf, cravat or an ascot?
Voting has ended. It's a tie.
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︎ Jul 16 2020
My wife has been online this week, buying lots of black and white fabric.
I do hope she doesnβt make a habit of it
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︎ Jul 08 2020
My friend is inventing breakthrough upholstery fabric that can self-mend rips and tears. When I asked how he's progressing, he replied....
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︎ Aug 01 2020
I want to tell a joke about fabric...
But Iβm out of material.
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︎ Aug 07 2020
βDad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?β
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
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︎ Jul 17 2019
8 y/o, "Dad, what does the space needle sew?"
Me, "I dunno, what?"
Her, "The fabric of space time!"
She told me that while we were watching the new years show at the space needle lol.
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︎ Jan 13 2021
What do you call evil fabric? Satin
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︎ Apr 20 2020
Someone questioned the piece of cloth and fabric covering the lower half of my face
I told them βyouβre masking me something I donβt have the answer to, why not mask someone else?β
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︎ May 28 2020
Man shot 200 times with upholstery gun.
Surgeons revealed he is now 'fully recovered'.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
Are underpants with a 3.14 mm wide crotch fabric called
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︎ Mar 14 2020
What type of fabric softener does iron man use ?
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︎ Aug 15 2019
I lost a court case against a fabric softener
I fought Lenor and Lenor won!
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︎ Nov 21 2019
A monastery decided to liven up their old clothes by tie-dying them, but the fabric became stiff and uncomfortable. When the Abbott asked a sister to explain, she gave a simple reply:
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︎ Oct 22 2019
Have you heard the joke about the gold metalic woven fabric?
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︎ Dec 23 2019
I got a build a bear with too little fabric and tried to build it.
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︎ Dec 03 2019
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas.
Everything I touch becomes felt.
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︎ Oct 07 2019
Why wasn't the fabric softener doing so great?
It was feeling rather Downy.
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︎ Dec 13 2019
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︎ Jul 18 2019
I just have a preference for certain fabrics.
Nothing you say will dissuede me!
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︎ Jan 26 2019
I strongly considered joining the muslin faith until I realized the entire thing was a fabrication.
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︎ Dec 22 2017
Wife: βshould we get the hypoallergenic fabric softener?β
Me: βno the regular stuff is fine weβre only a littleallergenicβ
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︎ Aug 02 2019
What do you call awesome guys named Richard?
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︎ Nov 16 2020
What's Jaw's favorite fabric?
Denim.....denim...denim..denim.denim
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︎ Jul 11 2019
Wanna know why I started trying out fabric arts and crafts?
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︎ Jul 29 2019
Fabric shops are materialistic.
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︎ Aug 31 2018
Why did the comedian go to JoAnn Fabrics?
He wanted to get some new material.
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︎ Jul 03 2018
The Fabric of Our Lives
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︎ Nov 01 2018
What do you call a helicopter made of old fabric?
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︎ Mar 23 2019
Used a fabric softener bottle to spread rock salt on the driveway, had to label it properly
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︎ Feb 18 2015
Did you hear about the new fabric that can send text messages?
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︎ Apr 17 2019
What kind of fabric makes you procrastinate?
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︎ Jan 26 2019
Is that felt? *Obviously cotton fabric*
Son responds, "No."
*Touches said fabric* - "It is now!"
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︎ Mar 27 2019
What do you call a psychic fabric?
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︎ Mar 18 2019
What happens to the fabric when it reaches consciousness?
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︎ Oct 28 2018
I dropped my wife's epilepsy medicine in the washing machine instead of fabric softener....
Now her clothes don't fit.
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︎ Aug 31 2018
What Beatle is entirely made out of fabric?
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︎ Aug 18 2018
I ran out of fabric softener today.
It's going to be a rough week.
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︎ Oct 22 2018
What's the most emotional fabric?
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︎ Jun 04 2017
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas.
Everything I touch becomes felt.
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︎ Mar 08 2018
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas
Everything I touch becomes felt
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︎ Jan 15 2017
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas
Everything I touch becomes felt
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︎ May 17 2018
βDad, why did you wrap my birthday gift with this weird fabric?β
βI wanted my presents felt.β
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︎ Aug 08 2018
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