What cell service provider do track stars use?

Sprint

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πŸ‘€︎ u/funnydeadpool
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
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What's the name of the largest cell service provider for alien life forms?

ET&T

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Youwantfuckame
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
What was the cell phone provider's baby's first word ?

DA TA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
Eddy Grant has started a very profitable energy provider for homes

Have you seen his Electric Revenue?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the phone provider where you can order hot drinks?

Tea-mobile

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Syabero
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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Kid: "Dad! Who's our internet service provider?"

Dad: "I am."

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2015
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Talking about cellphone providers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/falcorbeam
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2013
🚨︎ report
My cell phone provider announced that they were going to provide me with unlimited data, then they texted me this...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NiacTD
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2017
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I'm the sole provider for my family...

They can buy the rest of the shoes themselves for all I care...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
🚨︎ report
Internet provider: Century Slink i.reddituploads.com/32336…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Delision
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2016
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Why did the dead man see his primary health care provider?

He was coffin.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2016
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Do you know what is used to provide vision at night at school playgrounds?

Recessed lighting!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fortune teller that provides his services for free?

A not-for-prophet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesabermaniac
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
Thank you God for providing me and my family with these instant noodles for supper.

Ramen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiscoPotato69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
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I'm thinking about starting a company to provide Wi-Fi in public swimming areas.

I'm going to call it IP in Pools

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
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This quarantine has provided me the perfect opportunity to start a yacht making company in my attic...

Sails are through the roof!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/void_burglar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
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I didn't think my friend's MacGyver-ed flashlight contraption would work until he provided a detailed description.

It was very illuminating.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
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Scotland has made the decision to provide free sanitary products.

I would have predicted a trial period.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blarty97
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
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Never trust a shoe salesman who doubles as a drug dealer

As a sole provider they'll likely get you something that's laced.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/C0DEWzard
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
He can provide you with fresh prints.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the joke about the cows that provided milk for the Roman Army?

You totally should. It's legion-dairy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alficles
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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A KING WHO PROVIDES FREE ELECTRICITY TO HIS KINGDOM...

IS AN AMPERERER

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSwastik
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
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Our local pet store provides quality puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconPancake84
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
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What do you call a three legged dalmation who provides free internet.

A wireless hop-spot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManChildMusician
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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My friend is a pretty unsuccessful farmer. But he tries a lot to promote his business on social media by providing a new profile picture every 3 months. Unfortunately the picture always seems to have his head or side chopped off a bit.

Another season, another bad crop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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I’m working for a charity that provides support for elderly grapes

My job is in raisin awareness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andi-amo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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These guys provide custom 'pens'
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeFire
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2017
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I was going to provide my local bank with a loan

but they had 0 interest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OverKast78
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire asked: β€œWhat else could the management provide β€” that might have prevented you from leaving?”

I wrote β€œBirth control.”

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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My wife wanted me to be there for her operation to provide "moral support"

I told her she should probably talk to a priest instead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/perry-d-astor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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I own a wind turbine.

It provides me energy and it’s also my biggest fan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
My friend can't pronounce his Rs, so his butler stopped providing him with red wine.

Serves him white.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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My wife needs a cornea transplant, but the waiting list is too long!

We really need a faster wife-eye provider.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
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Being married is like staying at a fancy hotel. My wife provides turn-down service every night.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reten
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2018
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Through the darkest hours you've been there for me, working through my mistakes, and you've always been able to provide me with answers.

I love you Google

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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How do you provide power to the underworld?

Soular energy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stormline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2017
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I might change electric companies soon.

I’m not happy with my current provider.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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After spending 20 years as a Lawyer, Dad finally retired to pursue his dream of providing Dental Care to the needy...

He calls it The Tooth, the Whole Tooth, and Nothing but the Tooth.

So help me Gauze.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cinnamonico
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2017
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Request for pun help.

Hi everyone.

I don't know if this is allowed but I'm running out of ideas. I'm trying to make puns dealing with candies relating to the words "Leadership", "Service", and either "Fellowship" or "friendship". I figured this is the place of experts and hoped you could provide me with a solution. I'm planning on using this for big little reveal in my fraternity.

Thanks again ahead of time!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkecojaj
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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My younger brother just hit me with this one.

providing context cause it caught me off guard which made it more funny.

Bro: If Pinocchio said his nose is about to grow, would it grow or would it not grow?

Me: I don’t know, you’ve created a paradox.

Bro: I created two doctors?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluntcrumb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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My husband is now having our dog dad-joke me

Me, to dog: "It's cold out, I don't want to walk you, just go do your business in the yard."

Husband (providing dog's voice): "I'm not incorporated."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vampilton
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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"Did you ever hear if that movie 'Yesterday' was any good?"

"No, ask me tomorrow."

Courteously provided by my father.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vhure
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
The Bacon Tree

The year is 1541 and the French have just begun colonization in North America. Young Jean-Luc is in his newly crafted home when suddenly his friend Jean-Pierre bursts through his front door. 'Jean Luc!' he exclaims. 'You weel nevar believe! I 'ave 'eard word of a bacon tree!'. Jean-Luc looks confused and scoffs 'Imposseeble! You cannot grow BaycON on a tree!'. 'Come! And I weel show you ze bacon tree!'. So Jean-Luc & Jean-Pierre set off down the river, with Jean-pierre providing direction to the enigmatic 'bacon tree'. Finally, they pulled over onto a small beach that lead to a large forest. 'Stay 'ere and watch ze canoe, and I weel bring ze bacon back from ze bacon tree!' said John-Pierre. Hours go by and John-Pierre hasn't returned. As night falls, and Jean-Luc is about to enter the forest to look for his friend, he hears a rustling in the nearby brush, to which Jean-Pierre stumbles out, bloody and with arrows through his legs and arms. 'Jean-Pierre! What 'appened!!' exclaim

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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I could see his eyes light up as I unknowingly provided the set-up.

Me: banging an ice cube tray on the kitchen counter to get the ice out

Dad: Who's making all that racket?

Me: Me, I'm trying to break the ice

Dad: Why, is nobody talking to you? Ahahaaaaaaa.

Dad goes back to eBay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatering
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2013
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I'm going to start a store that provides rapid clothing alterations

I'll call it "Tailor Swift"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmellsLikeASteak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2015
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Summer festival provided decent setup courtesy of my wife

Her: "I remember hearing last year that the Corn Festival in Sun Prairie is pretty fun, want to go?"

Me: "I'm in but it'd better be aMAIZEing"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/btone911
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2015
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How do cells communicate with each other?

Through their cellular providers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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With the birth of my first less than a month away, I have been practicing all I can at work. This season provides some extra opportunities.

I am a mail clerk at a huge office. I dropped this while delivering boxes today:

Me: (Knock Knock) Hey Karen, I've got something for you. (Hand her a box.)

Karen: OOO What is it?

Me: Its a box.

Karen: Ughh...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THE_BIG_SITT
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2013
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Weather forecast provides the perfect dad joke opportunity

I was checking the weather and the forecast for Sunday said "Potential for significant icing"

Dad: "Chocolate or vanilla?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPrezBama
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
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Dad provides interesting commentary to TV show

I was watching a singing competition on TV (The Voice) with my parents and I noticed that one of the judges had bleached his hair. I turned over to my mom and asked...

Me: "Mom, why did Adam bleach his hair?" Dad: "He had a blonde moment."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alex_morena
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2014
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Need help on Avengers and Medical related pun

doing some last minute marketing, anyone can provide me medical related avengers/marvel pun? no matter how bad it is

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jakka_Jakka
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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Chinese food never fails to provide ammo for dads.

Sitting in the Chinese Restaurant, my dad is reading the broken English menu and says:

Dad: Does this dish come out with Beethoven playing?

Me: What? Why?

Dad: Well it's under 'classical dishes'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matt7259
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2013
🚨︎ report
Google is useless...

Google is useless- I tried searching up lighters, but it just gave me 13,756,072 matches.

Explanation- Matches refers to a substitute for a lighter, but also to the search results that Google provides :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewCarstairs
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Having a home aquarium is a great way to feel better.

It provides you with indoor fins

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A daily pun thread

I propose we start a daily competition.

Each day the winner of the pervious days thread provides the word for the day.

Then you lovely lot will go off into reddit and try make the best pun around that word/phrase you can, and link your best result in that days thread. The comment with the most up votes wins for the day. Only one pun per account per day.

Ill start with a relatively easy one: Pun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/biddlyboing
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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I work on the train and recently a passenger had a horse as a service animal with him.

Being very curious, I then ask "what service does your horse provide?" and the passenger replies "when I fall down it helps me giddy up!".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeachyPenguin93
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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I have felt heavily invested in my wife’s pregnancy ever since she first told me.

After all, I provided the seed money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pikkel_Greenbeard
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My Dad's Favorite Joke

Okay so the animals have been on the ark for thirty days and thirty nights and frankly they are getting bored. So to provide entertainment B-Deck challenges C-Deck to a game of football. They get it all set up and begin play. B-Deck makes some early gains but C-Deck is unstoppable. They have Rhinoceros and once he gets going you cant stop him. Soon the first half is over and the score is 24-7. The second half begins and while in the huddle Rhinoceros looks over at B-Decks defensive line and sees Centipede on their defensive line. "Give me the ball," he says, "There aren't going to be any centipedes in the new world because I'm crushing this one right here and right now" The Center snaps the ball and the quarterback hands it off to Rhinoceros who begins charging down Centipede. Centipede rears up grabs Rhinoceros by the legs and SLAMS him to the deck. Ball pops loose, centipede grabs the ball. He's rushing down the field weaving in and out and TOUCHDOWN!!! The crowd goes wild! C-Deck's

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bobby_849
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
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What is the pyromancer's role in battle?

He is there to provide fire support.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nico_Storch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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Why couldn't the man call a sex hotline?

His provider was Virgin Mobile.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Duskario
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2017
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I called Domino's this afternoon.

"Do you guys provide free home delivery?" I asked.

"Yes sir, we do," said the bloke.

"That's great," I replied, "I would like to have a 2 bedroom apartment."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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How do you lock up a ballerina?

You provide enough evidance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreasyHugs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do mushrooms make great cheerleaders?

Because they provide great morel support.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roo1111
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
🚨︎ report
If /puns were to host a fence building party according to the rules...

(This is more parody/satire than a pun, but I tried to make sure it had puns.)

  1. No more than half the people attending can wear trucker hats.

  2. The fences must be measured and spaced using meters. It doesn't matter if you're putting them in someone's yard.

  3. If you pull up a fence post, you cannot reuse it. In fact, you cannot use recycled posts from other people's yards.

  4. Don't keep up with the Jones'. But if you can't avoid this, make sure you give the Jones' the credit due for coming up with it first.

  5. You can bring lunch as sort of a potluck affair, but do not bring canned meat products from Hormel.

  6. If you bring a fence post, it must look like a fence post. If it might be confused with something else, make sure the box or protective wrapping calls it a fence post.

  7. When announcing the event, you are not allowed to make references to punch or people getting in line for punch. Just like Fight Club...

For now, we have no rule about promoting one stock car event ov

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I couldn't believe that Dave Grohl had become a farm worker.

But he was able to provide Foo Tractor authentication.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I just sold my car and this was my add

Hi Folks, If you are a linguist then I am selling your dream car! I’m selling an Accent, a 2004 Hyundai Accent to be precise. Even if you don’t know a bunch of languages, this car is still great for you.

Just like me, it’s been around the birthday block a few times, but there’s still lots of life left in both of us, I guarantee! If you are looking for the perfect body, seek out a surgeon. If you’re looking for a car that will love you just the way you are, this is it. Now I know what you’re thinking, β€œI bet this is a junker”, but you’d be wrong. Next to my wife this is the best body I’ve ever had my hands on.

What’s wrong with it mechanically you ask? Nothing! It drives great, A/C & heat still work like a dream, breaks work, transmission shifts good, and the 1.6L engine runs great. With its age, the engine has had some parts replaced. All the belts have recently been changed, that happens with age as I just went up a few sizes myself. The washer fluid pump has been changed becau

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DjBWren
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Perks of being a Dog

A dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.

He has his food prepared for him.

He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365.

His meals are provided at no cost to him.

By the way he does not need to pay for medical insurance.

He visits the doctor once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.

If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.

He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.

He receives these accommodations absolutely free.

He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head.......

..

..

..

..

A dog is like a β€œPOLITICIAN”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ammabmma
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Isaac was helping Abraham to build a gaming PC.

They found all the parts that they needed on online, and we're ready to order. Right before Abraham hit the Checkout button, Isaac reviewed the contents of the order:

Isaac: "Dad, you're missing the memory."

Abraham: "God will provide the RAM."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IdonJuanTatalya
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
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What do you call a refrigerator that won't refrigerate?

A cabinet.

... My youngling asked me this after encountering a refrigerator in any unexpected location. My natural response was "r", but I was way off, apparently. The provided answer seemed on par for this sub, and I have never heard this joke before. I got a kick out of it. I hope you enjoy it too.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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Piggybacked on the captain's dad joke.

Family and I went on a fancy boat tour of a local rich lake. The captain provided a running narrative over the intercom about the history of the houses, etc.

Captain: You'll notice all the piers look the same on the lake. There's no law governing that, everyone just agrees they should use the same color and materials. Some might call that "pier pressure."

Crowd: (groans)

Me: I think we need to dock him some points for that one...

Wife: (groans and pretends not to know me)

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2015
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(Request) Need a good pun name for a YouTube show.

Greeting punny people, I require your services to name an upcoming show on my YouTube channel.

The show will be about my first impressions on indie games that have been provided to me by developers. I need a humorous name that includes the word "indie" somehow.

Example: I have another show where I cover games over on Itch.io that I call "Scratching The Itch.io".

Thou shalt be credited for the name during the first episode.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Patty-Jack
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2017
🚨︎ report
In birdsong, every cheerful chirp'll

provide a way to rhyme with purple.

If you're clumsy, and a door inj-

ures you, that rhymes with orange.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2017
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Star Wars Puns

From movie puns we provide you the funniest collection of Star Wars puns

What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob!


Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesn’t Hang Solow!


Why shouldn’t you ask Yoda for money? Because he’s always a little short


What program do Jedi use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi


What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks


What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be


Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Maul


Greg: Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Craig: Who? Greg: Globi-wan Kenobi!


Matthew: What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Daniel: What? Matthew: Bow ties, of course!


Deen Why was the droid angry? Mark: Why? Deen People kept pushing its but

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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I just don’t get why people hate me for making fake quotes

I am just providing some contexts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/109488
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
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I like the company "Razor"

They provide the cutting edge technology

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Piggy_The_Sensei
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2018
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Setting up a direct debit...

Happened earlier today, Mom was on the phone trying to set up the direct debit payment with the phone provider.

Dad: "How's it going?"

Mom: "He (call centre employee) says he's going to send me a mandate to fill in"

Dad: "That's fine, but you're definitely not going on any mandate!"

Mother was not amused... I was...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonbornAgain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2014
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Who was Ryan Sherriff's (Cardinals Pitcher) favorite baseball player growing up?

David Justice (MLB Commentators provide an endless flow of Dad Jokes)

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2017
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My girlfriend was looking at apartments on her phone...

she finds one that she likes and says "look this one comes with a free gym" to which I respond "Do you have to provide him with a bed and food?" Silence. Glares and silence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/j21martin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2016
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I got dad joked by a 90 year old patient today

So there I was in the process of helping him walk back to his room. During the walk I happen to look over and he is grimacing in pain with a look of disgust. As a worried healthcare provider, I ask him,

"Patient, you look like you're in pain, how do you feel"?

Without skipping a beat, he looks up into my eyes and with a trembling voice through the pain he replies..

"with my hands"

I was taken aback, not realizing what had just happened to me. He then smiled and startled to chuckle, and only then did I realize I had just been had by a dad and started to laugh myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StankyHoodrat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2014
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Heard this one at a temple in my city

Yesterday I was at a Thai Buddhist temple in my city. The secondary meditation instructor was just chatting with the group a bit before things began. He was explaining to me that on Sundays the temple has language classes. Someone else asked if he spoke Thai, he then explained to us that he didn't complete all the courses and considers himself.......A Thai School Drop out.

I laughed so much harder than I should have at this, mainly because I had been trying to think of some dadjokes earlier that day. Universe provided.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IceJudge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2015
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My dad really likes trains.

The other day he wanted to ask me a math question, "Let's say a lightning bolt strikes a mile long metal train at the very back end. How long until it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he is a good conductor?" He sat there with his mouth open and a bad joke eel smile, waiting for me to laugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bunnymansams
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2014
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Gave my dad a dad joke he may throw back my way again one day.

Last time I went home, dad had a friend over who shared with us the struggles he now encountered with providing daily basic care for his own aging, terminally-ill father.

"You just can't imagine right now," he assured me, "what it's like to wipe your own father's ass after helping him off the toilet."

"Yeah, well I'm sure you're right," I responded, "but I certainly can imagine it's pretty awkward. He's all bent over. You're back there trying to clean him up and pretend everything's normal, of course he's gonna be fine, when suddenly your eyes meet. With his voice filled with pride, he says, "that's a real good wipe, son."

My dad and his friend laughed their asses off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/olhonestjim
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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A bunch of musicians decided to have a meal together.

Jonathan Davis brought the corn and Fred Durst made biscuits but they were a little too limp. Marshal Mathers wasn't prepared, so all he could provide was some M&M's. Neil Peart had to leave early because he was in a rush, and the meal was so bad that it disturbed David Draimen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masta666
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2014
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I need science puns

Please help me provide science puns. Particularly in physics would help a lot more

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rathi_shobhit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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I'm thinking about starting a company to provide Wi-Fi in public swimming areas..

I'm going to call it IP in Pools

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guycelium
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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