Did you hear about the Uber driver that never had a customer?
He worked 3 weeks and nothing to chauffeur it.
I got the sack for asking a customer if they wanted smoking or non smoking.
Cremation or funeral was the correct term.
I once had a faulty box of Corn Flakes so I called up Kellogg's customer services to see if they could help.
Unfortunately they weren't able to help me in the end as I wasn't able to find the box's cereal number.
We got a new air mattress but it was too lumpy. We called customer support, very angry, demanding our money back!
They said we were blowing it out of proportion.
What did the well driller sing to his customers when he couldn't find water for them.
What do you call a prostitute who locks her customers in the basement!?
Customer: Do you have any books on turtles?
Store owner: Hard cover?
Customer: Yes, with little heads
A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. “That’s one too many!” says the customer.
The clerk replies “It’s a freebie”
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
Where is the customer never right?
Customer: I want to return this vaccum cleaner.
Salesperson: Why?
Customer: It sucks.
What did the produce employee say to the customer as they walked in?
So the customer asks the chef if anyone orders steak raw and the waiter replied ‘yeh but that’s rare’
How does the German baker greet his customers ?
A bar near me has an event once a week where a guy called Michael freely allows the customers to perform surgery on him...
What did the customer say when the stone carver messed up his tombstone?
You've made a grave mistake...
I would do anything to get more customers at my restaurant to order the meat loaf.
Customers always ask if I take tips
But I say no since I don't like change
How does Chipotle' inform their customers that their order is ready?
What did the Eastern European waiter say to the customer when he asked where the food was?
I’ll Serb you shortly sir.
(Eastern Euro joke 3/7)
I got fired when I asked a customer if he preferred smoking or non smoking.
Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial".
My boss told me to wear rubber gloves while dealing with customers this week. I told him “Fuck that.”
I’m doing these prostate exams my way.
Despite a grave outlook on the economy and a dying customer base, one industry for sure won't be going under anytime soon:
Customer: I have a question about the menu please.
Server: slaps customer THE MEN I PLEASE ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
"I always try to go the extra mile for my customers."
Said the city's most hated cab driver.
What did the customer say to the waiter when he asked if he preferred this type of meal?
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer "Smoking" or "Non-Smoking".
Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial"
I mean normally the customer service at the chip shop is fine. But when there's huge lines and only a few teens working there? Then it's...
Excellent customer service.
I bought a T-Shirt the other day but it kept giving me static electric shocks every time I tried to wear it.
I took it back to the store and they kindly replaced it with another one free of charge.
My customers keep complaining that they're receiving empty boxes with no contacts in them
but they're the ones that keep requesting contactless delivery!
Customer: Do you have fish sticks?
Waitress: Certainly not! We don't serve any kind of animal genitalia!
Why wasn’t the customer satisfied with the Velcro they just bought?
Why didn't the angry customer want to hear what the employee had to say?
She wasn't Karen about any opinion but her own.
Starbucks® has announced that they are now adding a surcharge to any customer displaying Coronavirus symptoms.
Relax. It's just a "Cough Fee."
A barber near me got arrested for selling drugs.... I've been his customer for years...
I never knew he was a barber...
A customer ordered a foot long cold cut trio and I completely zoned out and accidentally made him a 6" meatball.
In addition to fixing customers shoes, the local cobbler moonlighted as a shoe salesman...
He often found old used shoes in thrift stores and re-soled them.
I got fired from my bank job because I checked a customer’s balance
I've been a limo driver for 25 years and haven’t had a single customer.
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it...
TIFU by accidentally serving a customer an underwater vehicle at my local Subway...
I guess I have a bad driving record because only 1 insurance company would take me as a customer.
I had to go with the Flo.
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
I was fired from my job when I asked a customer if they wanted "smoking" or "non-smoking".
Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" or "burial".
How does the German baker greet his customers?
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
My friend has been a limo driver for 25 years and hasn’t had a single customer…
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it…
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
