This book on Native American cooking.
Why are French snails faster than American ones?
Are the Americans awake yet?
If you're American outside of a bathroom, what are you inside of it?
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight
There would be a mass confusion
If you go into the bathroom an American, and you leave the bathroom an American, what are you while you’re in the bathroom?
A recent finding by a statistician shows that the average American
Has one breast and one testicle.
If you are sad and angry, what American state are you from?
Edit: I meant sick, not sad. Whoops
How do South Americans get around in the air?
If you are an American in the kitchen, then what are you when you are in the bathroom?
Instead of saying ”get down!” whenever the American president is about to get shot
The secret services now have to say ”Donald, duck!” I stole this joke
What do you call an American Bee?
What would happen if americans switched to kilograms overnight?
TIL The 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry, one of three such regiments raised in 1898 for the Spanish–American War, had dogs to go with them...
The were The Ruff Riders.
What’s an American cop’s favorite instant coffee?
A Brit, a Laotian, a Colombian, an American, an Indian, and a Egyptian wall into a fancy restaurant...
The doorman turns them back, saying “I’m sorry. We can’t let you in without a Thai.”
What do you call a south American girl that's always in a hurry?
What did the short American scientist say to the tall British scientist?
“You’re pretty Fahrenheit.”
Where do American pirates live?
You go into the bathroom American, and you come out American... What are you when you're in the bathroom?
I figured we could all use a light hearted chuckle right about now.
Love you all out there and stay well!
British people be like: I'm bri ish
Which South American country is both the hottest and coldest?
What do you get when you cross a pig with the Native Americans?
I am a unique hybrid of two exceptional athletes. My mom was all-American sprinter and my dad qualified for the Olympic marathon.
So naturally, I have been genetically gifted with the ability to run relatively slowly over very short distances.
How do Americans measure images?
Americans don't like the metric system because most of them have a foot fetish.
Argument at family dinner...
Will this be what Americans say after the November election?
Trump me once, shame on you; Trump me twice, shame on me.
Did you notice that people started taking the looters & rioters seriously once New York was hit?
Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.
Why are American towels communist?
They’re kept in the Lenin closet.
Do you know how many South Americans speak Portuguese?
Drinking American beer is the same as having sex on a canoe.
It’s f*cking close to water.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"
"Yeah…" she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…"
You should not date an American woman if she hangs the flag of China in her bedroom
How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
As an Aussie, I feel sorry for my American friends and their government
After all, they’re still stuck in the last decade
Rachel McAdams' height is 5'4, which is the average height of an american female.
You may be American when you enter the washroom and you may be American when you leave the washroom but..
When you’re in there European
If you call a restaurant on a Native American reservation and don’t feel so certain about it...
then you’re having a reservation reservation reservation.
Sad story about the Native American that drank 37 glasses of ice tea. The next morning they found him dead...
Face down in his tea pee.
Why did all the Native Americans leave Oklahoma?
Broken Arrow, Broken Bow, Nowata,
Finally 2020 is over
So glad that 7-8-2020
(Non-Americans feel free to post on 7 August)
An American bee’s name...
American children are kind...
But German children are kinder
Wie vermehren sich Pfadfinder?
Why are Americans always getting in trouble in the Middle East?
I broke up with my girlfriend because she is obsessed with North American aquatic birds that resemble large ducks when swimming...
How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What did the American sailor say when he was brought on board the British ship?
Do u think if a British person heard an American person go “ugh I have a bloody nose” they would think “we all have noses you know”
Credit goes to my friend who made the joke
The American healthcare system is UnBEARable
An American ship is sinking off the German coast.
The captain goes to use the radio to get help and says “we’re sinking! We’re sinking!”
The German operator answers “what are you sinking about?”
What do you call it when you mix alcohol and American literature ?
What do you call an American parralelogram ?
Just became an American so I cut off all my sleeves
Since I now have the right to bare arms
Which American state is famous for it's small fizzy drinks?
How many South Americans it takes to change a bulb?
When you finish eating at an Australian Restaurant
How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
What do you call rednecks up north?
What do you call an American in the bathroom
What's a thousand times better than Instagram?
American people are greedy at the grocery store...
well, I finally lost it... I was just in a store and saw a man whose cart was FULL to the brim with hand sanitizers, toilet paper, soaps... You know everything that people desperately need right now!!! I called him a greedy bastard, and told him he should be freaking ashamed of himself! He said " are you done? Cuz I really need to get back to stocking the shells now"
Do you know why an octopus is so good at American Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
What do you call an American grammar nazi?
Native American Airlines...
... have a patchy safety record.
What do you call an American Indian princess who gets in trouble?
Why don't Americans like snails ?
Because they like fast food
An American coronavirus investigator got sick and had to return from China
Did you know that on this day during the American Civil War, armies on both sides skipped breakfast?
A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?
Because they're all not 'C's.
Why do Americans never knock?
Native American naming conventions (contains a swear word)
My dad used to tell me this one growing up:
>Native American child is with his father. He looks up at him and says "Dad, how did you figure out what to name us when we were born?"
>The dad responds "Son, it's easy: I just looked around nature and what I saw is what I named you. Your sister, Flying-Eagle, for instance, was born while an eagle flew overhead. Your brother was named Roaming-Buffalo for a similar reason. Why do you ask, Two-Dogs-Fucking?"
What do you call a devout Catholic American Actress?
When aren't you an American?
What do you call an American bee?
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There would be a mass confusion
Why do the Americans don't like the metric system?
Because most of them have a foot fetish.
What do you call an American bee?