For sale: Book titled "The Dangers of Materialism"
My cow saves every scrap of usable material.
I borrowed materials from my friend years ago who is a chain link enthusiast. During a heated conversation, I exclaimed that wood is superior...
I didn't expect it but he took a fence.
After a Viagra salesman died from the effects of the drug, the company gifted his family a casket of a new, high-end material.
They call it mourning wood.
What kind of dog is made of different materials?
I ran out of material for the doll I was making and only had breathe mints left for the feet.
My friend started a company a few years ago that binds quantities of material together...
How should you remove hazardous materials from your house?
We are putting away our unused Christmas gift wrap materials, and my son casually comments
“They’re going to be napping papers”
An answer in a listening test was "specific background material" and a classmate asked if it was ok to just write "background material"
The teacher said it had to be specific
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
We must create artistic compositions made of various materials glued on a surface for my Art 419 class project...
I guess I'll give it the old collage try.
When my uncle worked at the iron mill he made a fortune sneaking out material that he could sell. One can say he was very good at steeling.
what is a cows favourite reading material
"Time Sensitive Material"
What do you call an important message to the staff of a building materials company?
My anatomy class is currently covering the skeletal system and my professor is being unreasonable with the amount of material we need to know so I made an office hour appointment to speak with him.
You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.
My 4 Year Old is Working on Her Material...
Her - Knock knock!
Me - Who's there?
Her - Hungry!
Me - Hungry who?
Her - Hi hungry, I'm dad!
They delivered materials for our new roof today. I looked out the window, confused. Said to my son, “huh, that’s weird. There are several pallets out there. He asked why that’s weird.
I was just expecting a shingle pallet
I told my fiancé I was trying to think of some jokes and that I wrote down some material... I think I'm funny
Later in Forrest Gump’s life, he puts on a little weight and opens a business collecting old plumbing materials.
It was called the Plump Gump Sump Pump Dump.
I suddenly couldn't go out and act because I received lots of crates of materials...
Ironic
The adjective for metal is metallic.
But not so for iron.
Which is ironic.
As a Dad 'comedian', lately all my material has been
My daughter had to stick her hand in a sack to try to guess the type of material by touch...
To steal someone's research material on plague is to
I just want to talk about the absolute perfect quality of material here in r/dadjokes!
Not once has anyone laughed at one of these jokes when I have told them. Way to keep the spirit of dadjokes alive by putting groans before laughter!
What's Mario's favourite material?
Bricks are the happiest construction materials.
They're always getting laid.
I recently failed my “Women in Saudi Arabia” class because there was too much material.
The course covered everything.
Even though I insisted there was no need for repatriation, my neighbour has just brought round a root vegetable in exchange for the reading material I gave them.
So thats a turnip for the books.
From the 2020 SAT, geometry section: A farmer is welding parts in his barn. He wants to cut four bars of equal length from two lengths of iron rebar measuring 16 feet, 8 inches and 5 feet, 10 inches. How much material will be discarded? Bonus: where will the rebar, once welded, go for a good time?
I regret quitting my job at the factory that made night wear for felines. I thought I was allergic to to some of the material we were working with.
But it turns out it wasn’t the cat’s pyjamas
The local cobbler realized that canvas was a better material to craft shoes out of
Wood is a very forgiving material to work with
That's why Jesus is a carpenter
As a woman I consider myself to be wife material. You know how much you have to pay per yard for wife material? About a house and a yard!
I've really enjoyed the past year here and have gotten some great material for my repertoire that never ceases to amaze the wife and kids, but I think it's time I had a short word with you all
What material are a clown’s breast implants made out of?
Ice is the most solid material in the world
It bathes in its own blood
To avoid bear attacks, carry little bells and pepper spray.
It’s also helpful to know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung has plants and fruit material in it. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray.
I found this small stick with one end coated with a material that can be ignited by frictional heat. It made me feel loved, wholesome and beautiful.
Like a match made in heaven.
Fathers of reddit what are some good softball puns that I can use?
I have a girl I want to woo and take her to prom but I need some good material that is funny and gets to the point, I know this isn’t a joke but i really wanna take her to prom
What material is a piggy bank made from?
I borrowed materials from my friend years ago who is a chain link enthusiast. During a heated conversation, I exclaimed that wood is superior...
I didn't expect it but he took a fence.
What is Mario’s favourite clothing material
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