If it’s not rite
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnr_jinx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
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A rite of passage.

Meet James and Sasha, both 23, in a serious relationship and madly in love. James is worried about children, as he knows there is an honourable history of dad jokes in his family, and he is not sure he can live up to these great expectations. One night, whilst doing the deed, the condom breaks. They are both scared but after a couple weeks and no sign of pregnancy, they go back to their normal lives, and James goes back to worrying about parenthood. After returning home from work one night, James finds a tearful Sasha on the front doorstep. He sits next to her to ask what's wrong. 'Honey...' She replies. 'I'm pregnant.' James wipes a tear from his eye, and smiles proudly. 'Hello pregnant. I'm dad.'

πŸ‘︎ 321
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyUserSucks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2015
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What is Dio's favo(u)rite type of biscuit?

Wryos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarioPol
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2017
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Disneyworld is like circumcision.

a rite of passage best enjoyed by the young, and generally not worth repeating.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beingtwiceasnice
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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Bigamy

When two rites make a wrong.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"

That's just not rite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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Why is the English common law so concerned with property rights?

Because the English gentry insisted on proper tea rites every afternoon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adityakr082
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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Did you hear about the nun who got into trouble for drinking communion wine from her convent's medieval goblet?

No, but it serves her rite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Udzu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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I just watched this wonderful and touching movie about a chef in Northern China.

Set in Northern China, this movie follows the rite of passage of a jaded, aimless Chinese chef who falls in love with a worn out cooking pan that he and his friends once scorned. The two develop a powerful and inspirational relationship in which they discover truths about cooking that take most people a lifetime to learn. It's called A Wok to Remember

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2016
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Reading the paper with dad...

Dad - "Someone stole $500 of 5-hour energy off a shelf at rite aid"

Me - "That's weird"

Dad - "Well they're definitely not gonna catch him with all that energy"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jleiter10
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2014
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