It’s called Tailor Swift.
They are calling it Tailor Swift.
But I think they are on the way out.
The man who made it was Tailor Swift
It’s called Tailor Swift.
Whoops, wrong sub.
So I had a table say they had a hair in their food. I went and apologized and said I would remake it immediately. I brought it out to the table and I told them the secret ingredient I used this time was NAIR. The dad laughed, the mom groaned, and the kid asked what NAIR was, the mom said it was "Hair Remover". The look on the kid's face when she recognized the joke was amazing.... Best shift of my life.
Father's Day shirt I made for my dad who likes to spend some quality time snoozing on the couch. Thought some of you may appreciate it.
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
My buddy was making different custom Pikachus on SSB4 and he made one for defense, speed, and attack. I say to him,
"I guess you have a lot of those to pikaCHOOSE from."
He hit me.
To preface, we work at a coffee shop. A somewhat picky customer comes up and orders a 16 ounce chai tea latte, with soy milk. My coworker tells me all of this, and that the customer would like the drink at exactly 140°F. I make the drink, and call it out to be picked up: "16 ounce soy milk chai!"
My coworker comes over and says, "Hopefully she likes it, I've had to remake her drink a couple times before." I replied with:
"Well I certainly chai-ed soy hard when I made it."
Eye rolling and groans all around while I grinned ear to ear.
A customer ordered a large vanilla latte. Made the latte, and when I handed him his latte I wanted to thank him for his business, so I said;
Thanks a latte!!
Not sure if he was a dad but he appreciated it all the same.
Customer points to the front label of a loaf of Italian bread and says "I can't read this, what does it say?"
I respond "It says 'Made from scratch'"
Customers says "I thought it was supposed to be made from flour!"
He asks me "Do you sell 1x6 treated boards?"
I said "Yes, how long do you need?"
He says "Well I need it for a while because I want to build something with it."
It's one of the few times a customer has made me laugh at work!
My dad waited tables to pay his way through college, and he tells a story about one customer who'd made a scene upon entering the restaurant and seemed to be a dickhead generally.
(Guy sits down)
Dad: Welcome to (insert restaurant name), can I get you anything to start out? An appetizer?
Guy: Well, how's your cook?
Dad: Oh, he's great.
Guy: No. I mean how long's he been cooking?
Dad: About two... two and a half years. But he should be just about done by now.
The guy was pissed...
The lady, son, and I were in a retail store the other day when an annoucement was made over the PA system.
"Customer needs assistance in the vacuum cleaners"
I lean towards the wife and say, "Well this Hoover sucks. Oh, the Dyson it also sucks. To be honest, they all suck."
After winding down to the end of a long shift looking like I was near about to fall asleep as I was grabbing a muffler for one of my customers. I made a bold move and went for a dadjoke.
Right as I was putting the muffler on the counter I said, "Man, I'm exhausted."
To which the cringe on my coworkers face and the customers laughter was enough to make my day.