My friend found a custom pc case shaped like a boat.

I told her "I hope the USBs are portside"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwordOfCheese
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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If anyone is looking to have a custom ark built for them

I Noah guy

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Amazon has come up with a new service where they deliver custom made suits to your house in 48 hours.

It’s called Tailor Swift.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Just got my new custom Billfold in the mail
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greenbean4711
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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After the events of Avengers: Endgame, Professor Hulk opened a custom woodworking business

It was called Bruce Banisters

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllanCD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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Custom made Exit signs are all the rage nowadays in my town.

But I think they are on the way out.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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I got caught coming through customs with a large sculpture of Beethoven’s head

The customs officer said it was their biggest bust ever!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnolife
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
On a video of a custom 2 Fort map that excludes the middle area (Team Fortress 2)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Islarf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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I started a new job building custom bookcases...

I'm shelf employed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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Why did Ray Charles buy custom shoes?

He wanted better soul support

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Science_Geek_101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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I tried to get my Swiss army knife through customs but they would not let me through.

That's what I get for bringing a 4-in-1.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adomoto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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So THAT'S how they've been sneaking past customs
πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyAssIsAnAlien
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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I have a friend who likes to make his own custom custards....

And he comes up to me one day and says "Hey Undope! I have this new custard I've been working on, and I think it's my best one yet! Would you like to try it?" And with me being a custard connoisseur, I happily agree, so he takes his sample he has on hand and gives it to me.

I take a bite and take my time, slowly judging the textures and flavors I would expect from a well crafted custard. He becomes mortified as a noticeable wince appears on my face and I struggle a little bit to put down the bite I took.

"Oh my gosh!" he cries. "Do you think it's bad!?"

I shake my head no in response, attempting not to hurt my friend's feelings.

"It's not terrible," I reply. "It's just kinda off-putting."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Undope
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A British man is visiting Australia and is asked by the Customs Officer if he has a criminal record.

He replies, 'I didn't think you needed one to get into Australia any more'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
These guys provide custom 'pens'
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeFire
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2017
🚨︎ report
I got a custom made suit the other day in less than an hour.

The man who made it was Tailor Swift

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HuckingFigh90
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Came back from a holiday in Germany, and customs confiscated my luggage full of spiced fruit and nut loaves.

Apparently it was all Stollen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hairyfacedhooman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
As a customs officer, I don’t always agree with you,

But I can see where you are coming from.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I should stop before ordering a custom bust

I don’t want to get ahead of myself

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ingrahamlincoln
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Three European contrabass players were denied access to USA at the airport customs

They wouldn't let contraband enter the country.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plaineman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
If you work in a country’s customs office, does that make you a customer?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirbykirby56
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
my Dad asked me to make a custom parking ticket..

not a joke per se but seems like a pretty Dad'ish plan to surprise his friends with such a devious ticket! 😲

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakonthru
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Beijing customs disallowed my alpaca beanie baby

They thought it was a dolly llama.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gone4011s
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I want to make a procedural music generator with a custom scripting language.

Think I could tailor Swift?

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KelvinShadewing
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
🚨︎ report
I was going to become a custom mirror designer, but it wasn't really a job I could see myself in.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sethgoodtime
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Driving thru customs, standard dad answer when asked if there were any food or animals to declare...

"Just the wife"

πŸ‘︎ 136
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leiderdorp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2013
🚨︎ report
My friend found a custom pc case shaped like a boat.

I told her "I hope the USBs are portside"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwordOfCheese
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Amazon has started a new service where you will get custom made shirts delivered within 48 hours.

It’s called Tailor Swift.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Amazon is starting a new service where they deliver custom made shirts to your door within 48 hours.

They are calling it Tailor Swift.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Amazon has come up with a new service where they will deliver custom made shirts within 48 hours of ordering.

It’s called Tailor Swift.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
🚨︎ report
TIL: Amazon has come out with a new service where they will deliver custom fitted shirts to your home within 48 hours.

It’s called Tailor Swift.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report

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