I Noah guy
Unfortunately they weren't able to help me in the end as I wasn't able to find the box's cereal number.
They said we were blowing it out of proportion.
Noel Noel Noel
A Whoarder!
Store owner: Hard cover?
Customer: Yes, with little heads
The clerk replies โItโs a freebieโ
The look on his face was priceless.
Itโs called Tailor Swift.
At the Leftorium
Salesperson: Why? Customer: It sucks.
It's an open Mike night.
Lettuce wow you!
Gluten Morgen
But I wonโt do that.
But I say no since I don't like change
Things you say at a celebrity brothel and at a custom tailors. " yeah, how much is Chris Hemsworth? "
...by tex-mexage.
Its ok though, they caught the guy, there was an iWitness.
Iโll Serb you shortly sir.
(Eastern Euro joke 3/7)
Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial".
Iโm doing these prostate exams my way.
Death care.
Said the city's most hated cab driver.
Server: slaps customer THE MEN I PLEASE ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.
When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.
When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.
When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?
When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.
When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?
When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?
When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!
In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.
Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.
A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.
When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.
When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?
So I asked what her riskiest encounter was. She said she did not know, but she learned early to give mothers with fat babies a wide berth.
It was called Bruce Banisters
But I think they are on the way out.
Of course
I bought a T-Shirt the other day but it kept giving me static electric shocks every time I tried to wear it.
I took it back to the store and they kindly replaced it with another one free of charge.
Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial"
The customs officer said it was their biggest bust ever!
Blew my mind. Iโve been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.
One day a snail went to a car dealership, he said to the dealer. I want a custom car, a car thatโs very fast and had a big s on the side. The dealer said ok and the snail paid. 3 weeks later the snail got a call that his car was ready. When the snail went back to the dealership for his car and the dealer asked him why he snail wanted a big s on the side, and the snail said โIโve been very slow all my life, so when Iโm going down the freeway at high speeds, I want people to look over and say look at that escargotโ
but they're the ones that keep requesting contactless delivery!
A trucker came intoย a Truck Stop Cafรฉ and placed his order with the waitress. He said "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said.ย "'three flat tires' mean three pancakes; 'a pair of headlights' are two eggs sunny side up; and 'a pair of running boards' are 2 slices of crisp bacon!"
"Oh.. OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"
The look on his face was priceless.
Itโs called Tailor Swift.
They are calling it Tailor Swift.
