Part of me thinks cognitive dissonance can be a useful coping mechanism

... but another part of me disagrees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jawn317
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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How do I cope with the echo in a glacier cave?

Ice cream.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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Apple announced a new product for wives that helps cope with spontaneous dad jokes throughout their day.

The iRoll

Edit: thank you kind strangers for the awards! I told my wife we've struck gold and she immediately upgraded to the newest iRoll v2 software!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Use2HandsPlease
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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People ask me how I cope with No Nut November...

Its easy, anytime I even think about eating a nut, I have a wank instead!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sparkplug420
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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I went to a therapy group to help me cope with loneliness

And no one else turned up!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SGauntUK
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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My son didn't cope well with going to jail.

He refused to eat or drink anything. He swore at everyone and covered his room with his own shit.

After that, we never played Monopoly again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ravireads
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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I am learning to cope with social distancing.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MadCrow024
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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My wife couldn't cope with my obsession with horoscopes...

In the end it Taurus apart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWulf360
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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What did the stressed out carpenter say about his broken saw?

I can't cope with this.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuriouslySentient
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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I count to three in Spanish to cope with my anxiety

It undo stress

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Potato23860
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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My realtor asked me how I felt about the defects in the finish trim in my new home.

I said I'll be coping.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chilldabpanda
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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There’s a new Apple device that’s out to help teens cope with Dad jokes.

Its called the iRoll with a companion download for adults called the Groan app.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flumanchu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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Why are you cuddling that saw?

For emotional support.

It's my coping saw.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cat_named_virtue
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Colbert is calling on America to cope with surplus cheese. Drops a slew of cheese related puns starting at [1:33](https://youtu.be/37-pPk0bJ-o?t=1m33s). youtube.com/watch?v=37-pP…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/davbrowdid
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2016
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My old friend is doing bycicle tricks to cope with his depression...

He is wheelie sad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FilthyRyzeMain
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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What tool would deal best with a traumatic event?

A coping saw!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thingie2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Paul McCartney copes with John Lennon's death by buying hens, and then later tries to fly by tying them to his arms and legs.

As he puts it,

"I get by with a little help from my hens."

"I get high with a little help from my hens."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
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How can guinea pigs cope so well in the cold?

It's Chile near where they're from.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatostomach
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2017
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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The CEO of Pepsi was fired this morning

He tested positive for Coke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/camelopardalisx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
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I heard that there’s an Australian tea harvested from the tops of Eucalyptus trees

It’s pretty high koala tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dd0sed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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I failed shop because I couldn't handle the bow saw used to cut intricate external shapes and interior cut-outs in woodworking

I had trouble coping.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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I have a crippling phobia of lifts

I take multiple steps to avoid them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcsabas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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Today I walked in on my wife taking a bath in a tub full of mouthwash

I caught her in the act

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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Mute jokes?

So I’m a partial mute, and have been for nearly six years now, and try to cope with this through humour, so give me some of your best mute jokes!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HisLittleMischief
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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This kid in my shop class got so frustrated, he threw down his saw and stormed out.

Poor guy just couldn’t cope.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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Our printer stopped having brakedowns.

I guess you can say it developed a coping mechanism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoMoreDays
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2016
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Why was the Carpenter depressed?

He lost his coping saw.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/relayrider
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2016
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Ever since our son was born, it's been the same routine every morning. First the crying, then a breastfeeding, followed by a nap…

It's the only way I can cope…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2017
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Dadjoked a customer last week [Retail]

So I work at a hardware store/fish & tackle shop on a fairly affluent barrier island in Florida...tons of rich old WASPs (we're talking DuPont heir money here).

Anyways, a regular comes up to the front register with a saw and some saw blades. I took note of his purchases and said to the guy "How do these work? Some sort of coping mechanism?"

He looked down for a second, began to explain (in a somewhat demeaning tone) how a coping saw works, looked up and saw my shit eating grin.

grooaaannnn "Oh you ass, that was witty. You got me though!"

I later learned that day that his wife had died three months earlier...whoops.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Cameraman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2014
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I went to a therapy group to cope with my loneliness...

But no one turned up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zomo147
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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