Dad: Iβm gonna have to return all of these poles. Theyβre too tall.
Me: They seem fine.
Dad: No. The stakes are too high.
People are dying to take a ride in it.
(As told by my friend the funeral director?
A real iSoar.
"Huge Disapoint Mints!"
....Heinzsight is 20/20
Nike. β
coughy filters
a dell
(hope you guys get it)
Hush Puppies
A holly davidson
GooCheese
It was a match made in heaven.
DeLayβs
Valenciaga
If only they could see me now...
wife threw it directly in the trash to teach me a wesson
Because itβs would be called Aldiβs Nuts
I said, βIβm taking Advil before Aleeveβ
The people believe in Fake Moos.
But didn't because they felt no one would be able to find them.
Algerios
I just took a sharpie and wrote "Also quite nice" under the other one.
Scara-lee
A Dell
Fucking close to water
He goes to the doctor to discuss his depression. When he arrives back home he has a huge smile on his face. He rushed past his wife and heads into the basement, where he immediately starts tinkering with a brand new invention.
His wife comes downstairs, gives the invention a once-over, then asks "What on earth is this thing, and how this supposed to help your depression?".
"Honey, the doctor told me working on this should have me feeling better in no time!" replies the man. He then proceeds to describe in detail how the machine cracks eggs, steams them, and flips them out onto a plate in under a minute, all at the touch of a button.
"But what on earth does this have to do with your depression? What did that quack doctor tell you to do?" asks the wife
The man replies: "He told me to work on my self egg-steam".
It's called the apple Ο
Lamborghini
Little Deb-hee hee.
A Weber.
Police brew Tally tea.
It was called Smells Like Green Spearmint.
Iβve been having a blast
I wish he'd stop flaunting his new shoes.
She didn't receive it very well
Oh..... for fucks sake.
