Why does Chris Martin prefer the stage adaptation of Frozen?

Because it's a cold play.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/riptodake
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2021
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I asked my friend if he wanted to see that new Stephen King movie adaptation and it felt like a betrayal when he declined.

"It 2, Brute?" I had asked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phiv555
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
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Improvise.Adapt.Overcome
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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My wife is fed up with my constant stream of dad jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?!" She shot back, "Whatever means necessary!!"

I replied, "No, it doesn't!"

Adapted from r/jokes credit to u/808gecko808

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Satolah
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2021
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I thought my TV was broken

I was watching a documentary about how polar bears’ hands and feet have adapted to the snow when all of a sudden my TV froze.

It’s okay though, it was just on paws

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HardYakkadakka
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2021
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Did you hear ISIS is adapting Covid-19 into a bio-weapon?!

They're calling it the Quranavirus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CLUTCH3R
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Why are spiders so adaptable to the pandemic?

They're always working at home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prendrefeu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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BAH fest presentation on the adaptive benefits of dad jokes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/digoryk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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Being cooped up in the house for so long has led me to attempt new hobbies. As an example, I'm currently studying how to adapt French phrases to describe the situation.

You could say it's my maison d'Γͺtre.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blockinite
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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Yesterday me and my friend were chasing on discord,then someone in the server posted a slightly dirty meme. So my friend said "Improvise. Adapt. Overcum" which fits the meme well.. so I said "Cumon, you beat meato tits"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dagreifers
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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Mate: Aye, the cannons be ready, Cap'n!

Captain: *are

Text adaptation of this

I wish this was my joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/extremely_4getful
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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Just finished setting up power line adapters, it was so easy

There just plug and play

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πŸ‘€︎ u/quickhakker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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In China, they adapt fast and change all the time

Maybe they like very-asian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/globalklaus
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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What kind of jokes do quarantined comedians tell?

Inside jokes.

(Adapted from WFAN host Steve Somers while talking to Jerry Seinfeld today on the air)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tumalditamadre
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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Unemployed Pilot (Dad still killing it at 70)

My dad just sent me this (couldn't help but groan, even as a dad myself):

I had a fella in painting and decorating the house for the last three days, I got chatting to him and it turns out he is actually a Ryanair pilot on PUP (Pandemic Unemployment Payment - social welfare in Ireland for those affected by Covid), he is decorating now to try and pay his mortgage, sad times but in fairness he did a great job on the landingπŸ˜¬πŸ‘

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Garbarrage
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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Adapted for the youtubes from a Newgrounds flash. A story of two brothers. youtube.com/watch?v=thmNB…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flagnut1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2016
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Unfortunately, my wife left me recently because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.

And then I saw her face...

(Adapted from a youtube comment)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haston97
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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I heard that there’s an Australian tea harvested from the tops of Eucalyptus trees

It’s pretty high koala tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dd0sed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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A baby chameleon went to a therapist

Chameleon: The humans hate me

Therapist: What makes you say that?

Chameleon: My parents and siblings roam around their houses and kids' bikes, and it's all fine by the humans, but when I visit their neighborhood, they throw objects at me

Therapist: You need to learn to adapt to change

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinayjrao
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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What cheese is best at social distancing?

Provalone

(not really original...just adapted to current times)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumboltQuadrant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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A joke that takes a while to evolve

To celebrate the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin, the scientific community joined together for a party. As is common at such gatherings, the Biologists began to argue about what species was the most suited to its environment. Finally after much heated debate, a group of scientists pledged to spend the rest of the year exhaustively researching the Biological record to once and for all determine which creature was the ultimate example of adaptivity and proficiency ever to live.

Yesterday, the results were announced at the National Academy of Sciences. The creature identified as the most adaptive and proficient in Earth's history was a previously unknown animal from the Mesozoic era, a water dwelling insect that thrived for a hundred million years.

It was ... a FishAnt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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Neuroanatomy professor dad jokes the class

He was lecturing on the cranial nerves, which do pretty much everything for the head. They control all 5 senses and motor output as well as some other non relevant stuff.

Professor: So class does everyone remember what the senses are?

Class: touch/pain, sight, hearing/equilibrium, smell, taste.

Professor: Does anyone know what the sixth sense is?

Class: (thinking hes serious) Guess random shit like magnetoreception.

Professor: The sixth sense is the ability to see dead people.

Class: combination of groans and laughter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/braaaaiins
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2014
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Heres one i get coworkers with from time to time..

Me: Hey, they’re stopping all the buses outside! Coworker: What! Why? Me: To let the people get off and on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/8bitPete
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
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Watching Pavarotti on TV last night, I was reminded that in his later years he became a camper-van enthusiast

He had a van adapted to his own specification, which subsequently was often seen overnight in the car parks of the world's best opera houses. After his death, the Japanese manufacturers used it as the flagship model of a new range. We've all heard of the 'Nissan Dormer'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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If you're afraid, you should do arithmetic.

There is safety in numbers.

Adapted from the dadliest Dinosaur Comics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryy0
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2016
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My dad has is baby granddaughter's best interest at heart, yet he's still logical.

While putting footie pajamas on my baby niece we realized she was too tall for them. My dad says, "Cut off her feet and they'll fit. She's young, she'll adapt."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lrnrae
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2013
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A couple gems from my friend on Facebook (he's a Dad)

http://imgur.com/lqtAHUQ

His son just started Kindergarten. I'd say he's adapted to the Dad role quite well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ingmarbirdman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
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I burned my finger...

...but on the other hand, there's not much damage.

(adapted from wtf)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flashman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2013
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I thought my TV broke...

I was watching a documentary about how polar bears’ hands and feet have adapted to the snow when all of a sudden my TV froze.

It’s okay though, it was just on paws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hufc1908
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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