I Noah guy
A Whoarder!
Store owner: Hard cover?
Customer: Yes, with little heads
The clerk replies “It’s a freebie”
The look on his face was priceless.
It’s called Tailor Swift.
Let me shoyu what I've got.
Salesperson: Why? Customer: It sucks.
At the Leftorium
Lettuce wow you!
It's an open Mike night.
Gluten Morgen
You've made a grave mistake...
But I won’t do that.
But I say no since I don't like change
...by tex-mexage.
Its ok though, they caught the guy, there was an iWitness.
I’ll Serb you shortly sir.
(Eastern Euro joke 3/7)
I’m doing these prostate exams my way.
Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial".
Death care.
So I asked what her riskiest encounter was. She said she did not know, but she learned early to give mothers with fat babies a wide berth.
When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.
When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.
When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.
When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?
When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.
When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?
When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?
When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!
In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.
Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.
A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.
When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.
When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?
Said the city's most hated cab driver.
But I think they are on the way out.
Of course
It was called Bruce Banisters
Server: slaps customer THE MEN I PLEASE ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
I bought a T-Shirt the other day but it kept giving me static electric shocks every time I tried to wear it.
I took it back to the store and they kindly replaced it with another one free of charge.
Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial"
The customs officer said it was their biggest bust ever!
One day a snail went to a car dealership, he said to the dealer. I want a custom car, a car that’s very fast and had a big s on the side. The dealer said ok and the snail paid. 3 weeks later the snail got a call that his car was ready. When the snail went back to the dealership for his car and the dealer asked him why he snail wanted a big s on the side, and the snail said “I’ve been very slow all my life, so when I’m going down the freeway at high speeds, I want people to look over and say look at that escargot”
A trucker came into a Truck Stop Café and placed his order with the waitress. He said "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said. "'three flat tires' mean three pancakes; 'a pair of headlights' are two eggs sunny side up; and 'a pair of running boards' are 2 slices of crisp bacon!"
"Oh.. OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"
Blew my mind. I’ve been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.
but they're the ones that keep requesting contactless delivery!
Waitress: Certainly not! We don't serve any kind of animal genitalia!
It’s called Tailor Swift.
The look on his face was priceless.
They are calling it Tailor Swift.
