Are German puns allowed??
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neur0nic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlameExploision
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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German pun
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shipless_Captain
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2018
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πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ffngg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2015
🚨︎ report
I often worry about German sausages

Basically I fear the wurst.

Edit: thanks for my first award ya loonies ;)

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kimenon001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23
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How does two German car enthusiast cowboys greet each other?

Audi, partner 🀠

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EL17Eness
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12
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I was thinking that I am the kindest person in the world. Then I saw German kids.

They are clearly Kinder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phoqkhan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08
🚨︎ report
What is a German anesthesiologists favorite time of day

9:30

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotBilroy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06
🚨︎ report
How does the German baker greet his customers ?

Gluten Morgen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04
🚨︎ report
Hey, German speakers. What do Germans call Mayor McCheese?

BΓΌrgermeister!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21
🚨︎ report
I thought I saw a German sausage fly past my window, but it was actually a seabird.

I think I’ve taken a tern for the wurst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snipesma
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15
🚨︎ report
The WHO have a German Doctor now heading up their COVID response..

.. He's Dr Hans Sanitizer.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11
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I just found out that in WWII, my grandpa killed 11 German pilots on one raid...

... but the German Luftwaffe (Air Force) kicked him out for being a terrible airplane mechanic...

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 13
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A English man, a Spaniard, a French man, and a German. Go to a club. The guy on stage asks if they can see him. They said

β€œYes” β€œOui” β€œSí” β€œJa”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGregGreg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
How do German Bakers say hello?

Gluten tag!

πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elon_Muskmelon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29
🚨︎ report
I have an irrational fear of being in a small room, packed with Germans.

I told my doctor and he said I have Klaustrophobia.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 15
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What do you call the German man that fell into a tub of disinfectant?

Hans-anitizer

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 31
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My brother said he would gift me either a short sleeved shirt or a German sausage.

I hope for the vest but expecting the wurst.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 23
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A German built a swimming pool around his table.

Bad um Tisch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/treenaks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04
🚨︎ report
Two Germans are a bar in London

"Two martinis, please."

"Dry?"

"NEIN, ZWEI!"

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
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I bought a German shepherd today and named him Lord.

Now I can truly say the Lord is my shepherd

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/den_nis3524
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23
🚨︎ report
Why do Germans love beer so much?

Because it’s Ale Mania!!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unityforall
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11
🚨︎ report
What do you call a disgruntled German?

Sauerkraut

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoullessRedAfro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08
🚨︎ report
What do you call a blind German?

A NotSee.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10
🚨︎ report
How do you describe a blind German?

He does Nazi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PieknyKaczor
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11
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Those German electricians really work together when their Cities have power outages.

Many Hans make light work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29
🚨︎ report
I couldn't think of anything really new and humorous to say about my German sausage...

So I went to r/YourJokeButWurst to see if they had any advice.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04
🚨︎ report
I really hope I don't get addicted to German sausage again

Those days were the Wurst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
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Aldi
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BBalazs03
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17
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I don't like German sausages, especially their jokes...

They're the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pusilli
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02
🚨︎ report
Did you know what did the Grrman Bread said to another German Bread after tapping on his shoulder ?

Gluten Tag.

edit : i fucked up the title

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
How does the German baker greet people?

"Gluten tag!"

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrivatePenguin12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. We are very efficient and not funny.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimothyLux
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
I'm developing a fear of German sausages

I fear the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/massattcker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
Winning a German sausage eating contest is all about your mind set

You hope for the best, but prepare for the wurst

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ali_whi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15
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My son asked: β€œDad, have you seen my sunglasses?”

I replied: β€œNo son, but have you seen my dad glasses?”

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wasntmyproudest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17
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Had to remove a load of German names and stuff from my pre-owned iPhone..

..It's Hans free now.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
A pun for all the German speakers here
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LifeNerd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
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Germans are so childish, they always play with their food.

They play Gluten Tag.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DBTheNerd
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
What the Poland man did, after adding German mugs to his collection?

He polished them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/4K_Jay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
🚨︎ report
Credit: instagram.com/etheriality
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NicksterTV
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26
🚨︎ report
How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, they are very efficient and have no sense of humor.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danspud69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
What did the man say to the sad German egg noodle?

You'll always be spaetzle to me!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tca_ky
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
I’ve been trying to pick up on German humor recently.

It’s no laughing matter.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedShirtCashion
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
What did the Germans say when they lost WW2?

I did Nazi that coming.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Br_u_u_u_ce
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11
🚨︎ report
Whenever I'm sad my German friend throws bread at me

A nice game of gluten tag always cheers me up.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IWaterboardKids
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report
My son asked me if i could count numbers in German.

I told him 9

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
I received an email today from the owner of a German sausage processing plant, he said I could have it for only 1000€

I agreed and wired him the money. What’s the wurst that could happen?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mustacius
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
How do you say unintended pregnancy in German?

Kinder Surprise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/REShockwave
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26
🚨︎ report
what do you call a blind German

A not see.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sickycrimson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
🚨︎ report
A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, β€œhere is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, β€œare you a vet?”

He said, β€œvet? I’m fucking soaking”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rohanlahiri05
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
Why was the German boy sad when sister ran away with his 3-Musketeers Candy Bar ??

Because he was Far-from-nougat!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
A German rod is very...

eFischent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coffinedude
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07
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I have a friend who teaches Germanic languages.

I asked him if he likes those dots that go over certain vowels.

He replied, "Umm, lots!"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sharksandwich70
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
I asked a German girl for her number and I'm still waiting for the rest of the numbers

So far all I have is 9.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
What do you call a female german baker?

Gluten Morgan

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSalemWitch22
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26
🚨︎ report
What is it called when you spend an hour in the bookstore browsing for German philosophers?

A Schopenhauer.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HudsonSlaby
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
When writing in German, is the word for sausage capitalised or not?

It’s a wurst case scenario.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
🚨︎ report
I hate German sausages

They’re the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgrabowski121
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
How do Celiac Germans greet eachother?

Gluten-tag!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chevalier-96
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12
🚨︎ report
A German friend of mine actually installed a bath around his desk !?..

Bad um tisch..

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07
🚨︎ report
My grandpa was responsible for downing 43 German planes in WW2.

To this day he still holds the record as the worst mechanic in the Luftwaffe.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/katskratched
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
🚨︎ report
What did the Germans say when Hitler killed himself?

I did nazi that coming

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hysterical110
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
What do Germans think of sausages?

It’s the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
What do you call a meme made by a grateful german?

A danke meme

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daswithclass
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
Got told this one is scouts a long time ago. If you’re Russian when you’re walking in the bathroom and German when you come out, what are you while you’re in the bathroom?

European

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MPT1313
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
I’m in charge of the reader board at work
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alx924
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
Schokolade anyone?
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mvolfCZ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
I found a specific hobby of adding alliteration to German philosophers’ names

Glad I found my Nietzsche niche

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plumsby
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
A German car manufacturer walks into a saloon

Audi

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RatTrap79
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
🚨︎ report
What do you call an angry German

A sour kraut

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michael121425
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
5Q + 5Q = ?

You're welcome

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lone_wolfenstein
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
🚨︎ report
Everyone says that German sausages are the best

I think they’re the wurst

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shlimon69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
Where will you find a happy naysayer German?

On Cloud Nein

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
I've heard the german army only liked one type of pastry.

The luft-waffle

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YKantSpiel66
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
I wanted to go over to my German girlfriend's house at 8:51...

But she said "nein" to nine to nine.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.

Still to this day holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
How many germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One! Because Germans do not have humor.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/taroqi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are sitting in a room...

...a man enters and asks them "Can you see me?" and they respond; "Yes." "Oui." "SΓ­." "Ja."

πŸ‘︎ 326
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonmokoko
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
Why don’t Germans teach algebra in school?

Nobody can understand the Bavariables!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yourpaljenkins
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
I painted a German Shepherd
πŸ‘︎ 158
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πŸ‘€︎ u/travischapmanart
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
A group of German geologists recently made an interesting discovery within a mountain range of northern Italy

The team unearthed a layer of rock tessellations resembling a violin as viewed from behind.

As of yet they have no name for this strata variance.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raidenisme
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
I'm on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I'm seated in the last row.

I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind German mistakenly support Hitler?

He thought he was a fellow member of the Not See Party.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miketar85
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
EYE SEE what you did there ;)
πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08
🚨︎ report
I know 10 words in German.

But I can only pronounce nein.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Picker-Rick
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
How do you talk with a German?

You co-munich-cate with them.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
I shot a man in German,

just to watch him the.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnreese421
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
German sausages

Are the wurst

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/greyghost801
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10
🚨︎ report
German sausage is the wurst
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymous_v8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06
🚨︎ report
How do you greet a German baker?

Gluten tag!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arylade
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13
🚨︎ report
What do you call a blind german...

A notsee

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bonecrusher9874
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
🚨︎ report

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