Are German puns allowed??
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neur0nic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlameExploision
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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German pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shipless_Captain
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2018
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I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said no.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superuglypotate
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
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The other day my dog fell into a lake and was drowning. Then some German guy came out of nowhere and saved his life

After I thanked him, he said to me: "Don't vorry, just dry him off and keep him varm, he vill be fine"

I asked him, "Are you a vet?"

He answered, "Am I vet? I'm soaking"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moose_Winchester
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
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I didn't enjoy the German BBQ. The burgers were bad

..but the sausages were wurst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paradeqia
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
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Can we ban jokes about German sausages? They are just the wurst
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incestisbest-cest
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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Today I learned the proper way to greet a German baker

Gluten tag

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πŸ‘€︎ u/corneashell
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
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An American, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German where all attending a Zoom meeting. The Supervisor asked β€œcan you see me ok?”

To which they answered β€œyes” β€œoui” β€œsi” β€œja”.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. They're very efficient, and not particularly funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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What did german air force members eat for breakfast?

Luftwaffles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Major_Cupcake
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
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What do you call it when one German WWII soldier lies to you, then another, then two lie to you, then three tell you a lie, then five lie to you, then eight, then thirteen....

A fibbin' Nazi sequence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gretzkyandlemieux
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
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I can't believe I just dated a german nationalist! But I guess it's obvious, looking back on it

I mean, there were red flags all over the place

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Version_Two
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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Mick jagger is hosting a show exploring germanic tribes of britain and north europe

Its called saxon faction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrslinkydragon
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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Next level stuff right here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thryloz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
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Never trust a German Butcher...

They are the wurst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoridinReborn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2021
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What did the German say when asked to skip a few when counting to 1,000?

Nien, Nien, Nien!

Germans don’t skip steps.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smrto0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2021
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What do you call a blind German?

A not see

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Veriuzhskii
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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What's the name of that German doctor that blew my mind?

Dr alzheimer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOneAndOnlyBob2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2021
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German Wifi
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frazyn
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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I visited a psychic near a French-German border town. I asked if she could connect with dead people.

She remained silent and wrote out her reply. Oui, ja.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LateralAxes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
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A German meat packing plant had to switch from natural products to collagen skins for its sausages.

It was the wurst case scenario.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
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A German women was arrested for faking her taxes

They were FRAUdulent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/katsulambert
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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A German man visits Spain

The bartender asks: "Uno mas?"

To which he replies: "Nein, nein! Tho-mas!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay_Nitzel
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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A waiter at a german restaurant warned me that the meat they used for sausages was suspicious. I replied: " It's okay...

... I've had wurst."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreeksTheFly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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A Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German went downtown to see a juggling act...

The performer saw the men arrive and that the crowd was large so he stood on his cart and yelled "can you see me now!?" to which the men replied Oui! Si! Ja!

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πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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Did you hear about the new Chinese-German fusion restaurant?

The food is great but an hour later you're hungry for power.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brahkce
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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What do German cannibals eat at parties?

Frankfurt-ers and Hamburg-ers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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What did the protestor yell in the German bakery?

This is stollen land!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coupevillian
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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A German spy gave themself away when I sneezed. They said, "gesundheit!"

It was a blessing in disguise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevographic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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What kind of a belly button does a German car mechanic have?

An Audi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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Your weather may be wet, but German weather is wetter.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dutch_Midget
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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How do you greet a German Car salesman?

Audi you do

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πŸ‘€︎ u/glezgatoon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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What do Germans call the first day of wheat harvest, and also a popular children's game where kids chase each other around a wheat field?

Gluten Tag

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HennyPennyBenny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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I interviewed the leading German herb gardeners and compiled their knowledge into a book.

It's called "Wisdom of the Kraut"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hasanowitsch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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A German guy built a bathroom around his table

Bad um Tisch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dutch_Midget
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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Why was the German Blitzkrieg in WW2 so effective?

Because their enemies did NAZI it coming

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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An American wants to enter a nightclub

Together with some friends from abroad, an Afghan, an Albanian, and Algerian, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argintine, an Armenian, and Austrailian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leemhuis
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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I often worry about German sausages

Basically I fear the wurst.

Edit: thanks for my first award ya loonies ;)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kimenon001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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Oh NO!!! Just found out I failed my German exam...

Sacre Bleu.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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I just read an article about a German stealth division from WWII that never had a single casualty

Guess it’s true what they say, you can not hit what you can Nazi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/turkyman3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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A German boy pushes his brother off a cliff.

β€œLook mom, no Hans!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Just found out I’m part German.

They said it was nein%

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DustyBunny42
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81

He said no.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyOhMyItsTY
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81

He said no

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tecygirl101
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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