Procedure Puns

Me: I’m not David.

Doctor: I know. I’m David.

There with a company with a lot of travelling salespeople, and they had an accounting procedure that was somewhat unusual. Since the salespeople were driving around a lot, they had to pay a lot of highway tolls. They would get reimbursed for this. Since these expenses were so common, and different from other expenses, they had a series of ceramic tiles that represented the amount of money they paid to take these highways. At the end of the day, after travelling their routes, they would come back and put them in the cash register and take money out to reimburse themselves. But the highways all raised their rates, and so the salespeople would come back with hands full of their tiles. So one Friday, after raised rates and very busy travel, the boss came in to look at the receptionist and her overloaded cash register. He asked her what was going on, and she said:

"The tall tiles in the till tell a tale of tall tolls"

A splurgery.

Sir-gery

...they became quite skilled at making daddy's into mummy's.

Me: Can I play piano?

Doctor: Yes you can.

Me: Wow! Thanks! I never could before.

$5,318,008

If not, well then I guess urine danger.

The Cyantific Method!

Transcend dental medication.

Sturgery!

Not sure if it was working though because I didn’t feel a thing.

It was suggested by his assistant that I keep my thoughts focused on my "happy place". I said, "No problem, I practice transcen-dental meditation" Not even a snicker from the two of them.

"it'll smell like pop-cornea."

I interrupted and asked if he remembered what type of cat.

[Yes, I used a dad joke on my dad. He taught me well.]

Sorry, this one only works as a picture: http://imgur.com/a/JwNOc

Sitting with my father in the pre op room before he gets stints put into his arteries. Dr is talking to him about what they will do and various risks etc. Dad: Dr, will I be able to play the piano after the procedure? Dr: Yes, I see no reason why this procedure would stop you from doing that. Dad: Great! I've never knew how to play before! Then he continues to giggle and laugh as the dr continues to go over his procedure, and they didn't even give him the Valium yet.