I wanted my report card to spell out F art
I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.
Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.
But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in t... keep reading on reddit ➡
It was a whisk I had to take
I told her there wasn’t any, in these times bakers can’t be choosers.
In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support...
I prefer when they're pun-intentional
Ah, makes cents!
That's the only time his thoughts are in tents.
It was a red hearring, so I blue myself for nothing.
But it DOES seal quacks in ducks
God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark
.... either urinate or you're out of it"
A lab brat.
To keep cancer from getting the breast of us.
They make the person look better
She's a strange woman, but that's how she rolls.
...or are they tanks for nothing?
I guess it had faulty automotives
Teacher "I used to be addicted to soap... Don't worry I'm all clean now" Then he just started cracking up and left.
Turns out he was mis-taken.
A Fraudian Slip.
My father had been in a phase where all he'd drink was wine from the Rhine region of Germany.
When the waiter at the Chinese restaurant asked what we wanted for drinks, my father, knowing that not all restaurants carry it, asked "Do you have Rhine?"
Waiter: Yes, of course
Dad: Ok, great, I'll have that!
Waiter (looking confused): Ahh, ok, you want red rine, or white rine?
Dad: uhh.. how about merlot?