I thought, "I can't turn that down"
That's four too many.
Let it sink in, you’ll be cooking with gas and a fan of it let me tell ya.
I thought, "That's tempting."
ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! £35,000 - £40,000
So I rang them and said, "The answer is -£5,000"
Wonder if I'll get the job
She read out the last sentence that said "If you have any information, please contact owner."
My dad just muttered under his breath "That's a funny name."
TV Advert: "For just two dollars a month you could feed a Syrian child for a year..."
Dad: "That's it! We're moving to Syria!!"
(Note: A friend told me this one but his dad did actually say the joke)
He hops onto a barstool and asks the bartender for a club sandwich and a pint of Guinness , the bartender says "WOW! A talking duck" he is very surprised but gets him his sandwich and pint anyway
The next night the duck comes in and hops onto a barstool and asks the bartender for a club sandwich and a pint of Guinness, the bartender says "WOW! I wasn't dreaming about the talking duck, he came back again" and gets him his sandwich and pint
Once again the duck comes back again the next night and orders his club sandwich and pint of Guinness, the bartender is fairly normalised to the duck now and gets him his sandwich straight away
Over the next week the duck comes in everyday and gets his regular order of a pint of guiness and he and the bartender become good friends, one day the bartender saw an advert for a circus on his way to work. When the duck comes in and orders his club sandwich and pint of guiness the bartender tells him about how he would do great in the circus. The duck doesn't understand and asks the bartender "what would they want with me, I'm only a brick layer"
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, €1, volume stuck on full.” I thought.....
“I can’t turn that down.”
Whilst watching an advert that shows Lionel Messi in a sitting room
me: I wonder what his real house is like
gf: quite messy
she wore a smug grin for the next few minutes