I just spoke with Bill Withers and told him "Ain't No Sunshine" is poor grammar.

He said "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know..."

πŸ‘︎ 117
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins

πŸ‘︎ 601
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Imnotarobot12764
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.

I replied back: β€œSure, my door is always open.”

πŸ‘︎ 21k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My son wanted to glue $20 bills to his belt

I told him that would just be a waist of money

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phresh_69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
My friend just can't afford to pay his huge water bill...

I've sent him a Get Well Soon card.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?

Bernadette.

πŸ‘︎ 662
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I make Christmas wreaths for a living. So I decided I would make one out of 100 dollar bills the other day.

I call it a wreath of Franklin.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZealousidealRise7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn’t afford the bill.

He really got a head of himself.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
Bill Burr Baggins
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Opened the electric bill and the Wife can't understand why i'm on the floor laughing.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JJJoyce
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is Bill Clinton playing the Saxophone now trending on YouTube?

It’s because of the Al Gore Rhythm.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/51mwilson
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Paying bills is hard.

Some would call it taxing.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pokebandit91
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I was working in our store when my son called me over and said, β€œTwo guys came in and tried to give me some fake fifty dollar bills.” I asked. β€œWhat did they look like?” He replied...

β€œFifty dollar bills.”

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
BR EAK ING NE WS....'Bill Gates has agreed to pay for the finishing of Trumps Wall."

(on the condition he gets to install Windows in it)

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a belt made of $100 bills?

A waist of money.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a priest perform an exorcism for my house, but I never paid the bill....

It’s been repossessed

πŸ‘︎ 233
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A big bear goes into a bar and slaps down a $20 bill and says to the bartender,"give me a gin and................tonic"

The bartender replies, "Why the big paws?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I still believe Bill Clinton's Vice President invented the internet

Why else would we use Al-Gore-Rhythms?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ucbrandon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I found a $20 bill in the parking lot of the grocery store. I asked myself, what would Jesus do?

So I turned it into wine.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
When I have expensive medical bills -

Does that mean I had a valuable experience?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Plausibl3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a girl who refuses to pay her bills?

Burnadebt

(Just thought of this and I gotta admit...I'm a little bit proud of myself.)

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zipflop
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I just found out that Bill Nye is just a stage name.

His real name is William New Year’s Eve.

πŸ‘︎ 171
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
If I had twins I'd name the first one Bill

The second one is Doubill

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dizzie222
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Bill Clinton's VP could have won in 2000 if he had found the right flowchart

But he just wasn't using the right Al Gore-ithm

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrDewinYourMom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
If Senate is a place where every bill needs to be pass through

It should be called Bill Gates.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/doom_dodo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
So if you get knighted by Bill Gates

Does that make you an edge lord?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CeMaRiS1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How did Bill Cosby describe the massive earthquake in the Grand Canyon?

β€œThere was a schism in the chasm.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haaskivi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
As I was leaving the vet’s office, he said β€œHere is the bill..

Sorry, that we were unable to reattach it to your duck.”

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw Bill Gates at the airport today
πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/recursivelybetter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A man goes to the doctor, and says "doctor, I havent been peeing correctly and its painful". The doctor replies "I will have to perform a prostate exam." As the doctor examines the man, he pulls out an $100 bill out of his bottom. This continues, he keeps pulling out money from this man's bottom.

After about half an hour the doctor says..."You won't believe this, but i just pulled $1999 out of your bottom"

The man turns around and says "Yeah, I wasn't feeling 2 grand"

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/domheffo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I wonder how Bill Gates gets Windows. Does he get it free? Or does Microsoft Bill Gates?
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/00Turag
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill....

So, I sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill

So I sent him a "get well soon" card

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedCakesYT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/larryb78
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Christmas decoration made out off $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leobloom23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a wreath of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklin(s).

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Beardth_Degree
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?

A wreath of Franklins

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jmar4234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Christmas wreath made of $100 bills?

A wreath of Franklins

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Da_Brootalz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend in the country couldn’t afford his water bill...

So I sent him a β€˜Get Well Soon!’ card.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyberentomology
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?

Bernadette.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend couldn’t afford to pay his water bill.

I sent him a β€œget well soon” card.

πŸ‘︎ 231
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Christmas decoration made of $100 bills that can play R&B hits?

Aretha Franklins.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a belt made out of $100 bills

A waist of money!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cmhenrich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My self-centered friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn't afford the bill.

He really got a head of himself.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend couldn’t afford to pay his water bill.

I sent him a β€œGet well soon” card

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend couldn’t afford to pay his water bill.

I sent him a β€œGet well soon” card

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I just found out that Bill Nye is just his stage name.

His real name is William New Years Eve.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woman who throws all of her bills on the fire?

Bernadette

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HGS155
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is.

I told him, "My door is always open".

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report

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