Microsoft note-d
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︎ Mar 29 2020
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, βItβs not working. I canβt take it any more. Iβm going to my momβs.β
I opened the fridge door, the light came on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?
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︎ Jun 19 2020
I wanted to make a post with a joke about musical notes. I first attempted to use Do or Mi, but in the end I went with
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︎ Aug 30 2020
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called '1,001 cures for itches.'
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
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︎ Jun 01 2020
well on that note
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︎ Jun 21 2020
What is the difference between a dollar note and a penny?
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︎ Jul 11 2020
Just dropping a short note to all at r/dadjokes
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︎ Jun 12 2020
I lost my baking recipe notes.
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︎ Jul 21 2020
I saw a radio the other day on sale for $1. It had a note stuck on it saying, βVolume stuck on fullβ
I though, βI canβt turn that downβ
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︎ May 15 2020
My partner is having a bad day at work, so I thought I would draw his favorite animal with a cute note.
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︎ Apr 22 2020
When L died on Death Note,
My eyes became very Watari, because I knew the end was Near.
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︎ May 14 2020
How does a T-rex take notes?
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︎ May 11 2020
Death note.....
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︎ Feb 03 2020
I saw I was running low on stickers at work so I made a note of it.
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︎ Dec 15 2019
I came up with a joke about accidental notes.
I thought it was really sharp, but I told my friends, and it just fell flat.
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︎ Apr 11 2020
if you're stealing someone's music you're taking notes
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︎ Feb 04 2020
They left a key-note :')
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︎ Apr 20 2019
Well on that note
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︎ Nov 29 2019
Murray Christmas Everyone!!! (Side note- I don't take credit for this, but it's too great not to share)
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︎ Dec 25 2019
My wife wrote me a note about the dimensions of her dresser.
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︎ Mar 27 2020
I lost my notes I was writing for my book called "1,001 ways to cure an itch."
Guess I'll have to start from scratch.
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︎ Jan 02 2020
My girlfriend left a note on my fridge this morning saying "this isn't working, bye"
I opened it up and it was working fine, so I'll just wait till she's home to ask her what she meant.
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︎ Sep 18 2019
and no one notes why...
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︎ Dec 01 2019
What is a pirates favourite musical note?
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︎ Nov 02 2018
It's a note worthy one, don't u think?
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︎ Oct 14 2019
Tech reviewers are just waiting for Samsung to release a mediocre new Note device just to say "It's not noteworthy"
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︎ Dec 08 2019
A cop left a nice note on my windshield to let me know I'd parked my car correctly...
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︎ Jul 15 2019
I came home and saw a note from my wife stuck on the fridge: βIβm sorry. This isnβt working. You take things too literally. Goodbye.β
She will be so happy when she finds out I ordered a new one.
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︎ Jul 28 2018
Get your 1 dollar notes out
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︎ Oct 29 2019
My wife left a note the fridge: this isn't working. I'm going to my mom's house.
I opened the fridge door, the light was on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?
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︎ Aug 25 2019
Keep finding notes to Self,
I wish I knew who Self was, as the last one I found tells me they have dementia and if they forget their pills today it could be fatal.
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︎ Dec 30 2019
I was using my sewing machine the other day and started making musical notes, then i realized....
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︎ Dec 18 2019
Where do cats write notes?
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︎ Nov 15 2019
Note 10 von 10
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︎ Sep 04 2019
If you take notes in History class are you then re-writing history?
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︎ Nov 25 2019
My girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying "This isn't working, goodbye"
What a liar! I opened the fridge and it's working just fine.
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︎ May 18 2019
Someone literally saved my ass by putting this note on some seats on the tram this morning
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︎ Aug 11 2019
This one note keeps messing me up though
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︎ Mar 12 2019
I ate an edible and wrote my boss a note before I quit my job.
At least I left on a high note.
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︎ Oct 04 2019
My GF leaves me notes around the apartment...
Today I found this one.
Edit: Wow, thanks for the positive responses. Here are some more notes from her. Thank you reddit, for making my girlfriend famous for a day, she quite enjoyed your comments after a hard day's work :)
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︎ Apr 11 2017
My gf left a note on the fridge: this is not working, im going to my mom's house.
I opened the fridge's door, the light came on, the juice was cold. What the hell did she mean?
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︎ Nov 18 2018
The sous chef put a note in my eggs
He said "I thought you wanted an omletter"
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︎ Sep 08 2019
My buddy Cliff committed suicide last week but the note he left is all smudged so we'll never know why.
It's a real cliff hanger.
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︎ Aug 08 2019
Did you know a note can make a tone?
All you have to do is rearrange the letters.
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︎ Sep 04 2019
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today... She wrote it on a sticky note
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︎ Jul 13 2019
I was told to take notes when they first hired me
Thatβs probably the last time Iβll be working for a phone store.
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︎ Sep 12 2019
Happy New Year! Iβd say 2018 ended on a good note.
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︎ Jan 01 2019
My girlfriend leaves loving pun filled notes for me every morning, today's made me laugh...
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︎ Jun 03 2019
My mom said she had trouble hitting the high notes in a karaoke song.
She said it was because she was too short and didn't have the right shoes on.
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︎ Jun 16 2019
I saw people putting notes at the bottom of a telephone pole. I asked them what they were doing and one person said:
"We are putting comments under this post"
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︎ Apr 04 2019
What if L from Death note was dumb?
That would make him a weight.
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︎ Jul 13 2019
I have a problem with remembering mental notes, so I came up with a solution.
If only I could remember what it was....
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︎ Jun 21 2019
A traffic cop went to the trouble of leaving a note under the wipers to let me know I'd positioned my car correctly.
It said "Parking fine". So that was nice.
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︎ Apr 05 2017
A girl with no breasts went to music class. The music teacher calls her out for playing the wrong notes.
He told her she was too flat.
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︎ Apr 26 2019
I have a problem where i keep forgetting mental notes, so i came up with a solution.
If only I could remember what it was...
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︎ Jun 22 2019
Did you here the note was hired by the composer?
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︎ Jun 28 2019
I'm unobservant, and I keep bumping into things, so I made a note of it.
π︎ 1k
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︎ Oct 08 2016
A man gets a Β£100 note tattooed to his Penis
His wife says "What have you done that for?"
The man replys "2 reasons, first of, I like to watch my money grow. Secondly the next time you feel like blowing a Β£100 you don't need to leave the house to do it!
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︎ May 29 2019
Mental note
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︎ Jun 11 2019
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︎ Feb 06 2019
What note does a punk hit effortlessly while singing?
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︎ Mar 22 2019
What do musicians use to play longer notes?
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︎ Apr 06 2016
Note: the Warsaw Ballet doesn't appreciate being referred to as "Pole dancers."
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︎ May 16 2018
My reed organ never seems to play the right notes...
I guess it wasnβt manufactured in accordionce with the standards.
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︎ Apr 23 2019
The only note I can hit is an A#
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︎ Mar 10 2019
I would write you a note with this pencil...
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 31 2019
A new student transferred into my class today. He didn't speak English and the note he gave me said his name was Jkmn.
Since we didn't know how to pronounce his name, we just called him Noel.
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︎ May 14 2018
My doctor looked away as he gave me a note saying that my hand was broken
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︎ Feb 03 2019
[from a chat] friend: really random side note: my sleeve smells like jam and idk why
Me: were you having a jamboree earlier?
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︎ Mar 31 2019
A note for the mods of r/dadjokes
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︎ Jan 28 2018
Ending it on a good note
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︎ Jun 26 2018
So Im surprising my girlfriend with bacon today. And I attached this note.
imgur.com/ZFe9QB8
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︎ Jan 26 2016
In the supermarket, my son and I saw a cashier holding a customer's note up to the light.
"Is that counterfeit?" my son asked.
I said, "Don't be silly, son. Counters don't exercise."
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︎ Nov 24 2018
A disease has been discovered where musicians temporarily lost their ability to tell which notes are which when sharing an automobile with a stranger.
Medical experts have named it "carpool tonal syndrome".
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︎ Mar 19 2016
Why did the pianist continue to play on the piano, even when some notes didnβt work?
Because it was only a minor inconvenience.
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︎ Jan 04 2019
On a sadder note...
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︎ Feb 08 2018
The bass notes in classical music give me a headache
My doctor says it's just lower Bach pain.
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︎ Dec 26 2017
I got arrested for taking notes at a concert. Is that legal?
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︎ Feb 17 2017
What musical note does a piano make when falling down a mine shaft?
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︎ Jul 10 2017
These are note your average puns. Samsung makes a 4 minute ad about their new Galaxy Note 4. And they did note make fun of a single other phone
androidauthority.com/noteβ¦
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︎ Sep 29 2014
My girlfriend too leaves notes around the house.
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︎ Apr 12 2017
My wife was being helpful. A visit from Dad made sure we never got rid of the note
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︎ Aug 24 2013
I left my Dad a note with $10 attached asking him if I could use his PayPal. This was his response.
imgur.com/wz4opHm
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︎ Nov 11 2013
What do you call something that can only play single notes of music and can connect you with anyone?
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︎ Jun 13 2018
Makes me think of the note 7
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︎ Jun 24 2017
Had a friend loading up those large poster-sized post-it notes for a meeting...
Told him he should stick with it.
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︎ May 15 2018
The chocolate covered strawberry order REQUIRED a personalized note...
https://i.redd.it/b3701faordg01.jpg
Yes, it was the biggest eye-roll anyone has ever seen.
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︎ Feb 15 2018
A dollar bill goes up to a Euro note
and starts making self-depreciating jokes
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︎ Oct 13 2013
Why couldn't the musical note drink his beer?
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︎ Jul 21 2016
Every time at the end of a song at band practice I play a note on the highest fret on my guitar.
They always ask me why I do that. I tell them, βWe gotta end it on a high noteβ
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︎ Apr 05 2018
Note to self: don't dad joke in the office
Senior Designer: We have a new designer joining us next week. Her name is J'mawsa. I've seen her work and she's really awesome.
Me: Would you say she's... J'mawesome?
5 seconds of silence followed by groans.
Thankfully I wasn't fired.
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︎ Oct 14 2014
Note 7
Despite Apple selling record numbers of iPhone 7 units, I think Samsung will definitely be remembered as the hottest tech company of the year.
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︎ Sep 16 2016
Someone leaked the prop notes for Thor 3
They have to use a lot of low-key lighting.
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︎ Sep 28 2016
Where do cats write notes?
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︎ Oct 30 2019
Where do cats write notes?
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︎ Nov 09 2019
Where do cats write notes?
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︎ Nov 14 2019
What is a pirateβs favourite musical note?
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︎ Nov 09 2018
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