Microsoft note-d
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bongnazi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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My wife left a note on the fridge that said, β€œIt’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.”

I opened the fridge door, the light came on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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I wanted to make a post with a joke about musical notes. I first attempted to use Do or Mi, but in the end I went with

a Re post.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called '1,001 cures for itches.'

I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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well on that note
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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What is the difference between a dollar note and a penny?

99 cents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abhinavram2002
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Just dropping a short note to all at r/dadjokes

... Staccato

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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I lost my baking recipe notes.

Luckily, I had a bakeup.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UJthanos69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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I saw a radio the other day on sale for $1. It had a note stuck on it saying, β€œVolume stuck on full”

I though, β€œI can’t turn that down”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wepehe
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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My partner is having a bad day at work, so I thought I would draw his favorite animal with a cute note.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cjmeoow
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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When L died on Death Note,

My eyes became very Watari, because I knew the end was Near.

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πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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How does a T-rex take notes?

Using shorthand

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πŸ‘€︎ u/midget_messiah
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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Death note.....
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πŸ‘€︎ u/givinhi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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I saw I was running low on stickers at work so I made a note of it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vt8919
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
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I came up with a joke about accidental notes.

I thought it was really sharp, but I told my friends, and it just fell flat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sammiedontsurf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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if you're stealing someone's music you're taking notes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maxisrichtofen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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They left a key-note :')
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jyotiiiii
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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Well on that note
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TyRoland06
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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Murray Christmas Everyone!!! (Side note- I don't take credit for this, but it's too great not to share)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tchskippy25
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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My wife wrote me a note about the dimensions of her dresser.

It was very deep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Threeatatime1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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I lost my notes I was writing for my book called "1,001 ways to cure an itch."

Guess I'll have to start from scratch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flashblazer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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My girlfriend left a note on my fridge this morning saying "this isn't working, bye"

I opened it up and it was working fine, so I'll just wait till she's home to ask her what she meant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wteyart
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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and no one notes why...
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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What is a pirates favourite musical note?

The high C.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rimjobsarentbad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
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It's a note worthy one, don't u think?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amitlion2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Tech reviewers are just waiting for Samsung to release a mediocre new Note device just to say "It's not noteworthy"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fakt_adolf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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A cop left a nice note on my windshield to let me know I'd parked my car correctly...

It said "Parking Fine"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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I came home and saw a note from my wife stuck on the fridge: β€œI’m sorry. This isn’t working. You take things too literally. Goodbye.”

She will be so happy when she finds out I ordered a new one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
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Get your 1 dollar notes out
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CocozuBR
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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My wife left a note the fridge: this isn't working. I'm going to my mom's house.

I opened the fridge door, the light was on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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Keep finding notes to Self,

I wish I knew who Self was, as the last one I found tells me they have dementia and if they forget their pills today it could be fatal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thecowgoesmoomoo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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I was using my sewing machine the other day and started making musical notes, then i realized....

I'm a Singer songwriter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bullet_Catcher
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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Where do cats write notes?

Scratch Paper!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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Note 10 von 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shoman_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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If you take notes in History class are you then re-writing history?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karlinsven
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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My girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying "This isn't working, goodbye"

What a liar! I opened the fridge and it's working just fine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeepersCreepers00
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
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Someone literally saved my ass by putting this note on some seats on the tram this morning
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ejgee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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This one note keeps messing me up though
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomDaNub3719
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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I ate an edible and wrote my boss a note before I quit my job.

At least I left on a high note.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PowerPineapple2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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My GF leaves me notes around the apartment...

Today I found this one.

Edit: Wow, thanks for the positive responses. Here are some more notes from her. Thank you reddit, for making my girlfriend famous for a day, she quite enjoyed your comments after a hard day's work :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SLOBaron
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
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My gf left a note on the fridge: this is not working, im going to my mom's house.

I opened the fridge's door, the light came on, the juice was cold. What the hell did she mean?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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The sous chef put a note in my eggs

He said "I thought you wanted an omletter"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drbobsled
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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My buddy Cliff committed suicide last week but the note he left is all smudged so we'll never know why.

It's a real cliff hanger.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LadySparta729
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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Did you know a note can make a tone?

All you have to do is rearrange the letters.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tsaot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today... She wrote it on a sticky note
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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I was told to take notes when they first hired me

That’s probably the last time I’ll be working for a phone store.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fat-bandit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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Happy New Year! I’d say 2018 ended on a good note.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Biz_Ascot_Junco
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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My girlfriend leaves loving pun filled notes for me every morning, today's made me laugh...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/littleword1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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My mom said she had trouble hitting the high notes in a karaoke song.

She said it was because she was too short and didn't have the right shoes on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WEEBERMAN
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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I saw people putting notes at the bottom of a telephone pole. I asked them what they were doing and one person said:

"We are putting comments under this post"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brandschain
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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What if L from Death note was dumb?

That would make him a weight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaushik_220601
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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I have a problem with remembering mental notes, so I came up with a solution.

If only I could remember what it was....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrammerTheGamer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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A traffic cop went to the trouble of leaving a note under the wipers to let me know I'd positioned my car correctly.

It said "Parking fine". So that was nice.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2017
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A girl with no breasts went to music class. The music teacher calls her out for playing the wrong notes.

He told her she was too flat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelonSharkGaming
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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I have a problem where i keep forgetting mental notes, so i came up with a solution.

If only I could remember what it was...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrammerTheGamer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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Did you here the note was hired by the composer?

Yeah it’s on his staff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goatfucker614
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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I'm unobservant, and I keep bumping into things, so I made a note of it.

Bβ™―

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feet2Big
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2016
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A man gets a Β£100 note tattooed to his Penis

His wife says "What have you done that for?"

The man replys "2 reasons, first of, I like to watch my money grow. Secondly the next time you feel like blowing a Β£100 you don't need to leave the house to do it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeevesPoltergist
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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Mental note

Actual notes work better

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BLAZEtms
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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For all you D&D Dads...please take notes. reddit.com/r/DnD/comments…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phoenix42007
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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What note does a punk hit effortlessly while singing?

The anarch-E.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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What do musicians use to play longer notes?

An extension chord!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cornbread_curfew
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2016
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Note: the Warsaw Ballet doesn't appreciate being referred to as "Pole dancers."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
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My reed organ never seems to play the right notes...

I guess it wasn’t manufactured in accordionce with the standards.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fluffyglof
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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The only note I can hit is an A#

Cause I always B flat

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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I would write you a note with this pencil...

... but it's pointless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/davechri
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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A new student transferred into my class today. He didn't speak English and the note he gave me said his name was Jkmn.

Since we didn't know how to pronounce his name, we just called him Noel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/197708156EQUJ5
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
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My doctor looked away as he gave me a note saying that my hand was broken

It was hard to grasp

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_a_dum_bum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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[from a chat] friend: really random side note: my sleeve smells like jam and idk why

Me: were you having a jamboree earlier?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reeper147
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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A note for the mods of r/dadjokes

🎡

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CJSJ15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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Ending it on a good note
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SidSidderSiddest
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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So Im surprising my girlfriend with bacon today. And I attached this note. imgur.com/ZFe9QB8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ldane
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2016
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In the supermarket, my son and I saw a cashier holding a customer's note up to the light.

"Is that counterfeit?" my son asked.

I said, "Don't be silly, son. Counters don't exercise."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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A disease has been discovered where musicians temporarily lost their ability to tell which notes are which when sharing an automobile with a stranger.

Medical experts have named it "carpool tonal syndrome".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2016
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Why did the pianist continue to play on the piano, even when some notes didn’t work?

Because it was only a minor inconvenience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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On a sadder note...

D#

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nimja_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
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The bass notes in classical music give me a headache

My doctor says it's just lower Bach pain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkaic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2017
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I got arrested for taking notes at a concert. Is that legal?
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imnoteli
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2017
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What musical note does a piano make when falling down a mine shaft?

...a flat minor

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kennethjc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2017
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These are note your average puns. Samsung makes a 4 minute ad about their new Galaxy Note 4. And they did note make fun of a single other phone androidauthority.com/note…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kintamanate
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2014
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My girlfriend too leaves notes around the house.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Isaac22877822
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2017
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My wife was being helpful. A visit from Dad made sure we never got rid of the note
πŸ‘︎ 814
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stegasp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2013
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I left my Dad a note with $10 attached asking him if I could use his PayPal. This was his response. imgur.com/wz4opHm
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NCHeavyHunter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2013
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What do you call something that can only play single notes of music and can connect you with anyone?

A chord-less phone.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mister-Bear
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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Makes me think of the note 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blondedane83
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2017
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Had a friend loading up those large poster-sized post-it notes for a meeting...

Told him he should stick with it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ponderingfox
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
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The chocolate covered strawberry order REQUIRED a personalized note...

https://i.redd.it/b3701faordg01.jpg

Yes, it was the biggest eye-roll anyone has ever seen.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ittimjones
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2018
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A dollar bill goes up to a Euro note

and starts making self-depreciating jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/puns4life
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2013
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Why couldn't the musical note drink his beer?

Because he was A minor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyRichard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2016
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Every time at the end of a song at band practice I play a note on the highest fret on my guitar.

They always ask me why I do that. I tell them, β€œWe gotta end it on a high note”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TortoiseMan510
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
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Note to self: don't dad joke in the office

Senior Designer: We have a new designer joining us next week. Her name is J'mawsa. I've seen her work and she's really awesome.

Me: Would you say she's... J'mawesome?

5 seconds of silence followed by groans.

Thankfully I wasn't fired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattityahu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2014
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Note 7

Despite Apple selling record numbers of iPhone 7 units, I think Samsung will definitely be remembered as the hottest tech company of the year.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Conniption26
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2016
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Someone leaked the prop notes for Thor 3

They have to use a lot of low-key lighting.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thoma5nator
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2016
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Where do cats write notes?

Scratch Paper!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do cats write notes?

Scratch Paper!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do cats write notes?

Scratch Paper!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a pirate’s favourite musical note?

The high C

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eluceadtenebras
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report

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