The day was raining like fish blown up by dynamite. The only jacket I had for the situation was fire Red with layered protection from such fish. I'm going to my college computer lab, trying to get my 24 hours of time in there done. It requires you to sign in with your student ID.
"May I see you card?" the teacher asks.
"Sure... So, how much time do I have allotted?" I asked after she signed me in.
"Huh? Oh, wait, sorry, can I see your card again? "
"Wait, I don't own a Cardigan"
Being an English teacher, she smiled and caught it quickly, "No, your card, but your jacket might suffice otherwise."
Edit: This might be too much setup for a stiff joke.
Only been getting 25% off.
Straight flush
I’m having a hard time dealing with this.
It was my climb-it change.
Sharon is Karen
Must be from my Uncle Ben.
“You know, one would have been enough.”
Me: its a sweater and no you can't have it.
When it's Solid-air
Cost me an arm and a leg.
I’m a Rachel Brosnafan.
It meant a great deal to me.
So I am trying to think of something to put on our family’s Christmas card. The only thing I can think of is “hindsight is 2020”.
I am however 100% sure you amazing people can come up with something much better for this dumpster fire of a year.
The King of Spade.
because his teacher was crappe
The therapist looked up from his paperwork and said, "I'm busy now. I'll deal with you later."
Love Shaq
So far they have spent less than her everyday, so I'm not saying anything.
And now I'm paying for it.
5-card stud or stirrup poker?
It shuffles.
(a true dad joke, from my 9-year old)
They sold them in packs of 12.
You pay for it the next day.
Me: well; someone has to pay the devil’s dues
Friend: damn it.
The captain was standing on the deck!
A few years ago, was playing a card game with my frisbee team. We were competing in a frisbee tournament for spring break, and we had discs lying all around the Airbnb we were sleeping in. After playing the first few hands, I realized I didn't know what to do with my old cards.
I asked my teammate where I should put my used up cards. They pointed to some cards lying in a frisbee.
It was a disc card, discard pile.
Me: You know I don’t own any sweaters.
Because they kept trying to read between the lines
I was in solitaire confinement.
Cashews
“You know, one would have been enough.”
I’m having a hard time dealing with this.
He turned towards me and said, "One would've been enough, son."
I’m finding it hard to deal with this.
Y’know, one would have been enough.
