What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?

Sir Render

πŸ‘︎ 133
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
Never pick a fight with numbers

They have a lot of fours.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/legoatdalek
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
What do beauticians do after they have a big fight?

They make-up.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
Never start a pillow fight with Death...

...unless you're sure you can handle the Reaper cushions.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
At my wedding, my wife's family got into a fight with each other, the police were called, and then they ran from the cops.

So now my in-laws are out-laws.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/salawm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cosmetologists that got into a fight?

It's okay though, I heard they did make-up

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
What are butchers always starting fights?

They got beef.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Buschman98
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.

He still has the right to remain silent.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Batman who just returned from a fight and got his ass kicked?

A Bruised Wayne

πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thespeedophile
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
I nearly got into a fight with a guy at the transplant ward.

"Do you want a piece of me?" I asked him.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
A had a fight with a conspiracy theorist.

I just can't believe it!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeanW137
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
Someone wanted to fight about whether I was wearing a neck-tie or a cravat.

I don’t know who was right, either way my ascot kicked.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joeocal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
There was a fight between 69 and 70

71

πŸ‘︎ 171
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crocflamingo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
I got in a fist fight with some movers and won

They were terrible boxers

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
I got into a fight with an employee at my local hardware store today!

He asked if I wanted decking... Lucky I got the first punch in

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Micktheprivz
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
I heard there was a fight in the kitchen and...

a fish was battered!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HarmoniousDroid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
What happens if you fight a dinosaur?

You get jurrassicked

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bonkers2544
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
If two vegetarians had a fight..

Would it be called a beef?

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/j2ui
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
My friends told me I would never win a fight.

It was a real punch in the gut.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLonelyKerbal
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9 /r/Jokes/comments/haoqkm/…
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arunie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
A man tried to start a fight by throwing dough, shredded cheese, and tomato sauce at me.

So I said, β€œYou wanna pizza me?”

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
If two vegans got into a fight...

is it still considered a beef?

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rowingforfun
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
Unfortunately, Superman won’t be able to fight Dracula this evening...

He won’t go near the crypt tonight.

πŸ‘︎ 195
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
I'm selling books on how to avoid saying the wrong thing and getting into fights.

Who wants some?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
Two Engineering Buddies in an Electrifying Pun Fight
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gaubstopper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
And then the fight started…

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
When I heard about the big fight, I rushed to the arena in anticipation...

Only to be let down by the fact that the event turned out to be two people arguing about the movie β€œBig.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
If two vegans get in a fight,

is it still considered a beef?

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
My friend asked me if I saw the Stickman mma fight

But I couldn’t afford to pay for the paper view

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/darraghq16
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
Anyone remember the first Lennox Lewis - Evander Holyfield fight? I heard it was a black tie event.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/puppylove1000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
If you get into a pillow fight with death...

Be prepared for the reaper cushions.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ToothSleuth86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
You know what would be funny? A large group of people protesting, getting into fights with police and destroying property.

It would be a riot!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flumanchu
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo got into a fight..

It ended with a draw

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pickle_mateo
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fight in the biscuit tin?

The bandit hit the penguin over the head with a club, tied him to a wagon wheel with a blue ribbon, and made his breakaway in a taxi, escaping along the rocky road to mars, the milky way, and the Galaxy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BadgerEatCheese
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fight between film actors?

Star Wars

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBirb_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
Shark: Once, I had a tough fight with an octopus.

He was well-armed.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/khAngnghiEmm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
420 and 421 got into a fight yesterday

421

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pax_flash
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fight at the fish and chip shop?

Apparently someone got battered

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fatjesus10
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
I got in a fight with frequency the other day

I lost and it still Hertz

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
I don’t like Star Wars fights

Once you’ve seen episode 1, you’ve seen them maul.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Haarp_1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
What is the first rule of fight club

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jagzon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

They don’t have guts!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you beat a clansmen in a fight?

A KKKO

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fight between movie actors?

Star wars

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trusk89
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight, when one draws a line in the dirt and slurs, β€œIf you cross this line, I’ll hit you in the face.”

That was the punchline...

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I took my snails' shells off and told them to fight

It was a real slugfest!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fight between the two drunk tennis players?

I didn’t see it, but I’m sure it was quite the racket.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShySwimmerGuy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
And that's how the fight started your honour
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the General who lost both his arms, use to fight his wars?

His Leggies.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mcflufin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight.
πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/m8tt_4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
I saw 2 cows fight yesterday,

I guess you can say they had a beef with eachother

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sleepcow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
I was getting drafted to fight in WW3

But I didn't have to go because Iran

πŸ‘︎ 126
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Carpenters98
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.

The odds were against me.

Edit: Thanks so much!! This is my first award!

πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SwitchGuru
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Never challenge Death to a pillow fight.

Unless you’re prepared to handle the reaper cushions.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sk1wbw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The town's sheriff, who was also a prolific painter, was once attacked by seven men but managed to fight them off single-handedly. It was because....

He was a Marshal artist.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EvilSandwichMan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face."

That was the punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 275
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skylly100
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Never get in a fight with a T-rex.

You'll get jurasskicked..

πŸ‘︎ 158
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dark side Force user who can't fight?

A Sithy

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I-have-eaten-ass
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
Mike Tyson always boasts about being a superhero after a fight

β€œI’m Thor” he says.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brandt610
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
Never fight dinosaurs..

You’ll get Jurasskicked

πŸ‘︎ 129
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ustydud
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to fight a fraction once

It wasn’t a very rational decision though.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xakik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
I challenged number 1 to a fight, but he bought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9

The odds were against me

πŸ‘︎ 747
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fl1ppp3rs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Got in a fight with a sea creature that I thought was my friend,

turned out he was anemone.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stonefly_C
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
Who would win in a fight. Athletes or Prisoners?

It's hard to say, they have their pros and their cons.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
Why should you never fight a dinosaur

You’ll get jurasskicked

(This was my friends)

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stinky-socks123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
Never fight a dinosaur.

You’ll get jurass-kicked.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/That-Big-Man-J
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
I'll fight you with my bear hands!!
πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shahyan007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you break up a fight between two blind men?

Yell β€œMy money’s on the one with the knife!”

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/grouchyjarhead
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Steve Harvey and his wife got into a fight

It was a family feud

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coolman965
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
It's a fight between the 21st and 23rd letters of the alphabet.

It's u v w.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NewSwaraelia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight

Socket in the jaw

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
Do you know why you shouldn't fight the music?

It beats me.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TopGoodman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
I saw a group of snails take off their shells and fight with each other.

It was a real slugfest.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Anakin was really hot in his fight with obi-wan

He was smokin hot

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigNibbaDicc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
Helpful tip for a knife fight
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ferrybig
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
One time I got in a fight with a guy named Lance. He had a twin brother named Lee. I punched Lance in the face, not realizing it was his brother who I had punched.

I said "I thought you were Lance, I apologize sinceyourelee".

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VGK9Logan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?

Because it was well armed.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fight between two crackers?

A battle of Ritz!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arceiss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Drawn out fights can be so grating
πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirRettfordIII
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Never challenge death to a pillow fight

Unless you’re ready to face the reaper cushions

πŸ‘︎ 222
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What part of the body always loses in a fight?

Da’ feet.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeppyJeppy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?

You want a piece of me?

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VikingLord17
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How do plumbers get out of fights?

They tap out.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wimple007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
This fight is going to be 'Wild'
πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/convict99
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you think Dinosaurs are hard to fight?

Imagine Dragons.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MemeOscar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
Flight of Fight
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Creek217
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
69 is afraid of 70. Because when they had a fight once, 71.

No sexual jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mighty__Tor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fight between E.T. and a nerd with no social life?

Alien vs Redditor.

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?

Sir Render.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordOfBeingCool
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.

He still has the right to remain silent.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?

Sir Render.

πŸ‘︎ 102
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, β€œIf you cross this line, I’ll hit you in the face.”

That was the punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A mime in our town was arrested yesterday after he got into a bar fight and broke his left arm.

He still has the right to remain silent.

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Never challenge death to a pillow fight.

Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saibotspons-alien
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report

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