A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..

.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
If your ever in a sword fight, try to chop their feet off

Then you will de-feet him

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OJAMZ23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
What happens when you fight a dinosaur?

You get jurasskicked

πŸ‘︎ 283
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNaJoKing
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
Never challenge the grim reaper to a pillow fight....

Unless you’re ready for the reaper cushions!

πŸ‘︎ 159
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skrimps1000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
If two vegans get in a fight...

... is it still considered a beef?

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sault9
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
A couple fight
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Birthday_Euphoric
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
Boxers don’t have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is?

They don't fancy each other.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
A mime broke his left arm in a bar fight and got arrested,

He still has the right to remain silent.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/poshnoshlosh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
Q: what was it like to fight Medusa?

A: At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frudedude
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
Why shouldn’t you ever fight a dinosaur?

You’ll just get Jurasskicked.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikehiler2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cat who walks funny but can win any fight?

Catty Wup Ass

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sf340flier
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet?

I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don't know either.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
I got into a fight with my brother on the way to church today because he was positive that Jesus was an Intel processor guy....

When anybody with half a brain clearly knows he has a Ryzen

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yltercesksumnolE
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
My monkey friend says that he can use martial arts to fight off disease. I think he's tricking me and he says

Ape will fu ills

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrueAidooo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
I got into a fight with 1,3,5,7 and 9

The odds were against me.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdsfrmbk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when one owl samurai wins a fight with another owl samurai?

A hoot and a half!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
What do you call a venue designed for food fights?

An all you can yeet buffet.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PagingDrLecter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
Why did the torn piece of paper beat the regular piece of paper in a fight

Because he was ripped

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Komebak
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy that lost a fight by getting kicked in the mouth?

He now knows the taste of defeet

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TesticularBacon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
How did the octopus beat a shark in a fight??

It was well armed!

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fredwardofox
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
I got into a fight with my Mexican neighbor and he started to make train noises while holding a gun

He said "I'm going to choo choo"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
What did the man say during the fight scene in the Lion King?

β€œPay attention, I think this may be the mane event!”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmperorCowzilla
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
Why don't professional boxers have sex before a fight ?

Thy probably don't like each other.

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fight between 2019 and 2020?

2021

πŸ‘︎ 247
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
I got into a fight with my feet but...

I got defeeted

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LastLeave8770
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
What do you get when David fights Robin hood?

A stone culled fox.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porkeria21
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
Saw two members of a string section of an orchestra get in a fight...

They should know violins is never the answer..

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feral1991
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
19 and 20 had a fight

21

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPeanut76
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?

Sir Render

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shininglice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
As a rule of thumb ALWAYS have a squid on your side when you're in a fight

they're well armed

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bronzeaardvark
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
2 drunk guys getting into a fight. One gets up and draws a line on the ground. He says "you cross this line and I'll punch you in the face".

That was the punchline...

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinnen1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
I had a terrible fight with my left ear.

And that was the last time I heard from it.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pifgig
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Remind me not to pillow fight with the wife...

Currently sat in hospital with a concushion.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the big fight in the washroom??

Two bums got wiped!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shyguy_1031
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
What did the tree say to his buddy, who was about to get in a fight?

I got your bark.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwarerulz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
I had a fight with my wife the other day about my terrible sense of direction.

I just packed my bags and right.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImaCowBRO
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
What happens when 2 triangles fight?

They square off.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
You know what a fight between Cloud Strife and Hero is Smash is called...

A square off!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
Never Challenge Death to a Pillow fight.....

...Unless you are prepared for the Reaper Cushions.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrikkWikkid5150
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
Never fight a dinosaur

You'll get jurasskicked

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BrianBash
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
Never start a fight with a dinosaur

You'll get JurassKicked

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
2019 and 2020 got into a fight.
πŸ‘︎ 172
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guyshu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I got in a fight with 1,3,5,7, and 9

The odds were not in my favor

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperNova7039
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I got in a fight with 1,3,5,7, and 9

The odds were not in my favor

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperNova7039
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
19 and 20 got in a fight

21

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/randompigeon3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
What do you call a knight that’s afraid to fight ?

SIR RENDER

πŸ‘︎ 158
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πŸ‘€︎ u/son-of-CRABS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
2020 and 2021 had a fight.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aminkatyb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Why should you never fight a dinosaur?

You would get Jurasskicked!

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report

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