Hey, anyone know any good Sword fighting puns ? Trying to think of any
.. words with a dual meaning.
It’s kind of sad that Christianity, Judaism, and Islam have been fighting each other for centuries.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..
.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
I recently finished fire fighting school
It’s where I got my first degree
Were they really fighting?
Or were they just Joshing around?
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot
I saw two snails fighting the other day.
They were really slugging it out.
True story: As kids, my sister and I were fighting over the TV remote and it got heated. The remote flew across the room and a couple AAA batteries fell out. My sister threw one at me, and I grabbed a nearby salt shaker and threw it at her.
My mother, who was watching this go down, just laughs and says, "Assault and battery!"
She then left the room, cackling.
What did the gardener say to the two men who were fighting?
What did the Queen Bee say to the worker bees who were fighting?
She asked them to bee-hive
2020 and 2021 were fighting for the "Worst Year Ever" award.
Looks like Earth & Mars are fighting again
Earth just told Mars to "get a life"
My town just set the record for the longest line fighting each other
You could see the punch line coming from a mile away
“So, the US is pulling out of the war right? Like, we don’t care about their fighting anymore?”
Why did Ken shrink his street fighting friend's blue box?
He heard you have to reduce Ryu's recycle.
My wife was fighting me about doing our kitchen in granite or laminate. She finally told me that we just can’t afford granite right now.
I have to admit... it was a pretty good counter argument.
What crime fighting duo hangs out at the noodle shop?
Why were there no fighting games under the Christmas tree?
A Game of Groans.
> Wordplay is coming...
Two skeletons we’re fighting
One of them said: i’ve got a bone to pick with you!
What do you call two gamers sword fighting?
I told me therapist, “Last night, I had a nightmare that I was fighting Jason Bourne and Will Hunting at the same time.”
Therapist: I’m glad that you are finally battling your Damons.
Two flies were fighting on a toilet seat
What kind of house do ninja turtles live in when they go on vacation from living in the sewers and fighting crime?
My wife and I keep fighting over my terrible sense of direction.
I got so mad I packed up and right.
A toilet, a urinal and a very drunk sink are all at the front of a club, fighting and arguing with the bouncer to allow them and their extremely intoxicated friend inside.
Repeatedly shouting “Let that sink in!”
What do you call a crime fighting dog that can swim underwater?
Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were fighting once when Draco decided to curse Harry with a Hair Growing Spell that grows hair instantly. Ron passed by and said:
Everybody was Kung Flu Fighting
What’s a non-meat eaters preferred fighting style?
Somebody tries fighting me while I was holding lollipop
Needless to say, he got sucker punched
Watching John Wick 2 the other night. While Keanu and Common are fighting while both holding the knife the tables turn and Keanu flips the knife around and thrusts it into Commons chest...again while both holding the grip. To which I turn to to my family and say
At least the both have something "in" common.
I went to the butcher the other day but ended up fighting him
Cause he asked if i wanted some beef
A couple is divorcing in court, and they are fighting for custody of their only child:
The woman tries to pity the judge:
-Judge, I carried this child 9 months in my belly, it is the flesh of my flesh and it comes directly to me!
The judge is moved and says:
-Right mam, but now, lets listen to your husband's arguments.
The man prefers to use his pragmatic side, and says:
-Judge, when I put my coin in the vending machine,Is the can mine or is it to the machine?
Why can't Batman, even with all his crime fighting, reduce Gotham's crime?
Because his partner is always Robin.
What happens when a closet goes into fighting
When you pull up to two vegans fighting...
I heard the garbagemen fighting the other day
What do you call 2 movie stars fighting.
2019 and 2020 were fighting and