Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are locked in battle, and Vader says to Luke, "I know what you're getting for Christmas." Luke says, "No, that's impossible, how could that be?" Vader leans in closer, their lightsabers crackling under the pressure, and he replies...

I felt your presents!

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Most people consider the Battle of Gettysburg the turning point of the American Civil War

For the Confederacy, it all went South from there

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/speedoc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
With all the personal battles we had to go through last year

I guess we can finally say 2020 won :/

Happy new year people!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LAL99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
The battle raged on for almost a yarrr
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Davebelieves
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Get in a pun battle with me, and I’ll have to put on my...
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Buglepost
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
After a long and difficult battle with 2020, unfortunately...

2021

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Said_It_in_Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
I heard that it was very foggy during the last battle of WWII

The Germans could nazi each other

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZuluWarlord69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Nobody expected this Knight in the battle.
πŸ‘︎ 105
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/atreyudevil
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What can a hip hop battle rapper use for protection against the harshest rhymes?

Bubble rap

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Battle for superiority
πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarlungs110466
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rap battle between two lizards? A reptile diss function
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor.

Actually it's probably more of a knight mare.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What would you call your knee if it engages in a rap battle? Disney
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hellgirlxoxo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cooking battle between a Spaniard and a Jamaican

A jerk off

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NickHilbe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL there was a cow caught in the crossfire of one of the WWII battles.

It’s rarely mentioned by historians though because it was only considered cow-lateral damage.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I-Fucked-YourMom
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
This Sacramento comedy show is basically a pun-themed rap battle

A few years ago, we started a show that I quite frankly never thought would work.

Nearly four years later, including two sold out appearances at San Francisco Sketchfest and a local TV featurette, our show "Capitol PUNishment" is now streaming on Twitch Friday night at 8:30pm PST.

I hope it's ok to post this in here. If not, feel free to remove with no hard feelings. Just encouraging pun lovers to check out what is best described as "a fast-paced, in-the-moment spectacle that combines everything you love about gameshows, rap-battles, and "dad" jokes, into a unique and hilarious competitive format."

Our channel is twitch.tv/capitolpuns
Here's a little video to help paint the picture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2RE9PgmfXo

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/capitolpuns
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
In the battle of the mint - the spearmint attacked the soft mints - all they could yell was..

"Where are the reinforcemints"

πŸ‘︎ 399
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rictusbb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Who was the Knight that was caught off guard in the battle field?

Sir Prise

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hey_peky
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
5 hour pun battle with my dad over text
πŸ‘︎ 958
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Malian_Carver
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a prearranged rap battle?

A diss appointment.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMasonX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Check out the battle scar on my arm. Made from scratch.
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gradymegalania
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a squid go into battle?

Well armed.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
After a lengthy court battle with British Airways Luggage Handlers...

I sadly lost my case.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/great_red_dragon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the German General say after the biggest battle in WW 1?

Verdun here...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ddgoodman92
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the soldier who lost one foot in a battle, and fought on, only to lose his other foot as well?

He was finally defeeted.

πŸ‘︎ 285
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wimple007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
A 7-year-old boy is sitting in court during his parents' custody battle.

He shows up wearing an Ottawa Senators jersey, so the judge asks "Are you a Sens fan?" The boy nods his head.

During the custody battle, he is later asked if he wants to live with his mom. His reply is "No, she beats me when drunk."

The judge asks in shock, "Okay, what about your father?"

The boy replies, "But he beats me every day when he comes home from a bad work day!"

With no other options, the jude states "We will have to send you to a foster home." The boy protests.

"Well, who do you want to live with?" the judge asks.

The boy thinks a moment and says ,"The Ottawa Senators. They're nice to people in need, and they don't beat anybody."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshP99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How does an octopus go into battle?

Well armed

πŸ‘︎ 196
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/katv1123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
In a battle of the numbers, evens were victorious

It was against all odds

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you lose both your feet in a battle?

Defeated

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lil_loh_loh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Their battle will be legendary!
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheEggPunster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the battle down at the church?

It was all, pew pew pew!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr-fuhrer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
On a photo shop battle about a deer with a spider web between its antlers
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NearlyHame
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
If Ben and Jerry broke up would they engage in a custardy battle?
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Which chemical liquid would destroy bacteria in a rap battle?

Dissingfectant

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Suss-it-out
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
The mΓ‘x pun battle reddit.com/r/MurderedByWo…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oofygoofy_11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know there was a Knight who always refused to fight in battle?

His name was Sir Render.

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Plz halp, I need as many vegetable puns as possible ASAP, the epic vegetable pun battle of the century is now being waged and I am quickly running out of ammo while the enemy shows no signs of retreat
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoofyGoober1999
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Kickstarter Pun-bait? No whey. Reddit, lend me your puns in this cheesy battle!
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MajesticMaje
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police.

He's now a seasoned veteran.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ntuso
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Battle of the Sentry!
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WonterWolf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My boyfriend and I have pun- battles
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SevenDoll
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the parents decide in the custody battle of their pyromaniac child?

He's arson

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
They were losing the battle, until they started chucking the tops of kitchen cupboards at the enemy.

It was a counter attack.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Peteman22
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Pun Battle!!!

Post your best (or worst) puns into the comment section, let's see what you guys can come up with

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Natoface
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor

Actually it's probably more of a knight mare

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PopeliusJones
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.