Ever heard about the woman who only did rap battles, when she was on her menstrual period?
They said she had a mean flow.....
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︎ Apr 11 2021
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasantβs head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Dukeβs son and knocked him off the battle field.
Yeah, apparently it was the first ever serf face to heir missile.
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︎ Mar 22 2021
what do you call it when apes battle?
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︎ Feb 09 2021
Why are French bakers so feared in battle?
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︎ Feb 05 2021
What do you call a serrated weapon that Polish people once used in battle?
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︎ Feb 01 2021
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are locked in battle, and Vader says to Luke, "I know what you're getting for Christmas." Luke says, "No, that's impossible, how could that be?" Vader leans in closer, their lightsabers crackling under the pressure, and he replies...
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︎ Dec 24 2020
I started reading this great book about the relationship between military battles and green vegetables.
Itβs called War and Peas.
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︎ Feb 06 2021
The battle raged on for almost a yarrr
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︎ Aug 11 2020
Get in a pun battle with me, and Iβll have to put on my...
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︎ Oct 25 2020
Most people consider the Battle of Gettysburg the turning point of the American Civil War
For the Confederacy, it all went South from there
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︎ Dec 12 2020
I heard that it was very foggy during the last battle of WWII
The Germans could nazi each other
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︎ Oct 24 2020
With all the personal battles we had to go through last year
I guess we can finally say 2020 won :/
Happy new year people!!
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︎ Dec 31 2020
After a long and difficult battle with 2020, unfortunately...
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Nobody expected this Knight in the battle.
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︎ Aug 31 2020
What can a hip hop battle rapper use for protection against the harshest rhymes?
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︎ Sep 28 2020
Battle for superiority
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︎ Jul 25 2020
I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor.
Actually it's probably more of a knight mare.
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︎ Jun 19 2019
What do you call a rap battle between two lizards? A reptile diss function
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︎ Jun 05 2020
In the battle of the mint - the spearmint attacked the soft mints - all they could yell was..
"Where are the reinforcemints"
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︎ Sep 23 2019
What would you call your knee if it engages in a rap battle? Disney
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︎ Apr 26 2020
This Sacramento comedy show is basically a pun-themed rap battle
A few years ago, we started a show that I quite frankly never thought would work.
Nearly four years later, including two sold out appearances at San Francisco Sketchfest and a local TV featurette, our show "Capitol PUNishment" is now streaming on Twitch Friday night at 8:30pm PST.
I hope it's ok to post this in here. If not, feel free to remove with no hard feelings. Just encouraging pun lovers to check out what is best described as "a fast-paced, in-the-moment spectacle that combines everything you love about gameshows, rap-battles, and "dad" jokes, into a unique and hilarious competitive format."
Our channel is twitch.tv/capitolpuns
Here's a little video to help paint the picture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2RE9PgmfXo
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︎ Apr 15 2020
TIL there was a cow caught in the crossfire of one of the WWII battles.
Itβs rarely mentioned by historians though because it was only considered cow-lateral damage.
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︎ Jul 02 2020
5 hour pun battle with my dad over text
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︎ Sep 21 2018
What do you call a prearranged rap battle?
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︎ Dec 14 2019
Check out the battle scar on my arm. Made from scratch.
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︎ Sep 13 2019
Who was the Knight that was caught off guard in the battle field?
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︎ Apr 21 2020
After a lengthy court battle with British Airways Luggage Handlers...
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︎ Nov 12 2019
Did you hear about the soldier who lost one foot in a battle, and fought on, only to lose his other foot as well?
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︎ Nov 29 2018
How does a squid go into battle?
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︎ Feb 09 2020
What did the German General say after the biggest battle in WW 1?
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︎ Feb 03 2020
A 7-year-old boy is sitting in court during his parents' custody battle.
He shows up wearing an Ottawa Senators jersey, so the judge asks "Are you a Sens fan?" The boy nods his head.
During the custody battle, he is later asked if he wants to live with his mom. His reply is "No, she beats me when drunk."
The judge asks in shock, "Okay, what about your father?"
The boy replies, "But he beats me every day when he comes home from a bad work day!"
With no other options, the jude states "We will have to send you to a foster home." The boy protests.
"Well, who do you want to live with?" the judge asks.
The boy thinks a moment and says ,"The Ottawa Senators. They're nice to people in need, and they don't beat anybody."
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︎ Dec 18 2019
In a battle of the numbers, evens were victorious
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︎ Aug 23 2019
Their battle will be legendary!
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︎ Jun 21 2019
What happens when you lose both your feet in a battleοΌ
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︎ Oct 24 2019
Did you know there was a Knight who always refused to fight in battle?
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︎ Sep 26 2018
Plz halp, I need as many vegetable puns as possible ASAP, the epic vegetable pun battle of the century is now being waged and I am quickly running out of ammo while the enemy shows no signs of retreat
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︎ Jul 22 2018
On a photo shop battle about a deer with a spider web between its antlers
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︎ Jan 14 2019
Did you hear about the battle down at the church?
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︎ Nov 04 2019
If Ben and Jerry broke up would they engage in a custardy battle?
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︎ Jul 23 2019
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︎ Jul 03 2019
Which chemical liquid would destroy bacteria in a rap battle?
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︎ Sep 21 2019
A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police.
He's now a seasoned veteran.
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︎ Jan 14 2019
Kickstarter Pun-bait? No whey. Reddit, lend me your puns in this cheesy battle!
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︎ Apr 30 2019
My boyfriend and I have pun- battles
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︎ Dec 19 2018
what do you call it when apes battle?
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︎ Feb 09 2021
How does an octopus go into battle?
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︎ Mar 03 2019
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