I don't know why I'm so afraid of pressing buttons.
I just can't put my finger on it.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
What do you call a cute button, which on pressing norifies the house owner to open the door?
I've been bench pressing 10 dictionaries everyday for the past 4 weeks.
I've finally got some definition in my arms.
Crushing pop cans is soda pressing
I saw a guy at the gym bench pressing 280lbs
And thought to myself, "that's too weighty for me"
I got a job on pressing cans
There's something about pressing F5... (xpost from r/Jokes)
That's just so refreshing
Credit
Dad's pressing question to the guide of a hiking trek in a spanish speaking country.
Guide: (broken english) "There is a lot of grass in this area because...[good reason]."
Dad: (to me, but loud enough for everyone to hear) "You know what the locals call that...?"
Me: "No, what?"
Dad: "Muchas gracias!" (followed by the biggest grin I've ever seen)
Guide: (confused) "De nada..."
My family quickly and casually disassociates before seeing other families face palm for us.
I was the only one who laughed...
Why did Karen press CTRL + ALT +DEL?
She wanted the task manager
A press conference was held with the lead of the school's administration about bullying
He said it has to be stopped, it's a matter of principal
You'd be hard-pressed to find good cider in this town.
Why is it a bad idea to iron a four leaf clover?
Because you shouldn't press your luck!
Why did the popcorn want to press charges?
Because it was a-salt-ed!
One of my fathers last wishes was to have his ashes pressed into a record....
It was his vinyl request.
The saddest activity in my life...is crushing coke cans.
Dad to Son: "Have you heard about the new online game that's just been released that's heaps popular and getting a lot of press?
Son: "What's it called?"
Dad: "Month."
Son: "Huh?"
Dad: "Apparently it's twice as good as Fortnite".
How do you describe bench-press obsessed army boys insulting each other while they're being shot at?
Chest nuts roasting in open fire
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
My uncle worked in a can crushing plant...
His job was soda pressing.
I resigned from the ironing board.
Too many pressing issues and no way to de crease the number of suits against us.
Constitutional rights at stake.
I read a press release from Heinz saying: "We will never make a Bolognese version of our Alphabetti Spaghetti.
I thought, Blimey. They don't mince their words.
I got sad while reading a story about a deer who died from a hydraulic press...
It was very deer-pressing...
My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough.
He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.
What's a turd next to the toilet?
I just learned how the penny press at the mint works.
It makes cents if you think about it.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
Why was the Press Secretary hard to understand?
She wasn't McEnany sense.
I got hit in the head by a can of Coke today.
I'm okay, it was a soft drink.
I asked my husband to please press pause
and he did so on our dog’s paws
Why did the can crusher quit his job?
Because it was soda-pressing.
I love pressing the F5 key.
Why did Karen press CTRL + Alt + Delete?
She wanted the Task Manager.
Why did Karen press CTRL + Alt + Delete?
She wanted the Task Manager.
I used to have a job crushing pop cans
Why did Karen press ctrl+alt+delete?
She wanted to talk to the task manager.
why is it a bad idea to iron your rabbits foot?
You shouldn't press your luck
Why did Karen press Shift-Control-Escape on her PC?
She wanted to see the Task Manager.
Why did Karen press Ctrl+Alt+Del
She wanted to see the task manager
Never iron your four leaf clover.
You don't want to press your luck.
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