I don't know why I'm so afraid of pressing buttons.
I just can't put my finger on it.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
What do you call a cute button, which on pressing norifies the house owner to open the door?
I've been bench pressing 10 dictionaries everyday for the past 4 weeks.
I've finally got some definition in my arms.
Crushing pop cans is soda pressing
I saw a guy at the gym bench pressing 280lbs
And thought to myself, "that's too weighty for me"
I got a job on pressing cans
There's something about pressing F5... (xpost from r/Jokes)
That's just so refreshing
Credit
Dad's pressing question to the guide of a hiking trek in a spanish speaking country.
Guide: (broken english) "There is a lot of grass in this area because...[good reason]."
Dad: (to me, but loud enough for everyone to hear) "You know what the locals call that...?"
Me: "No, what?"
Dad: "Muchas gracias!" (followed by the biggest grin I've ever seen)
Guide: (confused) "De nada..."
My family quickly and casually disassociates before seeing other families face palm for us.
I was the only one who laughed...
Why did the popcorn want to press charges?
Because it was a-salt-ed!
One of my fathers last wishes was to have his ashes pressed into a record....
It was his vinyl request.
Why did Karen press CTRL + Alt + Delete?
She wanted the Task Manager.
How do you describe bench-press obsessed army boys insulting each other while they're being shot at?
Chest nuts roasting in open fire
Dad to Son: "Have you heard about the new online game that's just been released that's heaps popular and getting a lot of press?
Son: "What's it called?"
Dad: "Month."
Son: "Huh?"
Dad: "Apparently it's twice as good as Fortnite".
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
Constitutional rights at stake.
I read a press release from Heinz saying: "We will never make a Bolognese version of our Alphabetti Spaghetti.
I thought, Blimey. They don't mince their words.
My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough.
He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
I got sad while reading a story about a deer who died from a hydraulic press...
It was very deer-pressing...
I just learned how the penny press at the mint works.
It makes cents if you think about it.
When Biden pressed Trump about his Chinese bank account, Trump admitted...
Why was the Press Secretary hard to understand?
She wasn't McEnany sense.
I got hit in the head by a can of Coke today.
I'm okay, it was a soft drink.
I asked my husband to please press pause
and he did so on our dog’s paws
I always believed that 'sticks and stones would break my bones, but words would never hurt me.'
Until I fell into a printing press.
Why did the can crusher quit his job?
Because it was soda-pressing.
I feel bad for fizzy drink bottles
Their life is soda pressing.
I got a job crushing cans, and I hate it.
It's tough to admit that I'm using too much weight on my bench press.
I'm having a hard time getting this off my chest.
“Officer, how did the hackers get away?”
“No idea. They must have ransomware.”
I spent all day crushing coke cans yesterday.
My friend got fired at the fizzy drinks factory today.
A person who crushes can for a living is always sad
Because his job is Soda pressing
The gyms must stay open.
The Constitution guarantees the Freedom of the Press!
Why did the can crusher quit his job?
Because it was soda pressing.
I just saw my wife tripping and dropping a bunch of clothes she just ironed.
I used to work as a can crusher
I love pressing the F5 key.
Why did Karen press CTRL + Alt + Delete?
She wanted the Task Manager.
Why did Karen press Shift-Control-Escape on her PC?
She wanted to see the Task Manager.
Why did Karen press ctrl+alt+delete?
She wanted to talk to the task manager.
Why did Karen press Ctrl+Alt+Del
She wanted to see the task manager
Finally got a steady job, crushing cans
Why did the Karen press ctrl+alt+del?
She wanted to see the task manager
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
