Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...
"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"
ποΈ 9k
π
οΈ Oct 09 2020
The sky looked a bit foreboding this morning, so I asked Siri "Surely it's not going to rain today?" Siri replied "It is, and don't call me Shirley."
I must have left my phone in Airplane mode.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Feb 01 2021
1986, The Chernobyl reactor exploded, releasing a bright, radioactive beam into the sky. People in towns away stared at it in awe.
They must've thought that it was pretty rad
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Jan 15 2021
Honey, you are the sun that lights my sky.
I'm glad you're there, but god I hate looking at you.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Jan 13 2021
Migratory birds can be fascinating. You often see them fly in "V" formation across the sky. On occasion you see that one side is longer than the other. It's a simple scientific explanation really.
There just happens to be more birds on that side.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Oct 15 2020
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Oct 21 2020
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Oct 21 2020
Red sky at night, shepherd's delight.
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Sep 26 2020
As I lay in bed, looking up at the many thousands of stars in the night sky, I think to myself...
WHAT IN THE HECK HAPPENED TO MY ROOF?
ποΈ 4k
π
οΈ Dec 26 2019
Somewhere in the skies, Otto is smilingβ¦
ποΈ 859
π
οΈ Dec 10 2019
Riding the sky
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Aug 22 2020
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Aug 22 2020
Why shouldn't blind people sky dive??
ποΈ 294
π
οΈ Feb 24 2020
I see Sky News saying this whole Boris Johnson thing is unpresidented...
donβt they mean unprimeministered ?
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Apr 07 2020
I couldnβt figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
ποΈ 31
π
οΈ Jun 23 2020
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Jun 27 2020
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ May 19 2020
2 cowboys were riding along and one saw a tree with bacon dangling from the branches. One called out saying "Look a Bacon Tree!" As they went closer to have a look they were confronted with a sky full of arrows. The other cowboy yelled:
This is no Bacon Tree, this is a Ham Bush.
ποΈ 336
π
οΈ Dec 26 2019
Why do you say when you spot a flying Jedi in the sky ?
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ May 08 2020
Why is a rock that fell from the sky more delicious than one you find on the ground?
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Apr 17 2020
My dogs started playing βLucy in the Sky with Diamondsβ
Shouldβve known since they are the Beagles..
ποΈ 15
π
οΈ Mar 01 2020
You know, sometimes, as I lie in bed, looking up into the great night sky, counting each star and watching the moon slowly float by, I think to myself:
"Where the fuck is my roof?"
ποΈ 18
π
οΈ Feb 13 2020
At least he gets a good view of the sky...
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Oct 12 2019
Friend: "I created the brightest star in the night sky."
Me: "You can't possibly B Sirius."
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Feb 12 2020
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
Edit: Sorry if the joke is terrible, I just made it up.
ποΈ 4k
π
οΈ Nov 26 2017
Why do blind people hate sky diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
ποΈ 129
π
οΈ Aug 26 2019
What holds the sun up in the sky?
ποΈ 10
π
οΈ Dec 21 2019
A woman and a man were talking when suddenly a bird appeared from the sky
The bird looked them straight in the eyes and cawed four times.
The man and woman were very confused until the bird said.
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Dec 24 2019
When does Sky News go live?
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Dec 09 2019
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Dec 12 2019
My parents always told me I can be anything I wanted, the sky's the limit
This made me sad because I wanted to be an astronaut.
ποΈ 38
π
οΈ Sep 16 2019
If someone falls out of the sky, and lands on a church...
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Nov 16 2019
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
ποΈ 77
π
οΈ Mar 01 2019
i threw some peas into the sky
ποΈ 20
π
οΈ Jun 05 2019
Dad: Be careful standing near those trees. Me: Why? The sky is clear, there's no chance of lightning.
Dad: I don't know really, they just look kind of shady to me.
ποΈ 26
π
οΈ Jun 26 2019
I installed a sky light in my apartment.
The people upstairs were not happy at all.
ποΈ 29
π
οΈ Jun 27 2019
When I was growing up, my dad always used to tell me, βThe Skyβs the Limit!β
He was never supportive of my dreams of becoming an astronaut.
ποΈ 73
π
οΈ Apr 21 2019
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
βWow!β I say. βItβs climate change!β
ποΈ 55
π
οΈ Oct 19 2018
Man, the sky looks so PLANE.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Mar 31 2019
Damn christ is high up in the sky!
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Mar 23 2019
Robots in the skies.
ποΈ 39
π
οΈ Feb 01 2018
When geese make a V in the sky, why is one side always longer than the other?
There are more geese on that side
ποΈ 51
π
οΈ Oct 26 2018
My dad always used to say, "The sky's the limit!"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
ποΈ 6k
π
οΈ Oct 18 2017
Red sky at night: shepherdβs delight. Blue sky at night:
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Sep 25 2019
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