Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in water...
....you can safely wear it on your head... because it's capsized.
Why don't cows wear flip-flops?
What do you call a French man wearing flip flops?
Do you know why scuba divers flip backwards when going into the water?
Because if they flipped forward, they'd fall into the boat.
Flip flops are fun. Every time you take a step....
....it's like a high five for your foot.
i once attended a black-tie affair in flip-flops
New to reddit. How do I flip the orientation to where everything isn't upside down?
My wife yelled, “Hey, the sun’s coming out!” So I wore my shorts and flip flops and came downstairs.
Found my son holding hand with his boyfriend.
My wife told me to flip off the thermostat before we left the house. I don’t think she appreciated how I followed her instructions.
There are 4 lizards chilling in the ceiling, one of them did a back flip. How many are left in the ceiling?
None, as the rest clapped and cheered.
Watching John Wick 2 the other night. While Keanu and Common are fighting while both holding the knife the tables turn and Keanu flips the knife around and thrusts it into Commons chest...again while both holding the grip. To which I turn to to my family and say
At least the both have something "in" common.
Why don't cows wear flip flops?
Flip the the first letter dad jokes and you get
I once fell in love while doing a front flip!
*nurse flips on a light switch*
“The Doctor will see you now.”
What kind of chips wear flip-flops?
I was walking backwards in flip flops
And they went pilf spolf.
If you flip a boat over, it will fit on your head;
After all, it's now ... capsized!
I met Buzz Aldrin once and asked how he felt being the second man on the moon. "Well..." he said. "It could have been anyone. Right up until we landed, we hadn't decided who would be first out the door. Then, once we touched down, Neil suggested we flip for it."
"And he won?" I asked.
"Well, no..." he mumbled. "The coin was still in the air when Neil jumped down the ladder, the big jerk!"
How does a blind british flip you off?
Lost a flip flop once ...
Went to replace it and was told they are only sold in pairs ... I've bought hundreds of those damn fruits and have yet to get my other flip flop.
what do you call it when you pay money to watch a flip book?
What do police officers use to flip pancakes?
why can't cows wear flip-flops?
because they lactose
(they lack toes. because they have hooves) (get it??)
Flip the Light Off
As I was going to bed, my dad told me to flip the light off. I go over and flick the switch and turn the light off. Then my father yells at me and tells me to turn it on and flip it off and shows me what he meant.
Thanks Dad
I was painting and decided to flip the canvas...
It's on the floor right now.
"Who can flip the most burgers?" is a game of high stakes
I wrote up my 20 page patent application for an assistive tech robot that flips pages of a book for you.
I thought I would have a hard time finding a stand to hold my flip chart.
Turns out I did it easel-ly
I was walking past a prison the other day and saw a midget escaping down the wall. I waved to him, but all he did was flip me off.
It was a little condescending.
Did you know that any boat can be worn as a hat? It'll fit if you just flip it over.
My wife texted me, saying my puppy ate one of my flip flops...
Guess I'll just have to flip hop when I get home.
My girlfriend just beat an ant to death with her flip flop.
It was a summery execution.
If your boat flips you can wear it on your head.
I fell in love with your mother while doing a back flip.
If you were to flip the first "d" in dad joke..
Why don't cows wear flip flops?
Did I ever tell you kids that I fell in love with your mother while I was doing a back flip?
I was heels over head in love...
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