I just did a somersault.

It wasn't intentional, but I rolled with it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LastedApple3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Got arrested for doing somersault..

The cops said the less assault the better

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardedshagger
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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Some people say I'm addicted to somersaults…

…but that's just how I roll…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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If a smart gymnast does a somersault, what does a dumb gymnast do?

An imbesault

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JRR____Tokin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
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Why did the watchmaker hate that his ex couldnΒ΄t do somersaults?

Because he only liked roll exes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheezNBaconMan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2017
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What do you call it when Dwayne Johnson does a somersault?

ROCK AND ROLL.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cantaloupe_elope
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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Why couldn't the trapeze artist complete a full somersaulting transfer in mid-air?

Because he didn't give a flying flip.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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How to Castrate a Bull, in Limerick Form

I've two bulls who just love to fight //
they simply cannot be polite //
Just one needs to breed //
and so I'll proceed //
to castrate the weak one tonight

The procedure is safe, I insist //
if we make the blood flow desist //
to make bleeding halt //
do the "ball somersault" //
and give that whole sack a huge twist

To do this requires no skill //
I'll just need a quite large power-drill //
and a specialized clamp //
to hold on to that champ //
then turn it on fast- what a thrill!

It is clear this device should appeal //
to those who need bulls with less zeal //
I shall name this device //
with a drill and a vise //
the most perfect of names: "Steering Wheel!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chordus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Cartwheels make no sense to me

I think somersaults should be renamed cartwheels

And cartwheels should be named a la carewheels.

Cuz they're on the side

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedrunkknight
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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My dad

When I was young, playing in the yard we were doing somersaults. I expertly managed a reverse somersault and asked my dad what that was called. He said it was called a winterpepper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skeletonhat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2016
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My dad got a ticket driving home

Dad: "You'll never believe what happened to me today driving home!"

Me: "What?"

Dad: "Well, I was driving down a back road home from work. It was such a beautiful day. The sun was still shining, a slight breeze was rustling the trees, and all the leaves had changed colors. Yellow, orange, red... just a gorgeous view. I was doing about 55, not a car in sight, when I come around a bend and see a cop car parked on the side of the road. I slowed down, but tried not to slow down so quickly that it would be obvious. I carefully drove up past the cop, being extra careful to stay centered within the lines and maintaining my lower speed. It looked like I was all clear, but then from out of nowhere a turkey jumped out in front of my car! I didn't even have a chance to brake!"

Me: "Jeez that's crazy!"

Dad: "I know! It hit the front of my car, rolled up over the windshield and did a somersault before landing directly onto the hood of the officer's car. He immediately turned on his lights and pulled me over and gave me a ticket."

Me: "What?? But that's not your fault! It was the turkey! What did he even give you a ticket for?"

Dad: "He gave me a ticket for flipping him the bird. Hahahaha!"

Me: -___-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoopaSte123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
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Somersaults

That's how I roll.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
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