The cast of βFriendsβ got stuck at sea in a boat, but thankfully nothing happened.
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︎ Apr 13 2021
Why did the boat float away?
It gave into pier pressure.
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︎ May 16 2021
Do y'know why divers roll off the boat backwards?
If they rolled forwards they'd still be in the boat!
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︎ May 25 2021
Did you guys hear about the boat that got stuck in the Suez canal?
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︎ Apr 03 2021
I donβt really mind sitting on the left or right of a rowing boat.
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︎ Apr 26 2021
My wife asked me which paddle I wanted to use in the boat...
I answered βeither/oar.β
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︎ Apr 04 2021
Two boats full of red and blue paint crashed in the indian ocean today
All of the crew are marooned
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︎ Apr 29 2021
When the cast of Friends goes out on a boat, why does Phoebe always get put in charge of propulsion?
Because Lisa Kudrow (could row).
I just made that up yesterday at work after greeting a colleague with the same first name. Its original to me but feels obvious enough that I'm sure I'm not the first to think of it, especially after 20 years.
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︎ May 13 2021
Did you hear about the paddle sale at The Boat Store?
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︎ Apr 17 2021
How many boats are trying to get through the Suez Canal now that it's unblocked?
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︎ Mar 31 2021
Three men were onboard a ship playing dice on deck when the oldest man angrily jumped off the front of the boat. The younger man said..
You keeled my father. Prepare two die.
*I sent this to my brother and he replies: Was his name Inyougo?
^(What a freaking professional)
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Why do scuba divers always fall backwards out of the boat?
Because if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat!
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︎ Feb 20 2021
Do you know why scuba divers roll backwards out of the boat?
Because if they rolled forward, theyβd be in the boat
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︎ Feb 14 2021
Why do ships and boats sink all the time?
Because they don't know how to swim
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︎ Mar 20 2021
Why did that boat really get stuck in the Suez Canal?
Someone turned on the light in the back seat and it distracted the driver.
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︎ Apr 01 2021
Leek in the boat
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︎ Jun 12 2020
What kind of tree nut is best to take out on the boat for an all day fishing trip?
A Pecan
but only if you pronounce it "pee can"
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︎ Feb 25 2021
I bought a sail for my boat on Amazon the other day.
Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late.
That sail has shipped.
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Thereβs two morons on a boat. One of the morons is larger. The larger moron falls off. Why?
The little one was a little more on.
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︎ Jan 21 2021
Theres a leek on the boat!
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldnβt a fjord a new one.
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︎ Sep 12 2020
Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?
I can't remember the name but it's riveting.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
What did the boat say to the pier?
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︎ Oct 28 2020
Did you hear about the guy who went into the Everglades, found this huge sea-cow thing and beat it to death with the oar of his boat?
They're prosecuting him for crimes against a manatee.
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︎ Nov 06 2020
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on their boats?
So when they pull up to port, they can Scandanavian
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︎ Dec 31 2020
I don't think the author even realized what they did! Context: the article is about killer whales attacking boats.
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︎ Oct 12 2020
Apple just announced their new electric vehicle, the iCar, coming in 2024. Rumor is theyβre working on a self driving boat as well.
Theyβre going to call it the iAye
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︎ Dec 24 2020
I saw a drunk dude riding in a boat on the chests of four women with average bust size, one of whom had a single mastectomy.
He was sailing on the seven Cβs
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︎ Dec 09 2020
The boat is sick
We gotta take it to the dock.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
What is the most popular boat in the southern US?
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.
I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.
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︎ Oct 29 2020
The guy who mans the fishing rods on my boat tried to convince me to vote for a candidate. I fired him.
Pole workers aren't allowed to do that!
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Why did the boat know it had a leak?
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︎ Oct 17 2020
I was going to row across the Atlantic in a little boat...
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︎ Nov 07 2020
Just finished resding a great book called "Arguement On The Narrow Boat"
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︎ Oct 31 2020
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. Somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me...
Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a minute and when I came out, I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a slight limp...
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︎ Sep 03 2020
What happened when the red boat crashed into the blue boat?
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︎ Jul 31 2020
Before my surgery, the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle...
It was an ether/oar situation...
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︎ Apr 29 2020
How did the cheesemonger paint his boat?
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︎ Oct 24 2020
One of my friends was cooking in a wok on the back of a boat.
He was making a stern fry.
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︎ Jul 08 2020
Had to tell my family we can't take the boat to the lake cause my truck broke down. Fortunately, avocado.
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︎ Aug 21 2020
Most brands of bottled beer is the same as having sex on a boat
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︎ Jul 08 2020
Why did the Norwegian boats have barcodes on the side?
When they dock, they can scan-di-navian...
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︎ Jul 08 2020
What did George Washington say to his men before they stepped into the boat?
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︎ Aug 14 2020
While riding down the road today, a fish jumped out of a boat that was being towed, and smashed into the front of my car.
It wasn't all bad though, I love grilled fish.
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︎ Sep 15 2020
Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?
Because if they fell forwards, theyβd still be in the boat!
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︎ Nov 20 2020
Why did the viking buy an old boat ?
He couldn't a fjord a new one
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︎ Sep 15 2020
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