I'm currently reading a book about the life of Henry Ford.
I’m currently learning sign language.
I want to tell jokes that people have never heard!
(Sorry if this joke has been done, just heard it for the first time from a coworker and wanted to share.)
If you place all currently living people on the equator around the Earth,
at equal distance from each other,
...
most of them would get wet and some will surely drown
Sat on the toilet at 11:59PM. It’s currently 12:01AM.
Same shit, different day.
I am currently one of the world record holders for the Rubik's Cube...
It has been 43 years and I still cannot solve it.
In the last weeks campaign, I was asked to get the opinions of women on what shampoo were they currently using........
The most common answer I got was......................
"EEEEKK!! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET INTO MY BATHROOM???!!!"
My anatomy class is currently covering the skeletal system and my professor is being unreasonable with the amount of material we need to know so I made an office hour appointment to speak with him.
You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.
Are you currently wearing a face mask and glasses to work?
You may be eligible for condensation.
Currently writing a screenplay for a show called Pun: The Musical.
I'm currently creating a sculpture of a maths equation but I'm really struggling to finish.
I just can't figure it out.
My wife and I are currently due our third, and I don't remember the other pregnancies being this long.
This one seems to be lasting a maternity.
Currently in the process of uniting a kingdom
Currently outside with my girls.
2 year old was running and a bee started flying across her path. She stopped, pointed at it and made a semi distressed, "uuh uuh!" sound. I told her, "You're ok .....just let it bee."
My neighbour said he'd look after my dog if I accepted the fact that he's currently dating a punctuation mark.
I am currently writing an introduction to a novel about a young man trying to find his former partner.
I guess it's an ex-position.
I’m currently reading a book about gravity
It’s impossible to put down
Big Ben Currently Under Construction (From r/funny)
I worked a place with strict grooming guidelines but we are currently closed for the duration.
Due to social distancing and other issues I am not going to cut my hair or trim my beard for a time. How long? Furlough time.
I got into an argument with a friend about what the best medieval weapon was. I said the Warhammer, he said the Mace. It got so heated we are currently not speaking to each other...
Talk about blunt force drama.
Currently in the hospital after the birth of our third child. Wife talking to lactation consultant about supply vs demand.
I chime in, "Sounds like MILKroeconomics 101."
My head hertz while currently trying to conduct a title.
I collect clocks. I currently have 37.
I'm pretty good at time-keeping
Being cooped up in the house for so long has led me to attempt new hobbies. As an example, I'm currently studying how to adapt French phrases to describe the situation.
You could say it's my maison d'être.
My Dad is currently riding his bicycle across America to raise awareness for Colon Cancer...
[and posted a picture of him and his bike on a rest day.] (https://i.imgur.com/IapqomG.png)
Edit: Whoa this is getting popular. I live on the other side of the world, and am about to go to bed, but I am just going to put his [donation page] (http://ccf.convio.net/site/TR?px=3433802&fr_id=1580&pg=personal) at the top of the post if anyone is interested. It is no big deal, but if someone is looking, I thought I'd put it at the top. Either way, you all are going to make his day when I show him how many people appreciated his joke. I just hope this doesn't mean that I have to laugh at all of them from now on...
Meghan Markle is currently stuck abroad...
She's leaving the royal family, so she can't be a dame!
[Based on the news I heard today, incase you're confused]
What is the young snake currently going through?
My niece, currently living in another country, asked: Can you vote when you are abroad?
Me: You can now that women got the vote.
I’m currently working on a machine that can read minds
I’d love to here your thoughts
I am currently dating a math professor. Her name is Ellen.
She is the complete inverse of my e^(x).
I’m currently in Montreal, Canada and just found this place across the street. I wonder if they serve Russian style poutines?
We're currently selling our house...
The GF called to say we had a viewing and asked what state the house was in...
"Well, it's certainly not a gas...."
sigh - phone goes silent - click
Might be looking for a place on my own now.
I asked my North Korean friend how things were in his country currently.
He said they couldn't complain.
James Bond is currently abstaining from sex so that he can have multiple orgasms.
I'm currently attending a coding bootcamp and our current sprint is recreating a youtube client with reactJS...
The name of the page we're creating is recast.ly => Rick Astley.
"So you currently work 9 to 5, Monday through Friday," said my boss.
"That is correct," I replied.
He said, "Would you be able to work outside those hours?"
I said, "No, I might catch a cold."
I’m currently in between relationships.
There are two couples on either side of me, kissing and making out.
What do you call a potato currently going to school to become a doctor?
My wife is currently in the hospital having contractions.
They hooked up the monitoring belt to her and I asked the nurse if the sensors could send data to my phone. She said no, but I was really hoping for push notifications.
I'm currently being audited by the IRA.
O'Donovan know how they got ahold of my records and what my taxes have to do with their cause.
My wife and I were talking about starting a family and all the health things you're supposed to do like not eat processed sliced meats. Unfortunately she currently eats a turkey sandwich most days for her lunch.
I told her she better start trying alternatives soon, it's going to be hard to quit eating her current lunch cold turkey.
I’m currently reading a book about anti gravity
I'm currently reading a book about anti-gravity
It's impossible to put down.
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