You know, Salsa Distancing.
It was about time.
It turned into a real brewhaha.
Due to ongoing quarantine measures, i'll only be telling inside jokes from now on
Allow me to regale you with a couple tales illustrating my late dad's sense of humor. Last names faked because I'm not that stupid.
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(1). At a routine PTA meeting about me in my Georgia school, everyone found themselves packed into a hot and stuffy room waiting for the boredom to end. Shoulder to shoulder fun, can you picture it?
My dad lets one rip. It's loud, smelly, and echoes. The room falls silent as the fart invites itself unfavorably to the nostrils of those in attendance.
He turns to my mom and with his best shocked face says, "... Patty!"
I like to think he slept on the couch that night.
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(2). During my old man's wait for us to arrive at the new home he had bought, he had to deal with ongoing construction and roughed it at a hotel for a few nights. He was a retired Master Chief Machinist's Mate, so cramped quarters reminded him of the sub's nuclear engine room. No biggie.
An interview comes up for a civilian nuclear power plant nearby, and before you know it my dad's sitting before these stuffy, serious, wrinkly old board members and managers, having his (mostly military) resume picked through.
"Well Mister Smith, we're impressed. Twenty two years is no small amount of time to dedicate to the service. But do you feel you're qualified to operate and audit a civilian fission power plant?"
My dad thinks on it for a second.
"Well no, sir, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night."
He got the job immediately.
(For those needing the reference)
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Thanks for caring to read. I miss him a lot and this subreddit always reminds me of his sense of dry, quick humor. Take care!
I have this ongoing thing at the office where whenever this one middle-aged guy (call him Andy) gets a haircut, I say, "Hey Andy, you got a haircut" and Andy, without fail dadjokes me with "I got them ALL cut" and then we yuk it up in the hallway ... this has gone on for years and years, until recently, when Andy decided that due to male-pattern baldness, he would completely shave his head. Now it is not as funny to tell Andy he got his hair cut, because literally he got them ALL cut and it just looks like I am making fun of him. (:(
I work at a summer camp where my ongoing joke is instead of doing activities we are going to real, eat vegetables and do math. one kid did not find it funny and asked why:
kid: why do we have to do math? Do you ever use it during summer?
me: sum times.
I repeated it with emphasis on both words for a bout a minute or so until his eyes rolled.
"I need to book an appointment asap, its about an ongoing toothache"
"Thats fine sir, the earliest we have is at 11 am Tuesday if thats ok with you?"
Dad- "Are you sure you heard me correctly? I said toothache, I need the appropriate time slot for that type of appointment,"
"What do you mean sir? What would be your preferred time and I can see if there's an availability"
Dad- "Two-thirty"
Me: Dad can I have Chips?
Dad: I don't know, can you?
Me: (Calling on the phone) Hi Dad, can I talk to Mom?
Dad: I don't know, can you?
Me: Dad, can you pass me the salt.
Dad: Yes, yes I can. (Continues eating his dinner, doesn't pass the salt)
I never really thought of this as a Dad joke, I always just thought my dad was being an a** or trying to teach me better grammar, but he always laughed when he said it so i guess this was his ongoing Dad Joke.
This went on and on to the point where I had to remove the word Can from my vocabulary.
