Inside jokes
The 00s.
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK"
After discovering he'd been given a parking ticket, the giant exclaimed in disappointment as he approached his house. This startled a burglar inside, causing him to flee from the property but not before trapping his stubby digit in the door, causing him to leave blood at the scene. Thankfully, the giant's powerful nasal abilities allowed him to aid police as he was able to detected the exact nationality and gender of the robber in question. When interviewed, the giant simplified the story for us by saying,
"Fee, Fie, Foe, Thumb, I smell the blood of an English Man."
I told her I might be running late and asked if we could make it 6:38 instead?
Calling it "Spit-Roasted Dill Doe" was maybe a little unwise
I was just in a checkout line at the grocery store and the man behind me was going on and on in broken English about being from some Neo-Mediterranean superpower. He got my attention, pointed to a newspaper above the belt, and asked what it was. I replied “It’s the Times, New Roman.”
Its bird-gin-ing research.
I said, “No, we will still be friends.”
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
But that's behind me now.
Disturbed's lead singer just laughed like a monkey and said he was "down with the thiccness."
What is often characterized as a very conservative organization has taken a stance against racism. I'm not surprised at all though. To anyone who's been paying attention, from its very beginnings, NASCAR has always been veering to the left.
They told me that recently they had come into ownership of a small ball of string. At first, they thought nothing of it. One day, they walked into their house and the ball of string was on the table, when they had specifically left it in a closet. They put it away again, but the next day when they came home from work, the ball was on the table again. It kept happening, and eventually it became a sort of game for my friend. They'd leave it somewhere they thought it could never come back from, and return to find it on their table.
Then it began to appear in other places.
It appeared in the middle of a company meeting. One moment, the table was empty, the next, it had a ball of string in the middle. While driving, they spotted it in the back of their car. They saw it inside of a vending machine. But at the end of every day it would return to their table.
Eventually, my friend decided enough was enough. They took the string, and threw it off a bridge into a river. As they were driving home, a car swerved and hit them, wrecking both cars. My friend staggered to check on the other driver, and all he found was a small pile of soggy string on the seat.
After that, he never saw the string again.
So after he told me this tale, I turned to him, and said, "Wow... that was quite a yarn."
It found 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy.
But upon further consideration he was gladiator.
Has one breast and one testicle.
I mean, just look at all those explosions after math!
It is that thyme of year, I suppose.
You gottta know when to hold 'em.
Let that sink in…
Dick gray, son!
I put an instrument at the start of this sentence.
Current events make it less attractive.
All hail The Double Pun. Mic drop
Never get over it.
The steaks will be higher than ever
Fortunately they are identical twins, so if you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal.
I just call it a Rowbot.
It had some interesting dada to go by.
Because he was gladiator.
They all hate stakes.
I wasn’t Bourne yesterday, you know.
Never gets old.
Co-teacher: "Students name" came in and said he lost his throat.
Me: Oh no! Did he check where he last remembered having it?
Co-teacher: He couldn't say.
48% of Americans chose real butter, whilst the other 51% opted for a substitute.
The study concluded that imitations are only margarineally butter.
That left scientists scratching their heads.
I was just in a checkout line at the grocery store and the man behind me was going on and on in broken English about being from some Neo-Mediterranean superpower. He got my attention, pointed to a newspaper above the belt, and asked what it was. I replied “It’s the Times, New Roman.”
Yes. It’s true. Current events have made it less attractive.
Let that sink in.
